Tag Archives: divorce

The Brady Bunch Generation

One might say Sherwood Schwartz was a pioneer, conceiving a sitcom for blended families well before society was willing to accept divorce.  Inspired by a 1965 column in the Los Angeles Times, Schwartz developed a vision for a show which took 3 girls and their mother played by Florence Henderson, joining them together with Robert Reed who had 3 boys of his own from a previous marriage.  When you add Alice, a live in maid staring Ann Davis, the Brady Bunch was born.  This suburban family related to average citizens, coping with the same struggles a parent, teenager and sibling face daily.  As shows like Little House on the Prairie became unrealistic, not achievable anymore, the Brady Bunch’s success led to 117 episodes from 1969-1974.

My favorite episode illustrates the battle which exists between brothers, Greg and Peter, who end up drawing a line down the middle of their room, attempting to distinguish who owned what.  Relying on emotions, not wisdom, their joint decision is not well thought out as Greg has complete control of the bathroom, yet only Peter has access to the hallway door.  Unfortunately, some people never mature, participating in ridiculous feuds over animals, children and possessions.  This moral decay continues today as a typical two parent family with one mom and one dad is now a minority, on the verge of becoming obsolete.  The Brady Bunch Generation has placed its stamp on American culture, embracing the imperfections so prevalent within mankind.

Genesis 31:1-2 reveals the beginning of a Brady Bunch like dispute between Laban and Jacob, whose name is later changed to Israel.  This tiff causes Jacob to flee without talking out his differences, like a child trying to run away from home in Genesis 31:17.  Laban pursues Jacob, eager to get things off his chest, Genesis 31:26.  Like a good solider, Jacob quietly waits for his turn to respond, beginning to rumble like a volcano ready to blow, Genesis 31:35-42.  Previously afraid of confrontation, Jacob releases his feelings which had been stored up for over 20 years.  Once both men had spoken their mind, this exchange sets the scene for an unique peace treaty in Genesis 31:43-55.  Instead of using tape to divide their territories, Laban and Jacob decide to use a heap of stones, creating a pillar.  This structure laid the boundary, similar to modern day property lines, agreeing not to intrude on the others’ life anymore.

This episode and biblical account reveal several great life lessons.  First, communication is crucial to maintaining peace with friends, family and neighbors.  Second, expressing your emotions allows you to let go of any grudge or resentment that you may have toward an individual.  Finally, when you bring other witnesses into your dispute, this serves as accountability down the road to prevent you from repeating the same mistake over again.  No one can ever achieve perfection, but if you give God your best, Matthew 5:48, He can make the rest of your days on earth like a story book ending, at least as good as life can get.

by Jay Mankus

How Can I Know For Sure?

An innocent child folds their hands in the dark, calling out to an invisible God, waiting for a reply.  As years go on, this teenager places a condition on their request, “if only my parents could get back together, then I will believe?”  Once college begins, this student is bombarded with Communism, Marxism and Political Correctness, pondering in the back of their minds, “how can I know sure, what is real and what is a facade?”

Like a locomotive, times steams down the tracks of life.  Adulthood brings responsibility, bills, more bills and potentially children.  This adult now wrestles with balance, questioning if they have done enough to provide for their family without neglecting their loved ones.  Before you know, times vanishes, leaving a glimpse of your glory days, pondering retirement and beyond.  Finally, on your death bed, as you breathe your last breaths on earth, you ask one more time, “how can I know for sure that God is real?”

This question was first asked by Abram in Genesis 15:8 as his life wasn’t working out as he had hoped or planned.  His wife Sarai had not be able to bear any children, he was nearing 80 and despite being able to talk to God face to face in the mountains, Abram still had doubt in the back of his mind.  The disciples had similar concerns in John 14:1-4, as Jesus reveals his plans to go ahead to heaven, preparing rooms for his followers.  Finally, the one whom Jesus loved, leaves one final piece of assurance.  The promise of 1 John 5:13 should provide the confidence you need as you fall asleep this evening in peace, knowing there is a God and you can spend eternity with Him, Romans 10:9-10.

by Jay Mankus

A Forgiving God

Words like “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget” tend to permeate throughout modern Hollywood productions.  This mindset has led many to adopt similar attitudes, especially toward those who have broken or crushed their heart.  When forgiveness is absent, nastiness within the human soul rears its ugly head.  As a result, bitterness, divorce and hatred have taken center stage in America.

Unless you hear or read it for yourself, Romans 10:17, memories quickly forget the presence of a forgiving God.  Although sin does not go unpunished, Psalm 99:8 provides water for a thirsty soul seeking to shed spirits of guilt, remorse and shame.  Tattered and weary individuals are crying out for a fresh start, hoping for a clean slate, erasing the pain of the past, Psalm 103:11-12.

Often, the only person standing in the way of forgiveness is yourself.  Speaking from experience, beating yourself up internally only benefits the devil who wants to keep you distracted, Matthew 6:15.  Therefore, remember the compassion of the Lord, spreading the great news of a forgiving God, Lamentations 3:17-23.  Once you accept this truth, hope will plant a seed of  belief which can provide a spiritual root system to carry you through the storms of life!

by Jay Mankus

Caught in the Middle

Children can become casualties of war, caught in the middle of their parent’s divorce.  As a teacher, I’ve seen this far too often, with kids used as pawns to make the other spouse jealous.  Maybe this explains Jesus’ tone within Matthew 18:1-9, a warning to all adults to insure their actions do not lead a little one astray.

As a friend, its not uncommon to be caught in the middle of infighting.  Gossip, slander and half truths are the usual suspects, aimed at swaying you to their side of the argument.  Unfortunately, playing favorites is easy to fall prey to, something the pagans of Jesus’ day indulged, Matthew 5:46-47.  Yet, God expects Christians to possess higher standards, Matthew 5:48, striving for perfection in Christ, Philippians 4:13.

Casting Crowns addresses this issue in their song Somewhere in the Middle.  From their The Altar and the Door album, Casting Crowns sings about the ongoing tug of war that exists within each soul.  The disciple Peter and the author of Hebrews highlight this dilemma of being in the world, 1 Peter 2:11-12, yet called to look beyond this present world, Hebrews 12:1-2.  Thus, as you find yourself caught in the middle of right and wrong, remember the apostle Paul’s words in Romans 12:1-2 so that you will conform to God’s ways!

by Jay Mankus

Cracked Mirrors

Before the popular video game, Halo was actually a Christian Metal band from Alabama, named after the acronym Heavenly Angelic Light Orchestra.  Relatively unknown for a decade touring in the south, Halo received national attention in 1991 with their song entitled My Buddy.  This songs illustrates how a son seeks to emulate their father like a mirror.

My buddy sees believing
my buddy sees before
and my buddy is a mirror
hanging on the wall
my buddy sees beside him
and my buddy hears the talk
and my buddy will see Jesus
lead me as i walk

(2nd stanza)

Unfortunately, what children often hear and see from their parents is life altering.   Abuse, abandonment, affairs and hypocrisy are just a few factors which have left cracked mirrors for children to put back together.  According to The Gospel Coalition, divorce rates among Christian families vary depending upon an individual’s dedication to God.  Among those families most devoted to Christ, divorces rates are roughly 20%.  On the other hand, those who relationships with Jesus waver, divorce rates can approach 60%.  According to a former Liberty University case study, the families that pray together stay together with 1 out every 1,024 praying couples divorcing.

Although this number is encouraging, cracked mirrors are swaying high school students to abandon their faith in college.  Several studies are revealing 60% of evangelical students put their faith on hold while attending college and nearly 50% never return to church following graduation.  When parents, myself included, send a mixed message to our children, living a fully devoted life for Jesus doesn’t appear or seem worth their time or energy.  The apostle Paul provides a solution for these shattered mirrors in 1 Corinthians 13:11-12.  Parents must begin to put aside their childish ways and begin to act like mature followers of Christ, Ephesians 5:1-2.  Jesus is the glue which can restore our cracked mirrors.

by Jay Mankus

Missing Ingredients in Modern Marriages

Back in the 1970’s, divorce was rare, something that happened only as a result of extreme circumstances.  In fact, to the best of my recollection, the Roman Catholic Church threatened couples with excommunication if this option ever crossed their mind.  The King James Version of the Bible does not use the term reputation as our culture does today.  Instead, King Solomon encouraged people make a good name for themselves, Proverbs 22:1, to develop a good repute in their community.

In a typical wedding ceremony, there is a portion devoted to vows.  Some creative couples write their own, others follow the traditions of their denomination and most simply repeat vows first spoken by a pastor or priest.  Ecclesiastes 5:4-7 warn individuals to take their vows serious, especially ones which include “for better or for worse.”  Yet, mere words don’t hold a marriage together.  Rather, one of the missing ingredients in modern marriages is a will to love once feelings fade.

With this in mind, one of the commands Solomon gave his son is detailed in Proverbs 3:3.  Let love and faithfulness never leave you is a joint command, not to be separated.  In the New Testament, 1 Corinthians 13 is one of most popular passages read out loud during marriage ceremonies.  The original translation uses the term charity in place of love.  Thus, Solomon is introducing a concept to demonstrate charity faithfully.

The last portion of Proverbs 3:3 explains how one must carry out this command.  The term bind means to knit together, joining two pieces into one.  When a person fastens love and faithfulness to their neck, its always in their peripheral vision.  However, this still isn’t enough to save marriage.  Therefore, Solomon adds one further instruction to insure love and faithfulness endures.  If you enter, engrave or mark something mentally to remain in your heart, a will to love is born.  Follow the words of Proverbs 3:5-6 to complete these essential ingredients for a life long relationship.

by Jay Mankus