Tag Archives: self-control

Don’t Make a Big Deal About It

Posted on January 10, 2017 by expressyourself4him

In this current age of social media, immediate reactions and thoughts are often broadcast to the world to read.  However, now with the recent addition of Facebook Live, individuals can stream video live that is unfiltered.  When some try to attain 15 seconds of fame like the 4 teenagers in Chicago, that which was meant for good can be corrupted by an axis of evil.

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings, Proverbs 25:2.

During times of uncertainty, people tend to seek out advice, guidance or wisdom to figure out what to do next.  2 Kings 18-20 details the reign of Hezekiah, the king of Judah.  Described as one of the godliest leaders in the Bible, Hezekiah wasn’t satisfied with the pieces of the Old Testament he had access to, seeking out previous writings of Solomon.  One of the suggestions Hezekiah discovered was when something occurs, try not to make a big deal about this.

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense, Proverbs 19:11.

To extract what Solomon means by the phrase “conceal a matter,” you have to go back a few chapters to understand the true meaning.  Based upon the context of chapter 19, the intent refers to avoid over-reacting.  In the heat of the moment, human nature tempts people to retaliate.  Yet, those who practice self-control by restraining your emotions, it is to God’s glory.

by Jay Mankus

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Merry ???

Posted on December 22, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Earlier in the week I went Christmas shopping for my wife.  Due to the nature of the gift, I was forced to rely on the expertise of sales associates.  After finding two similar items, I wanted to know which would be the best purchase for the long haul.  When I was finally convinced on the best brand name to buy, I approached the check out counter.  On my way out, I replied, “Merry Christmas,” that was followed by an awkward silence.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control, 2 Timothy 1:7.

Sometime in the last few decades, Christians have become afraid of offending other people of faith.  Due to political correctness, retailers are now training new staff to avoid expressing specific phrases or words.  Subsequently, Merry Christmas has become like cheap greeting cards, X’ed out and replaced with Happy Holidays.  It’s no wonder that this cashier was uneasy, not sure how to respond to my seasonal greeting.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love, 1 John 4:18.

The apostle Paul witnessed a spirit of timidity in his day.  When persecution broke out against the early church, fear consumed many believers.  This environment initially hampered the growth of the Way as described in the book of Acts.  Yet, as soon as fear was replaced by the love of Christ, the tides began to turn.  May this wave of the Holy Spirit arrive on the scene today to inspire people to share two special words, “Merry Christmas.”

by Jay Mankus

 

 

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Escaping Calamity

Posted on December 20, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Typically, the term calamity occurs in a negative manner.  However,  Martha Jane Canary was the exception to this rule, developing the nickname of Calamity Jane.  Making a name as a dare devil in the late 1800’s, Jane joined Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show.  This new name stuck and transformed her reputation from a professional scout to a woman who showed compassion to the poor.

Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity, Proverbs 21:23.

According to King Solomon, possessing strong opinions can be dangerous.  Some individuals tend to talk to much and others spit venomous words from within their mouths.  Subsequently, those who do not practice self-control will reap calamity upon themselves.  Anyone who talks all the time will try the patience of those who listen.  Meanwhile, people who apply an unfiltered tongue will make enemies along the way, causing listeners to react often in revenge.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things, Philippians 4:8.

The apostle Paul provides a blue print for escaping calamity.  The choice is simple, stay positive and turn enemies into friends by using uplifting words.  However, this must not be contrived or fake.  Rather, when you have a chance to encourage someone, be genuine and real.  When others around you try to put fuel on the fire with sarcasm or teasing, learn to control your tongue to escape calamity.  Or else calamity will find you, fulfilling the principle of you reap what you sow.

by Jay Mankus

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Right Back Where I Started

Posted on December 17, 2016 by expressyourself4him

About a year ago, I stood on a scale for the first time in a while.  Not believing the first number that appeared, I stepped off to reset it and tried once again.  Unfortunately, my weight remained the same, the heaviest I have ever been.  After the initial shock wore off, I vowed to dedicate 2016 to improving my overall health and fitness.

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls, Proverbs 25:28.

In January I lost 20 pounds, ecstatic by this early progress.  However, life is a marathon, not a sprint.  Perhaps, a little over confidence started subtle compromises, a regression back into bad habits.  I can’t identify the exact time when this downward spiral began, but my goals for the year faded from my memory.  Subsequently, I now find myself right back where I started.

Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, Titus 2:12.

Those fighting this losing battle are encouraged by the apostle Paul to renounce this vicious cycle.  Solomon compared a person without self-control to a broken city, vulnerable to outside attacks.  As the new year approaches, I have to pick myself up off the mat to turn my current health around.  I’m not sure how my daily routine will change, but I hope a clear vision appears as I prepare to fast for the month of January.  Until then, seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness to avoid giving into temptation.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

 

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A New Type of Addiction

Posted on July 31, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Cravings, dependence and enslavement are all terms associated with addiction.  This invisible struggle tends to go unnoticed.  Initial signs are subtle as souls wrestle with self-control prior to patterns being revealed.  In the context of alcohol and drugs, actions, behavior and obsessions become obvious over time.  Unfortunately, until individuals come to grips with their losing battle, conditions will continue on a downward spiral.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God, Colossians 3:1.

Last weekend I had lunch just north of Amish country.  After picking up my kids from their week long camp, I wanted to spend some time together learning of their experience.  Hoping to get a flavor of Lancaster County, my son chose a diner with several cars in the parking lot.  To my surprise many of the customers were busy playing Pokemon Go on their phones.  This popular app’s success is a sign of a new type of addiction.

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things, Colossians 3:2.

Recreation serves as a vehicle to revitalize souls.  However, when individuals become captivated with what’s on their phones, hearts and minds become weakened.  Hobbies are a good and fun way to pass time.  Yet, as people become attached and hooked to their phones or tablets, unhealthy patterns form.  The concept of being still before the Lord is replaced by a new type of addiction to technology.  May those distracted by these modern devises reflect upon the apostle Paul’s words and be moved to fix their hearts and minds on eternal things.

by Jay Mankus

 

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Why the World is Falling Apart

Posted on June 29, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Gone are the days of Wilbur Wilberforce, when politicians did the right thing without taking a poll, trying to get re-elected or win public approval.  In an attempt to get ahead, integrity has been swept under the rug, trampled by greed, power and souls seeking victory whatever the cost.  Lurking in the darkness, the reason for this decline lies in John 8:34.

Slavery, a grave reminder of the past, is alive and well inside the heart’s of human beings.  Although mankind think they are in control, sin is large and in charge, holding individuals captive, Romans 7:14-20.  Perhaps this truth led the apostle Paul, one of the godliest men to ever live to claim he was one of the greatest sinners ever, 1 Timothy 1:15.  If you had to diagnosis why the world is falling apart, sin is a prime suspect.

Discipline, good intentions and self-control may appear to be full proof, but in the end its like fool’s gold.  Subsequently, the grasp of sin prevents countless from doing the right thing, Romans 8:5-8, something Paul knew from personal experience.  Until people acknowledge the reality of their soul, a sinner in desperate need of a Savior, John 3:3-5, the world will continue its downward spiral.  May the Lord help put people back together, one soul at a time, Luke 15:7.

by Jay Mankus

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Tongues of Ruin

Posted on May 29, 2014 by expressyourself4him

With the rash of individuals sharing their controversial opinions in the media, tongues are ruining the lives of once prominent Americans.  Donald Sterling isn’t the first or last to do so as Jimmy the Greek’s of today have been shown the door, with bosses caving into peer pressure from sponsors and civil rights groups to fire anyone who is politically incorrect.  Unfortunately, these souls didn’t listen to mothers who proclaimed, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it!”

I guess you can say the old adage applies, “you’re your own worst enemy.”  By opening your mouth at the wrong place or the wrong time, you might be the next Riley Cooper, caught on video with a racial slur.  Whether its alcohol, anger or impatience, the mouth is full of poison waiting for the right trigger to explode, James 3:5.  Without zipping your lip or shutting your trap, ruin will fall on those who don’t practice prudence and temperance.

According to King David, God will allow tongues to destroy anyone who plots injustice in their hearts and minds, Psalm 64:6.  Despite the cunning schemes of mankind, the Lord will let human beings destroy themselves with their words, Psalm 64:7-8.  God will have the last laugh when tongues of ruin will bring about justice.  The next time you have an urge to gossip, slander or trash someone’s reputation, remember David’s warning by practicing self-control.  If you don’t, you might make the grapevine for the wrong reason.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

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Something to Talk About

Posted on May 6, 2014 by expressyourself4him

As a former member of the print media for 2 years, I’m familiar with some of the tricks of this trade.  When I was given an assignment for a new piece, I usually started to ask probing questions to uncover someone’s hot button issue.  Once you discover this subject or topic, the best thing you can do is just let them talk.  Unless you were detached from the media, most Americans learned last week that Donald Sterling, owner of the NBA’s Los Angeles Clippers has a history of racism.

Whether his taped conversation was legal in California or not, the more Sterling spoke, the clearer his racist tendencies became.  According to the Bible, the fool does not demonstrate restraint, often thinking out loud.  Meanwhile, the prudent illustrate self control, holding their tongue, Proverbs 17:27-28.  In this age of instant messages, photo bombs and twitter, filters are disappearing as people are wearing emotions on their sleeves.  As members of society open their mouths, bystanders are hearing what it stored up in the hearts of mankind, Luke 6:45.

Despite the School House Rock campaign using Saturday morning advertisements to proclaim this country as, “the great American melting pot” in the 1970’s,  this country was mostly segregated until the 1980’s.  Thus, blacks and whites did not know, understand or want to stand hand and hand unless forced as displayed in Remember the Titans.  However, progress is being made as a generation is growing up, striving to see others by the content of their character, not the color of their skin.  While ambulance chasers in the media continue to kick the Donald Sterling’s in life while they’re down, just listen to their words for they like Sterling will expose who they really are or what they want.  Just let them talk…

by Jay Mankus

 

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Despite How You Really Feel…

Posted on March 9, 2014 by expressyourself4him

In an age of lawlessness, feelings can conceive acts of violence.  Whether its road rage, disputes between neighbors or workplace tensions, feelings provide individuals with an excuse for their behavior.  Perhaps, this may explain Jesus’ harsh words in Matthew 5:21-26, comparing hatred with murder.  Thus, if you sense anger beginning to consume your soul, think twice before giving into these desires.

King David provides a guideline for anyone who reaches a tipping point, as their feelings boil over.  Psalm 35:13-14 displays the right way to respond to mistreatment from others.  Despite how you really feel, there is a proper way to react to those in need, whether you like them or not.  Essentially, David is illustrating a blue print of loving your neighbor as yourself, Matthew 22:39.

A generation ago, most American parents held a common value, relayed to their children weekly, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it!”  Adults in the neighborhood weren’t afraid to discipline other kids on the block, correcting anyone who crossed the line of morality.  Today, lawsuits, moral decay and a rejection of God has led many to follow their feelings.  Yet, if you want to do what is right, remember the words of Micah 6:8, “act justly, love mercy and humbly walk with God.”

by Jay Mankus

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When You’re Hot… Shut Your Mouth!

Posted on July 25, 2013 by expressyourself4him

Whether you speak, tweet or text, I’m sure everyone wishes they could take their words back on occasion.  In the heat of the moment, if the wrong button is pushed, you can snap.  The venom behind these outbursts are often regretful, expressing your true feelings without any restraint.  The best advice when you are hot under the collar is to shut your mouth or trap depending upon the figure of speech you heard as a child.

Mom’s were right to suggest, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it!”  If only Noah could take his words back in Genesis 9:24-25, cursing Ham, one of his 3 sons.  After magnifying an embarrassing situation, Noah flipped out on Ham, possibly still under the influence of alcohol.  As a result of this word curse in Genesis 9:25, the descendants of Ham turn out to be the first inhabitants of Nineveh, Philistine, Sodom and Gomorrah.  What a motley crew as evil begot evil.

However, what if Noah settled down before talking to his son?  Maybe the eternal destinations of these citizens would be different.  Unfortunately, Ham did not receive his father’s blessing like his 2 two brothers.  Becoming the black sheep of the family, this resentment was likely passed on in the form of a generational curse, Exodus 20:5, leading to a root of bitterness.  Gary Smalley and John Trent write about the power of words in their book The Gift of the Blessing.  One the greatest things a father can do in life is passing on to their blessing to each child.  Yet, when anger interferes, one must careful not to allow emotion to impact what you say.  Follow the words of Jesus’ little brother in James 1:26 so that the next time you are hot, you will shut your mouth, avoiding the legacy that Noah left behind for Ham.

by Jay Mankus

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