Tag Archives: discipline

In Your Own Backyard

Posted on December 30, 2013 by expressyourself4him

The older adults tend to get, the more complex they make life.  In the early years of imaginations, dreaming of becoming a doctor, firefighter and inventor, kids were encouraged to think big.  Sure, any goal requires discipline and hard work, but vision provides a sense of direction for individuals to aim or shoot for in life.  This is where I began my journey toward success.

These images never included my own back yard, community or neighborhood.  This was too narrow and small, lacking a grand design.  Thus, I pursued opportunities across state lines, throughout the nation and for a few weeks, to Canada to attempt to play professional golf.  Through the ups and downs and the peaks and valleys, God has brought me full circle to my own back yard to begin 2014.

In the PAX television series Hope Island, Cameron Daddo played a pastor of a small church, running away from a dark past and a father he could never please.  In the season finale, Cameron’s father, a famous evangelist similar to Billy Graham, invites him to join the ministry team and one day take over the ministry.  Excited by the offer, Daddo is torn between leaving a legacy or serving his congregation in his own backyard.  His answer is found in the attached you tube.

As for me, long gone are the days of becoming famous or attaining national recognition.  Rather, I feel called by the Holy Spirit to be a loving husband, a little league coach in Newark and support my children in their endeavors.  This reality may not come close to the fame encountered during countless goal setting sessions, yet for 2014 its where I need to be.  While students will be touched to feed starving people in 3rd world nations, there are plenty of places to start today to help others in your own backyard.

by Jay Mankus

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Forgiven… Not Excused

Posted on November 9, 2013 by expressyourself4him

One of my weakest areas as a high school teacher was consistently disciplining students by the same standards day in and day out.  When I was in a good mood, I tended to be more patient, forgiving or overlooking acts I normally confronted or punished.  Meanwhile, if I was frustrated or irritated by a previous class, the wrath of Mr. Mankus came down in full force, kicking students out of class or sending several willing participants to after school detention.  In a sense, my goal was to communicate the message, “you’re forgiven, yet not excused for your behavior.

 

As a parent, this struggle has become more complicated as my kids have grown up and become too comfortable to their laid back dad.  Whenever I try to corral them toward a desired behavior, I receive sarcasm, creating a chain of laughter at my dinner table.  Discipline is like an art form which requires discernment, firmness and a set of values to abide by.  Bribing my children doesn’t work as well as it once was, spanking only worked when they were younger and yelling is too exhausting.  Although I am imperfect, all I can do is strive to live out Proverbs 22:6, proclaiming, “you’re forgiven by not excused from your actions.”

John 8:1-11 contains a woman whose hand in caught in the cookie jar of sin.  Before the days of judges and juries, the religious leaders were old school, taking action right away.  Interrupting Jesus’ teaching, the Pharisees were eager to apply the law of Moses, seeking the death penalty for the adulterer.  Thinking of his journey to the cross, Jesus turned his attention to perfection, looking for the guiltless to pick up the first stone.  Writing down the sins of the people in the crowd in the sand, the accusers leave one by one, dropping their rocks on their way home.  Although the crowd fled, Jesus didn’t let the woman off easy.  John 8:11 implies once you ask God for forgiveness, an act of contrition is necessary.  Jesus loves you just the way you are, but cares enough to move you beyond sin.  Therefore, the next time you receive forgiveness, God expects genuine repentance, turning 180 degrees toward Him, leaving sinful ways in the rear view mirror.

by Jay Mankus

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Thirsting for the Wrong Things

Posted on November 1, 2013 by expressyourself4him

I spent the first half of my life trying to gain weight, always shiny and frail.  Exercising was a way of life, running 5 miles and swimming 3 miles a day at my physical peak, resulting in only a 4 percent body fat.  However, once I stopped running a year after I got married, my weight ballooned for the first time in my life as I began to thirst for the wrong things.  Although I survived a near death experience of alcohol poisoning at a friend’s wedding after college, my gut now contains a 12 pack of soda.

 
Unfortunately, the days of burning off calories for me have subsided as my waist size is running out out belt loops.  Forced to a diet during my running and swimming days, the only time I pigged out was the spring, able to walk off any weight gain on the golf course.  Today, if I don’t limit my intake of snacks, soda or treats, my scale gives me the bad news at the end of the day.  While the message of Luke 12:19 sounds good, “take life easy, eat, drink and be mercy,” the context refers to a rich fool.  Thus, I am either looking in the wrong place for answers or I’ve lost my former discipline to abstain from things harmful to my body.

The 4th chapter of John records the longest conversation Jesus encountered in the Bible.  Like most modern struggles, a Samaritan woman began to thirst for the wrong things in life.  This unhealthy desire led to an unfilled life, chasing after love, never to be found in the 6 relationships she sought, John 4:15-18.  Unaware of who she was talking to, Jesus offered a cure to her dilemma, John 4:10-14.  Something inside of this woman’s heart spurred her on to tell others, John 4:28-30.  This hunger for the truth led this Samaritan and several others to believe, John 4:39-42.  Taste and see that the Lord is good, Psalm 34:8.

by Jay Mankus

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What’s Missing From this Picture?

Posted on July 14, 2013 by expressyourself4him

Regardless of how intelligent or talented you are, everyone goes through periods of slumps, where you are not as productive as usual.  The baseball player can’t get buy a hit.  The running back can’t seem to hold on to the ball anymore.  The jump shooter turns into a brick layer and the goalie treats each opponent like its Christmas.  Likewise, the doctor struggles to diagnose a cold, the engineer wrestles to find a quick solution and the teacher babbles away period after period.  When these circumstances find you, what’s the missing answer, ingredient or piece to your dilemma?

Deep within the pages of the Bible, I think I have unearthed a principle that might just be the missing link.  In Acts 16:22-24, Paul, Silas and Luke find themselves in an awkward predicament, imprisoned for freeing a slave girl.  Instead of arguing, bickering and complaining, somehow they are led to fulfill the words of Psalm 150.  Embracing their situation, Paul and Silas begin a worship service in prison.  This spirit of praise moves God to unleash a violent earthquake, likely 6.0 or higher on the Richter scale.  This natural disaster opens a door for ministry, setting the scene for a spiritual breakthrough.

From a personal perspective, I think I have become too worldly to experience a Pauline like miracle.  However, if I dedicated myself to fasting, prayer and worship, opportunities to share my faith would be plentiful.  Like losing weight, the only remaining question is, do you have the discipline and will power to change.  The apostle Paul went to extreme measures to insure a Christ-like behavior in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.  Therefore, if a slump resides in your soul, struggling to find meaning and purpose in life, why not apply Psalm 150:6.  Maybe this is the only thing preventing you from getting over the hump.  May this be the last piece you are searching for.

by Jay Mankus

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10 Reasons Why Writers Should Continue to Blog

Posted on February 13, 2013 by expressyourself4him

To celebrate Express Yourself 4Him’s one year anniversary, I have created my first top ten list.  Similar to a David Letterman countdown from 10-1, I will examine what expires me each morning to get up and write.  May this list inspire a new generation of bloggers.

10) Blogging provides writers with a historical time line of their life.  You can go back to any day in a previous year to review what you were thinking, what happened in the world on that day and what you learned about life.

9) Blogging connects your opinion with other like minded people.  Often, people share similar beliefs, but they don’t have the time to voice their opinions.  Thus, blogging affirms that other people share similar convictions with you.

8) Blogging gives you an opportunity to share what’s on your heart.  The fast pace of life on the East Coast makes it tough to slow down.  Blogging provides an avenue to share what your heart is touched by and relax daily for a little while.

7) Blogging creates networking opportunities through E-Traffic.  As individuals comment on pieces you write, I have been able to visit their blogs, join their sites and begin corresponding with people who share common values.  In particular, I have been blessed by TR&B SHOCKLEY’S, It’s a God Thing, Mere Inkling, Morning Story & Dilbert and Candy Coated Reality in 2012.  Thanks for writing!

6) Blogging helps individuals verbalize their worldview through words.  In a world filled with chaos, its vital for people to discern what’s really going on, articulate their beliefs and help others understand the American culture.

5) Blogging offers an arena for instant feedback.  After a slow start, I have received nearly 250 approved comments this past year, one in German that I had my wife translate.  Besides hearing from complete strangers, Word Press keeps track of your most popular blogs along with each individual message.

4) Blogging instills a discipline for writing.  If you are able to do what you love without pay, then this is a sign that writing may be something you want to pursue.  However, even during cases of writer’s block, blogging forces you to piece together a blog worthy of reading.

3) Blogging presents you with a stage to get noticed.  Since I began last February, I have had 2 people from Hollywood comment on my blog.  While it’s a long shot, I am holding out hope for my screen writing of Express Yourself.

2) Blogging serves as a vehicle for healing.  If I didn’t lose my teaching position of 10 years last January, I would probably not have a Facebook account or Word Press blog.  However, as I have endured the anguish, disappointment and frustration of unemployment, God has used writing as a vessel for healing.

1) Blogging satisfies and soothes your soul.  The sense of accomplishment I receive from writing blogs is amazing.  Even when I don’t gain any attention from what I believe to be a great blog, I feel as if by addressing specific topics I am fulfilling God’s will for my life on that particular day.

Thanks for all of you who supported Express Yourself 4Him in 2012!

by Jay Mankus

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