Author Archives: expressyourself4him

Why Losses Outweigh the Victories in Life

Posted on February 24, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Earlier today, I began to feel like Job, pondering when my recent streak of trials will end.  While attending a friend’s concert this evening, enjoying the Raymond Lee Band, I sensed an answer coming from the Holy Spirit.  If victories out numbered losses, individuals would not learn essential life lessons.  Therefore, God allows losses to outweigh victories in life so that humility produces teachable moments.

As I read the book of Psalms, it appears King David does more complaining than celebrating.  In the tough times. people are forced into a corner, revealing their true character.  Behind the sadness and tears, rough circumstances leads troubled souls to trust in the Lord.  Without failure. you don’t truly appreciate the good things in life.

Perhaps, this is the main message of James 1:2-4.  After the storms of life fade from the horizon, souls are left to pick up the pieces.   Subsequently, wisdom is gained through maturity and perseverance.  Winning is nice, but sometimes victory hides flaws and imperfections.  Thus, the Lord places losses in life more than victories so that Jesus’ power might be displayed in our weaknesses, 2 Corinthians 12:9.

by Jay Mankus

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When You’ve Got Nothing Left to Give

Posted on February 23, 2014 by expressyourself4him

In the film National Treasure, Nicolas Cage plays Benjamin Gates, a treasure hunter with a tarnished reputation.  Despite trying to warn authorities, no one takes his threat serious, that the Declaration of Independence is in danger.  In life, there are times when you reach a similar fate, when you’ve done everything you can think of, with nothing else to give.

The apostle Paul refers to these moments in life as periods of humility, 2 Corinthians 12:7-8.  When you’re successful most of the time, individuals have a tendency to steal the spotlight from God by saying, “look at me!”  Whether you’re watching the Olympics, professional sports and a high school game, the victor receives the spoils.  However, behind the cameras, the losers are forced to face the fact they’re got good enough, with nothing left to give except reflecting on what went wrong.

Today, I find myself at the bottom of the barrel, leaning on the words of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.  As much as I want to be magically healed and return to work now, I am stuck with an aging imperfect body which need times to be restored.  Thus, I have nothing else to give except time.  In my weakness, Christ needs to be strong, to carry me through the frustration of being helpless.  When you’ve got nothing left to give, lean on God’s power to lift you up each time you fall!

by Jay Mankus

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Boundaries, Bounties and Blown Opportunities

Posted on February 22, 2014 by expressyourself4him

I witnessed a pastor go old school today, committing what some may call social suicide.  Taking no prisoners, this man of the cloth convicted households who display little boundaries or prefer to be their child’s best friend.  When parents don’t say no, define acceptable perimeters or clarify right from wrong behavior for their children, kids become one with the world.  Instead of being transformed by the word of God, Romans 12:1-2, teenagers are becoming like dust in the wind, blown from one trend to the next.

Today, more than ever, society has been turned upside down, just watch any commercial airing in prime time which ties sex to their products.  In the Wild West, cities and town offered bounties for anyone who were able to help authorities catch a criminal wanted for a hideous act.  If only an entrepreneur had enough money to offer rewards for good behavior, perhaps this country might return to its Judeo-Christian heritage.  Unfortunately, lines drawn in the sand keep moving, enforced differently by the government, leaders and schools, resulting in a generation of confusion.

From my own perspective, its frustrating to look back on all the blown opportunities I missed as a father.  Depression, fatigue and time have chipped away the standards I want to consistently uphold for my family.  Although I would like to turn the clock back, all I can do is look to history to avoid future failures.  Essentially, I need to become a Moses’ like figure, clearly communicating God desires for daily living, Exodus 19:3-6.  The best advice for anyone wrestling with parenting is found in Proverbs 22:6, “train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  May the words of the Bible provide blueprints for youth and adults struggling to identify absolutes, Psalm 119:105.

by Jay Mankus

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Days of Trouble

Posted on February 21, 2014 by expressyourself4him

I’m beginning to think that life is like a journey across the Ocean.  Some days the sky is sunny, waves timid and the winds calm, allowing you to coast without any worries.  Yet, without any warning, storms develop out of no where, rocking your world, forming days of trouble.

A few weeks ago, I was on cloud nine, enjoying my seasonal position, optimistic that I would likely receive a full time position in this department.  Today, I’m like the sail boat in Robert Redford’s latest film, All is Lost, slowly sinking to the bottom of the sea.  My perspective has drastic changed, just hoping to get back to work, waiting to be medically cleared to return.  During my days of trouble, the weather appears isolated, a slight drizzle overhead with a dense fog blinding my vision of the future.

Psalm 27:5 recounts the trials King David endured before the Lord fulfilled his promise in 1 Samuel 16:13.  On the run, fleeing the wrath of King Saul and dwelling in a cave wasn’t exactly how David pictured his journey to the throne.  Despite the heartache one experiences in the days of trouble, God has promised to provide shelter from these storms.  As the flood waters rise, place your feet of the rock and God will keep you safe until the days of trouble pass.

by Jay Mankus

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The Secret Behind Volunteerism

Posted on February 20, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Whether you are involved in a local church, little league or school, most volunteers often get used and abused.  Subsequently, burnout occurs within  the first few weeks, month or year, leaving organizations scrambling to find a reliable helpers every season.  Depending upon what study you quote, on average 10 percent of a groups’ volunteers does 90 percent of the work.  This raises the question, “what’s the secret behind volunteerism?”

As a former coach and teacher, I struggled to find more than three willing families to assist me annually.  If I could spread their commitment and passion to others, I might be a famous motivational speaker by now.  However, recently I have stumbled upon a few crucial ingredients that transformed the nation of Israel from self centered individuals into servants willing to pitch in.

Beginning in Exodus 35:4-19, Moses makes his plea to the people, similar to a PTA meeting as a vision is cast for what needs to be done in the forseeable future.  Once information has been conveyed, its up to the people involved to rise to the occasion.  Although not as sexy as modern speeches, Moses addresses each need one by one, asking for supplies and workers.  After  listening, each family withdrew to contemplate their role in the big picture of God’s plan, unveiling the secret behind volunteerism in Exodus 35:20-29.

1) Consider the cost before you agree to say yes.

2) Commit to only what you can, without feeling guilty or regret.

3) Come with a willingness to complete the role you have signed up for.

4) Only give based upon the moving of your heart since God loves a cheerful giver.

5) Donate anything you don’t need, use or plan on doing anything with in the future.

6) Find the place or role where you can be an asset for your community.

7) Put the needs of others in front of yourself as giving results in priceless moments.

by Jay Mankus

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I Don’t Feel Like It Today

Posted on February 19, 2014 by expressyourself4him

After another frustrating day visiting the doctor, sometimes its hard to stay motivated.  When I woke up this morning, I didn’t feel like reading the Bible or praying.  Part of me thought, “what’s the point?”  I’ve done everything I can think of and I’m still not cleared to return to work.

Perhaps, this same emotion is experienced by millions of individuals on a daily basis.  Once you bust your butt and work hard without any tangible results, apathy and pessimism often set in.  Thus, staying hopeful is a battle, especially when others around you seem to be better off than yourself.  In these moments, faith must be more than a feeling or else you will collapse under a sea of disappointment.

Despite my initial inclination, I fought through these urges to give God my first fruits, the first hour of my day.  Although I did not receive the outcome I wished for, there is still enough time in this day for my prayer to be answered.  When desperation sets in, the Lord is the only firm foundation remaining, Psalm 28:1.  Within my own uncertainty, I cling to the promise of Psalm 28:7, hoping to leap for joy instead of feeling depressed.

by Jay Mankus

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Clinging to the Security Blankets of Your Past

Posted on February 18, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Charles Schultz conjured up in his mind a fictional character with real life tendencies in his classic comic strip Peanuts.  Linus was a boy who never wanted to leave his favorite blanket, finding comfort from this childhood possession.  Today, infants have similar habits, becoming attached to binkies, serving as a calming device to produce sleep.  Despite purging closets each spring, most adults aren’t willing to let go of sentimental items, keeping a few like a security blanket from your past.

Peter was a professional fisherman whose new acquaintance introduced himself as a carpenter.  Luke 5:1-11 recounts this first meeting as Peter listens to Jesus speak after a long night of work.   Despite his initial hesitation, Peter is willing to trust someone from another occupation, based upon a gut feeling within his heart, Luke 5:6.  Subsequently, Peter reached a point of conviction, guilty of holding on to traditions instead of faith.  By the end of this passage, each member of his crew was touched by God, leaving everything they knew behind, letting go of their security blankets.

I’m not sure if its my ego, pride or stubbornness, but I find it hard to completely change the routines I have set in life.  Sure, every New Year’s provides a tempest, the perfect conditions to rededicate one’s life.  Nonetheless, the fear of uncertainty prevents permanent transformation from occurring.  Thus, when the going get’s tough, people fall back on what they know instead of following the advice of strangers.  This reality of life fulfills the words of Proverbs 27:19, “as water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.”  May the example of these fishermen inspire others to forgo the security blankets of their past with a faith for the future.

by Jay Mankus

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How Bad Do You Really Want It?

Posted on February 17, 2014 by expressyourself4him

If I had to take an honest assessment of my goals in life  and compare this with how I actually spend my time, my actions display a lack of hunger to make my American Dream a reality.  While playing on a  Florida mini-tour in 1995, I met several individuals who were willing to risk everything, sacrificing food, shelter and wants to one day make the P.G.A. Tour.  Clearly, they wanted it more than me as some ate peanut butter and jelly 3 times a day, 7 days a week, a few lived in their cars and many more worked the night shift so they could play in golf tournaments during the day.  In essence, I’m the only one to blame for not fulfilling this desire of my heart.

Cover Photo

Nearly 20 years later, I not willing to let another dream slip through my hands.  Back in the late 90’s, I had a 45 minute phone conversation with Max Lucado’s editor, set up by a mutual friend who owned a Christian Bookstore.  At the time, I was a freelance writer trying to break through, asking as many questions as possible without being rude.  Two of his statements serve as a glimmer of hope for this amateur author: “If you want to get noticed, the average professional writes full time for 7 years before getting paid or if you can only afford to do this part time, you must be willing to invest 15 years of your life.”  Over the past 3 years, I am in the process of paying my dues, with over 700 daily articles, 1 complete 90 minute movie script and currently a third of the way through my first book called Behind the Devil’s Door.  Though I could probably devote more time to writing each week, this time around the block I want it more than ever.

In Psalm 27:4, King David asks a similar question, but from a spiritual perspective: “How badly do you want to spend time with God?”  Are you happy with your current relationship or are holding back, not ready to commit fully to the Lord?  Based upon verses 1-3, if you are afraid, faithless or weak, you’re likely missing essential pieces.  What’s holding you back, keeping you from experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirit daily?  Perhaps you don’t want God as bad as He longs to be with you, Luke 15:20.  May the words of Matthew 6:33-34 provide the assurance you need to re-prioritize your life as soon as possible.  While every human feels the pain of unfulfilled dreams, I pray that gazing upon the beauty of the Lord will transform your perspective on life.  Your actions in the days that follow will answer the question, how bad do you really want it?

by Jay Mankus

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Walk This Way… Talk This Way

Posted on February 16, 2014 by expressyourself4him

As the summer of 1975 draw to a close, Aerosmith released their classic hit Walk This Way just before Labor Day Weekend.  When vinyl was king, this second single from the album Toys in the Attic was re-released a year later in November as popularity grew reaching as high as Number 10 on the Billboard Hot 100.  Essentially, this song written by Steven Tyler and Joe Perry brought Aerosmith into the mainstream during the 1970’s and revitalized the band’s comeback in the 80’s.  From a high school loser to a taste of success, these lyrics struck a common cord with American’s, able to relate this song to life.

From the fall of 1999 thru early 2002, I spent time working as a staff writer for Travel Golf Media, now known as Travelgolf.com.  Every winter I was sent books, product or videos to review, then write an article based upon my experience as a former golf professional.  One of my favorite assignments was pretending to know nothing about golf, starting from scratch.  The goal was to watch each of the 3 videos in the set, apply the lessons on a course or practice facility for a week and give an accurate assessment of the teacher’s instructions.  Although frustrating, I was learning to walk and talk like an infant picking up a golf club for the first time.

In the decade that followed, my role changed from giving solid advice about golf to spiritual insight on life.  Unfortunately, the older people get, the more set they become in their ways, unwilling to consider honest critiques.  In fact, as a former Bible teacher, I’ve learned that certain forms of entertainment, hobbies or  pastimes are sacred.  A mere suggestion of error, flaw or inaccuracy often provoked explosive debates in class as if I was attacking their little brother or sister.  Therefore, I tried to be more subtle, quoting verses like Psalm 26:3, Proverbs 27:19 and 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, letting the Bible do the talking for me.  May these words from the Bible convince the unstable to walk and talk like Jesus, 1 John 2:6.

by Jay Mankus

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Bouncing Back

Posted on February 15, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Super balls, the toy, not the lottery game were always fascinating to me.  If you were in a gym or parking lot, it didn’t take much effort on one bounce to get a super ball to reach 50 feet high.  The rubber inside was perfectly designed to vault into the air, springing up and down for several seconds.  If only human beings could bounce back as quick as these specially designed balls.

The term bounce can either be a noun or verb depending upon your use.  Webster uses a noun when referencing jumping, moving up and down or rebounding an object that has taken a bad bounce.  Meanwhile, a verb is the actually act like bouncing a basketball or rebounding from a fall.  The greatest Olympic example of this is a ski jumper who falls at the end of the ramp, wiping out, falling end over end down a steep hill, crashing and sliding into several different objects along the way.  ABC Sports titled this moment, “the Agony of Defeat,” replaying it each week as a promotional for The Wide World of Sports.

If my kids could have created a video of my 5 second fall during my tubing accident, I might have over 1 million hits on my you tube channel.  However, my initial concern is trying to swallow my pride, get healthy and make a quick recovery.  I am more embarrassed than anything, kicking myself for wasting my personal time from work during this 2 week period.  Despite everything that happened, I still have my life, the ability to walk and my breathing improves daily.  If you’re feeling down today, use the prayer in Colossians 3:23 to bounce back as you rebound from a fall in life.

by Jay Mankus

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