Tag Archives: writing

Never Satisfied

Posted on March 19, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Back in January, days before my sledding accident, I had planned on giving up watching television during Lent. I was going through one of those phases in life where I sought to make history, not watch it happen. Thus, I pressed on to complete the writing on my second movie script, Behind the Devil’s Door.  Everything was moving forward as schedule until that one fateful day, January 29th.

My initial rib injury prevented me from sleeping more than an hour or so at a time, leaving me exhausted, unable to receive the rest I needed.  Ten days later, the force of a sneeze at work altered the blood flow of my internal bleeding, unknown to me, leading to several weeks of bed rest after a 4 day visit to the hospital.  Distraught, I took the advice of a relative who suggested to relax and enjoy the 2014 Winter Olympics which had just begun.  Beside listening to music, reading and writing, I didn’t have many options stuck in my downstairs recliner to avoid steps.

I don’t care if you have 1000 channels to observe daily, sooner or later you’ll be bored out of your mind, never fully satisfied by the entertainment on the big screen.  As a relatively active person, staying idle at home left me craving something more meaningful in life.  After watching the entire first season of Joan of Arcadia, I became restless longing for traces of God in Hollywood, but I was left disappointed.  To fill this void, I won’t be satisfied until the vision God has given me for my second script is complete, Philippians 1:6.

What vision or dream has God given you? Please leave a comment.

by Jay Mankus
        

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Not The Ending I Envisioned

Posted on March 2, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Gary Sinise played Lieutenant Dan, a Vietnam squadron leader who holds a grudge against Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, feeling that his destiny was stolen by Gump’s heroic efforts.   Lieutenant Dan believed he was meant to die with his army on the battle field.  Thus, he confronts Forrest, turns to alcohol to drown his sorrow, spending the rest of his life bound to a wheelchair, at least in his mind.

Meanwhile, all Forrest wanted was to be Jenny’s girl, his only friend growing up.  Wherever Forrest was, he thought of Jenny, writing letter after letter, hoping for a storybook ending.  Unfortunately, Forrest received these letters back, returned unopened.  After momma died, Forrest turned to running to clear his mind, tracking thousands of miles across the country.  Despite getting his girl, she dies of H.I.V. before they can grow old together.

Whether you are reading a book, watching a movie or living an act from your life, often the scene doesn’t conclude as you wish.  Instead, the curse of Genesis 3:16-19 provides an alternate ending such as death, paralysis or suicide.  Today, I feel like Lieutenant Dan in the shrimp boat during Hurricane Camille.  However, I’m not telling God “is that all you’ve got?”  Rather, I’ve surrendered, whispering “I can’t take anymore disappointment!”

Psalm 33:10-11 provides the answer to those befuddled by the direction their life has turned.  The Lord foils the plans of nation and thwarts the purposes of people.  I have become a causality of this truth, unable to comprehend the logic of God’s ways.  Yet, somewhere in the pages the promise of Jeremiah 29:11 exists.  Getting to this scene and waiting is the hardest part.  May God’s unfailing love rest on you as you trust the Lord to complete the work that He has begun in you, Philippians 1:6.

by Jay Mankus

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How Bad Do You Really Want It?

Posted on February 17, 2014 by expressyourself4him

If I had to take an honest assessment of my goals in life  and compare this with how I actually spend my time, my actions display a lack of hunger to make my American Dream a reality.  While playing on a  Florida mini-tour in 1995, I met several individuals who were willing to risk everything, sacrificing food, shelter and wants to one day make the P.G.A. Tour.  Clearly, they wanted it more than me as some ate peanut butter and jelly 3 times a day, 7 days a week, a few lived in their cars and many more worked the night shift so they could play in golf tournaments during the day.  In essence, I’m the only one to blame for not fulfilling this desire of my heart.

Cover Photo

Nearly 20 years later, I not willing to let another dream slip through my hands.  Back in the late 90’s, I had a 45 minute phone conversation with Max Lucado’s editor, set up by a mutual friend who owned a Christian Bookstore.  At the time, I was a freelance writer trying to break through, asking as many questions as possible without being rude.  Two of his statements serve as a glimmer of hope for this amateur author: “If you want to get noticed, the average professional writes full time for 7 years before getting paid or if you can only afford to do this part time, you must be willing to invest 15 years of your life.”  Over the past 3 years, I am in the process of paying my dues, with over 700 daily articles, 1 complete 90 minute movie script and currently a third of the way through my first book called Behind the Devil’s Door.  Though I could probably devote more time to writing each week, this time around the block I want it more than ever.

In Psalm 27:4, King David asks a similar question, but from a spiritual perspective: “How badly do you want to spend time with God?”  Are you happy with your current relationship or are holding back, not ready to commit fully to the Lord?  Based upon verses 1-3, if you are afraid, faithless or weak, you’re likely missing essential pieces.  What’s holding you back, keeping you from experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirit daily?  Perhaps you don’t want God as bad as He longs to be with you, Luke 15:20.  May the words of Matthew 6:33-34 provide the assurance you need to re-prioritize your life as soon as possible.  While every human feels the pain of unfulfilled dreams, I pray that gazing upon the beauty of the Lord will transform your perspective on life.  Your actions in the days that follow will answer the question, how bad do you really want it?

by Jay Mankus

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That’s Nice… But I’ve Heard That Before

Posted on January 10, 2014 by expressyourself4him

As I was cleaning today, I uncovered an old Concord High Yearbook sitting on the floor.  Last fall, my best friend from high school, Carl, came to Delaware to visit his parents for a week.  Catching up and reminiscing about our last high school reunion, I fetched my senior yearbook to put a face with all the names which came up.  I’m not sure what it is, but the older I get, the more I repeat myself, sharing the same story annually with my wife and kids.  As gracious as possible, I hear that apt reply, “That’s nice, but I’ve heard that before.”

From a writer’s perspective, there is nothing new under the sun, Ecclesiastes 1:9.  When you’ve spent 3 years as an editor of a monthly newsletter and 2 more as the main contributor of this blog, some days you struggle to compose a paragraph let alone an entire piece.  However, as I opened my yearbook, I had forgotten who I was, what I had accomplished and how  a simple smile made an impact on my peers.  The perfectionist in me never allowed me to accept and embrace compliments.  Thus, these words were discarded, replaced by my lack of eloquence, stuttering and other deficiency’s.

This pessimism began to change for me in college during a Group service project on St. John’s Island in South Carolina.  To my surprise, everyone in attendance received their own mailbox, near the center of our living quarters at a local high school.  However, this mail was called Care Cards, a chance for others to write notes of encouragement and thanks to those who made a positive influence at some point during the day and week.  The catch was you couldn’t open your mail bag until you got on your bus before leaving.  I was so touched by this concept I incorporated it into my own mission trips when I became a youth pastor following college.  Like my yearbook, every few years I will stumble across old mail bags, bringing tears to my eyes and joy to my soul as I savor these fond memories.

From a biblical perspective, Israel’s memory was so poor, God called Moses to devote an entire book called Deuteronomy, the second law, reminding the Jews of everything they had forgotten.  Although retention varies among children and adults today, modern pastors recycle famous words of Jesus, the apostle Paul, and Peter to refresh the memories of lost souls.  While some in church may whisper, “That’s nice, but I’ve heard that before,” someone in attendance may be hearing this truth for the first time.  Therefore, be patient if someone tends to be redundant, for someone likely needs a reminder of promises within the Bible like John 3:16.

by Jay Mankus

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Making An Emotional Connection

Posted on January 5, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Whether its a person, place or thing, when you make an emotional connection, experience a breath taking view or recognize an unique talent, a special place opens up in your heart.  I can recall moments in life when I went to a conference, attended a retreat or met someone on vacation that I never knew, yet an instant connection occurred.  Like twins separated from birth, a long lost cousin you never met or divine intervention, there are certain types of people who click with your personality.  Despite a lack of history, some aspect, character or trait unites 2 souls together, making an emotional connection.

Last January, my wife and I returned to the place of our honeymoon for the first time, Palm Springs, California.  Yes, any day as a newly wed is special, but the landscape of the desert, mountains and vegetation of this region became etched into my mind.  Whether you’re visiting Hidden Canyon in the Joshua Tree National Forest, taking the Aerial Tram to the top of the mountains overlooking Palm Springs or hiking along the trails in Indian Canyons, there is so much to do in this section of California.  One week isn’t enough to see the sights with golf destinations, shopping and of course the Salton Sea to explore.

Finally, if you are teachable, every now and then God will reveal to you a gift you never knew you had.  Periodically I dabbled into forms of writing beginning with poetry.  From here I moved on to song writing and short stories as well as trying to write articles for various publications.  While serving as a journalist for Travel Golf Media for 2 and a half years, I began to ponder my connection with writing.  What I’ve learned is that when I take the time to be still, reflect and put into words what you’ve feeling and thinking, a sense of peace fills your soul.  Thus, this emotional connection with writing continues to stir my heart, inspiring me to be a faithful writer for Express Yourself 4 Him.  May you encounter several good emotional connections in 2014.  Have a blessed day!

by Jay Mankus

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Hunting for God’s Will

Posted on August 5, 2013 by expressyourself4him

In the 1997 movie Good Will Hunting, Robin Williams plays a psychology professor struggling to accept his wife’s death.  When a colleague stumbles across a raw specimen, an orphan played by Matt Damon who is gifted in advanced Mathematics, Williams is called in as a last resort.  Williams reluctantly accepts this challenge, searching for the good within Will, beyond the layers of evil, heart break and frustration stuck inside this young man.

Despite being a juvenile, with a long rap sheet in and out of prison, Will recognizes his God given gift.  Thus, he becomes a janitor at Harvard, cleaning the hallways just outside of an Advanced Mathematics classroom.  Will even goes as far as completing a problem, left by a professor in the hallway, seeing if any one could solve it.  During a lunch with his girl friend played by Minnie Driver, Will comes to a ground breaking conclusion.  Curious about Will’s unusual love for Organic Chemistry, Matt Damon responds to Minnie’s question.  Comparing himself to Beethoven, he confesses, “I don’t know anything about music, but when I see math’s equations, I can just play.”

A few years ago, I assumed that I would remain a Bible teacher until my youngest daughter graduated high school.  Since being laid off, I have been hunting for God’s will the past 2 years.   Currently, I have several hours to think to myself at work, forcing me to reflect upon where I am.  In response to my search, I heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit, in a clear and direct reply this week, “you are a writing prophet.”  While I am not exactly sure what this means, I do feel a sense of peace knowing for the past 17 months I have been faithful to God’s calling.  Like Will in Good Will Hunting, I’m not exactly sure how or why I write what I do.  However, when I sit down in front of my computer, the power of the Holy Spirit takes over, leading me toward God’s will.  May this movie and my testimony inspire you to hunt for God’s will in your own life, Romans 12:2.

by Jay Mankus

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Writing in the Sand

Posted on March 30, 2013 by expressyourself4him

The idiom “caught with your hand in the cookie jar” is used when a person is caught doing something wrong.  Meanwhile, the phrase “caught red-handed” refers to being caught in the act of committing a misdemeanor, with the evidence there for all to see.  Either way you want to express or slice it, sooner or later everyone will be exposed as a sinner.  This is the situation you will find a woman, caught in the act of adultery in John 8:3.  Eager to follow the Law Moses commanded, the religious leaders are waiting on Jesus for final approval, to commence the stoning.

Seeing right through them, Jesus turns to an unusual but effective strategy, writing in the sand, John 8:6, 8.  Up to this point, Jesus had always followed a question with a question, not responding directly to the Pharisees and teachers of the law.  However, readers are left wondering, “what in the world did Jesus write in the ground with his finger?”  This debate continues today with suggestions of biblical laws, jotting down the thoughts of these leaders, secret sins each accuser had done or was in the process of committing.  Unfortunately, no one will know for sure until heaven, left to ponder what written words could have caused each Jew to drop their stone and leave the temple courts.

As Easter Sunday, 2013 draws near, you must remember Jesus’ spoken words to this woman, “Go now and leave your life of sin,” John 8:11.  Even if you have been caught with your hand in a cookie jar, there is redemption available to those humbled and sorry for their sin, John 3:16-17.  However, if you fail to leave your sin at the altar, relapse is almost assured, ruining Jesus’ sacrifice, Hebrews 10:26-27.  Thus, embrace Jesus’ writing in the sand, receive God’s faithfulness, 1 John 1:8 and flee from darkness by walking in the light, 1 John 2:6.

by Jay Mankus

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The Not-So Ultimate Gift

Posted on March 7, 2013 by expressyourself4him

One of my favorite movies of the last decade is The Ultimate Gift based upon Jim Stovall’s best selling book.  Completed in 2006, this movie centers around Jason Stevens, a pampered rich kid who never had to work a day in his life.  When his grandfather, Red Stevens dies, he is left with a series of 12 tasks called gifts.  Thinking riches are attached, Jason slowly begins to develop motivation to complete these assignments.  What Jason doesn’t realize, this wild goose chase ends up transforming his life from a spoiled brat into a responsible, self reliant man.

Unfortunately, I think I am living out this movie without any cameras, riches or progress.  My first assignment is the gift of unemployment which was bestowed upon me last February.  Inspired to complete a movie God placed in my mind, I spent hundreds of hours, often burning the midnight hour to finish a 90 page script.  A few temporary jobs later, rejection letters galore and daily road blocks, I am back where I started, faced with editing my script, redoing my resume and finding a permanent job.  Like the boy that cried wolf, Bill Murray in Groundhog Day and Jim Carrey in The Truman Show, each day I experience is a not so ultimate gift.

The only thought I can grasp is that maybe all the strange circumstances I have encountered will make a great book one day like Bill Murray’s cross country trek in Larger Than Life with an elephant.  Hollywood can’t make up all of my bizarre happenings I have experienced: an undetective defect in my resume, a demon possessed computer, dead cell phones, false prophet encounters, sure thing leads that don’t materialize and following visions from my dreams without any results.  Despite my complaining, its only been 15 months, a far cry from Israel wandering in the wilderness.  If David had to wait for several years to become king of Israel, I guess I can suck it up until my not-so ultimate gift becomes the gift of work.

by Jay Mankus

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10 Reasons Why Writers Should Continue to Blog

Posted on February 13, 2013 by expressyourself4him

To celebrate Express Yourself 4Him’s one year anniversary, I have created my first top ten list.  Similar to a David Letterman countdown from 10-1, I will examine what expires me each morning to get up and write.  May this list inspire a new generation of bloggers.

10) Blogging provides writers with a historical time line of their life.  You can go back to any day in a previous year to review what you were thinking, what happened in the world on that day and what you learned about life.

9) Blogging connects your opinion with other like minded people.  Often, people share similar beliefs, but they don’t have the time to voice their opinions.  Thus, blogging affirms that other people share similar convictions with you.

8) Blogging gives you an opportunity to share what’s on your heart.  The fast pace of life on the East Coast makes it tough to slow down.  Blogging provides an avenue to share what your heart is touched by and relax daily for a little while.

7) Blogging creates networking opportunities through E-Traffic.  As individuals comment on pieces you write, I have been able to visit their blogs, join their sites and begin corresponding with people who share common values.  In particular, I have been blessed by TR&B SHOCKLEY’S, It’s a God Thing, Mere Inkling, Morning Story & Dilbert and Candy Coated Reality in 2012.  Thanks for writing!

6) Blogging helps individuals verbalize their worldview through words.  In a world filled with chaos, its vital for people to discern what’s really going on, articulate their beliefs and help others understand the American culture.

5) Blogging offers an arena for instant feedback.  After a slow start, I have received nearly 250 approved comments this past year, one in German that I had my wife translate.  Besides hearing from complete strangers, Word Press keeps track of your most popular blogs along with each individual message.

4) Blogging instills a discipline for writing.  If you are able to do what you love without pay, then this is a sign that writing may be something you want to pursue.  However, even during cases of writer’s block, blogging forces you to piece together a blog worthy of reading.

3) Blogging presents you with a stage to get noticed.  Since I began last February, I have had 2 people from Hollywood comment on my blog.  While it’s a long shot, I am holding out hope for my screen writing of Express Yourself.

2) Blogging serves as a vehicle for healing.  If I didn’t lose my teaching position of 10 years last January, I would probably not have a Facebook account or Word Press blog.  However, as I have endured the anguish, disappointment and frustration of unemployment, God has used writing as a vessel for healing.

1) Blogging satisfies and soothes your soul.  The sense of accomplishment I receive from writing blogs is amazing.  Even when I don’t gain any attention from what I believe to be a great blog, I feel as if by addressing specific topics I am fulfilling God’s will for my life on that particular day.

Thanks for all of you who supported Express Yourself 4Him in 2012!

by Jay Mankus

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