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Tag Archives: forgive and forget

The Enemy of Depth

Anyone who lives in a city, endures a long commute or works in a fast paced environment understands the cramp time places on relationships.  I have allowed this barrier to prevent me from developing deep and meaningful relationships.  Distracted by where I need to go and what I need to do next often leaves me feeling distant from those that I care about.  Unfortunately, as someone who always seems to be in a hurry, impatience has become the enemy of depth.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, 1 Corinthians 13:4.

The opposite of depth is those who suffer from relationship fatigue.  This state occurs when associates, co-workers or friends become too intense, like a leech that sticks to you and won’t let go.  When imperfections, quirks and social warts of individuals wear on your soul, any desire for intimacy fades away.  Thus, any close ties that you might have developed in the past soon dissipate as well.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, 1 Corinthians 13:5.

Sadly, other relationships that you may have hoped to nourish over  time never amount to anything due to fear.  Possibly thinking about prior failed friendships, there is a tendency to avoid becoming too close to someone, afraid the bond that you share will be broken.  In the passages above, the apostle Paul attempts to illustrate what love looks like.  When people begin to forgive and forget, your slate of past wrongs is wiped clean.  Yet, until you emulate the character traits of love, depth will continue to be an enemy.

by Jay Mankus

Forgiveness is a Lovely Idea Until You Have to Forgive

Happy Days was one of my favorite shows as a child, running for a decade on ABC.  Like any boy, Ron Howard as Richie Cunningham and Henry Winkler, the Fonz, were my two favorite characters.  This show about the life of teenagers at their favorite hangout, Arnolds, captivated my attention.  However, one of the things I remember the most is Fonzie’s inability to say sorry or admit he was wrong as depicted in the attached you tube.

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses,” Mark 11:25.

Not much has changed in the past 25 years since this show went off the air.  Following in the footsteps of Adam and Eve, people prefer to play the blame game rather than take responsibility for wrong actions.  Meanwhile, justification, rationalization or playing the victim card has become normal behavior.  While everyone demands justice when you have been wronged, “forgiveness is a lovely idea until you have to forgive someone else.”  This quote by C.S. Lewis applies today, especially in the context of relationships.

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive, Colossians 3:13.

The apostle Paul calls individuals to bear with one another.  This urging involves patience, a quality that few adults possess.  Thus, forgiveness can get messy, full of emotion, frustration and tears.  Yet, if you want forgiveness to flow back to you, God demands that you forgive others as Jesus forgave you.  Therefore, despite how unpleasant it may be for you to care for, forgive and love, the act of forgiveness is essential toward securing your eternal destiny, Matthew 6:14-15.  May this blog inspire you to emulate Christ as you strive to forgive and forget.

by Jay Mankus

The Greatest Virtue

As adolescents become adults, its easy to become jaded, scarred by hurtful individuals who tear others down.  In additional, certain personalities do not mesh, resulting in irritation as well as uncomfortable moments.  Throw in those hungry for control or power and you will find hearts hesitant to forgive.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, Matthew 6:14.

At the conclusion of the Lord’s Prayer, also known as the Our Father, Jesus introduces the reciprocal aspect of forgiveness.  According to the two verses that follow, forgiveness is not received unless it is first extended to others.  Similar to the Sowing Principle, you reap what you sow, forgiveness is conditional based upon the degree in which you forgive and forget the transgressions of others.

But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins, Matthew 6:15.

This perspective of forgiveness makes it one of the greatest virtues.  However, a lack of forgiveness can make it one of the most dangerous, resulting in eternal damnation.  Coping and dealing with personalities that rub you the wrong way can be excruciating, requiring extra grace to those annoying souls you encounter.  Yet, as the apostle Paul states in Colossians 3:12-14, the key to forgiveness is loving others as Christ loved us.  Therefore, ask God for a new heart, willing to forgive, forget and treat others as you want to be treated.

by Jay Mankus

A Forgiving God

Words like “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget” tend to permeate throughout modern Hollywood productions.  This mindset has led many to adopt similar attitudes, especially toward those who have broken or crushed their heart.  When forgiveness is absent, nastiness within the human soul rears its ugly head.  As a result, bitterness, divorce and hatred have taken center stage in America.

Unless you hear or read it for yourself, Romans 10:17, memories quickly forget the presence of a forgiving God.  Although sin does not go unpunished, Psalm 99:8 provides water for a thirsty soul seeking to shed spirits of guilt, remorse and shame.  Tattered and weary individuals are crying out for a fresh start, hoping for a clean slate, erasing the pain of the past, Psalm 103:11-12.

Often, the only person standing in the way of forgiveness is yourself.  Speaking from experience, beating yourself up internally only benefits the devil who wants to keep you distracted, Matthew 6:15.  Therefore, remember the compassion of the Lord, spreading the great news of a forgiving God, Lamentations 3:17-23.  Once you accept this truth, hope will plant a seed of  belief which can provide a spiritual root system to carry you through the storms of life!

by Jay Mankus

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