Tag Archives: disappointment

Escaping the Dungeon of Doubt

Although their initial origin is disputed, the word dungeon is likely derived from the Frankish term dungjo, referring to a vault, a concealed and hidden space.  By the 14th century, the English developed underground prisons within their castles also known as oubliettes due to their typical shape and design.  According to Genesis 41:14, prisoners went without bathing or shaving, stuck in a living hell hole on earth.  In Joseph’s case, he was waiting on God for more than 2 years to set him free.

Today, these man made structures have been replaced by an invisible pit, deep inside the human soul.  Formed by doubt, this dungeon is like a haunted house, creepy, dark and void of hope.  When an individual appears to be reaching the top of this hole, disbelief and skepticism often hinder progress as the ruler of the air, Ephesians 2:2, maintains his grip, holding a saint in bondage for yet another day, Ephesians 6:12.  While self conceit and doubt wrestle for control, a life filled with disappointment serves as dark clouds, blocking any rays of optimism, paralyzing a believer from fully escaping.

Like a patient receiving medical attention, nightmares, scars and seeds of doubt linger after your release.  The human mind serves as a sponge, absorbing the trauma you have endured, playing tricks on you once freed from the devil’s talons.  Thus, one needs a spiritual reboot, cleansing all the viruses you have been infected by through the word of God, Colossians 2:6-8.  The Bible presents people with truth serum, replacing doubt with faith, Romans 10:17.  While not fully healed until heaven, Psalm 119:105 introduces curious onlookers to the only full proof escape route from the dungeon of doubt.

by Jay Mankus

Just Once Lord

In 1981, James Ingram provided the vocals for the song Just Once on Quincy Jones’ album entitled The Dude.  This song appeared in many movies during the 1980’s, often portraying heart break to close out a scene.  The context of these lyrics reveal just how fragile earthly relationships are, falling apart over the course of time.  However, indirectly, this song also touches on several biblical truths about mankind’s severed connection with God.

“Just Once” lyrics in BOLD print.

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn’t good enough

According to the Bible, there is nobody good enough, not even one, Romans 3:9-12.  Thus, no matter how hard I or you try to be good, it’s impossible not to sin.   Whatever good intentions you might have as you get up each and every day will fade when anger, disappointment or frustration comes your direction.

Cause here we are
Back where we were before
Seems nothin’ ever changes
We’re back to being strangers

The conception of sin has alienated individuals from God, banished from God’s presence just like Adam and Eve in Genesis 3:23-24.  This separation is what the Bible refers to as spiritual darkness, like Nicodemus in John 3:1-9, blind to the spiritual reality Jesus was trying to communicate.
Wondering if we ought to stay
Or head on out the door

For 10 years as a Bible teacher, I heard students ask, “why has God abandoned me?”  While I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer each person with gentleness and respect, most leave God, not vice versa.  The devil uses bitterness to shift the blame toward God, not themselves.

Just once…

Can’t we figure out what we keep doin’ wrong                                                                                                                                                   Why we never last for very long
What are we doin’ wrong
Just once…

The apostle Paul illustrates a similar struggle in Romans 7:15-17.  Until he added Jesus into this equation, Paul kept committing the same mistakes, over and over again.

Can’t we find a way to finally make it right
To make the magic last for more than just one night

Humanly speaking, effort is not what most people lack.  The wages of sin result in the payment of death, Romans 6:23.  Although some call it magic, what Jesus did on the cross is a miracle, Colossians 2:13-15.

If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it
(Hmm hmmmm)

The only way to break through is by becoming born again, Galatians 2:20.  Any other attempts to enter God’s gates through another route will fail, John 10:7-10.

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
Cause Lord knows we’re not gettin’ anywhere
Seems we’re always blowin’
Whatever we’ve got goin’
And it seems at times with all we’ve got
We haven’t got a prayer

Whenever you pull a Hagar, by forcing a relationship without God’s assistance, Genesis 16:2, negatives consequences follow.  Just ask the Israelites, as Ishmael became the father of the Arab nation, which ultimately wants to destroy the Jews today.  However, with God, everything is possible, Matthew 19:26.  Therefore, Lord, just once, on this day, make your presence real to those searching for true meaning and a higher purpose in life.

by Jay Mankus

Blowing Off Steam

When I hear someone try to reenact an event, joke or story, its hard to capture or relive the moment.  This is where Genesis 22:3 falls between the cracks, often skipped over by those studying one of the most famous chapters of the Bible.  In the wee hours of the morning, doing the work of a servant, Abraham blows off steam, chopping wood, trying to contemplate the task God assigns him.

As I meditated on this passage, I am picturing an old man, 100 years old to be precise.  As he barely get’s the heavy axe over his head, Abraham begins to mutter to himself before splitting the logs located on the ground in two.  Using sarcasm, his conversation goes something like this.  “Let me get this straight God; You are telling me to sacrifice the son you promised my wife and I, the same one we waited more than 18 years to conceive, the one who is suppose to be the father of a great nation and now you want me, his father, to kill him?”  Abraham takes his frustration out on each log, fuming and mumbling to himself.

Meanwhile, I see one of the 2 servants awake tries to intervene.  “Master, are you sure you don’t want me to do this?”  Abraham replies with a raised whisper, “just get the camels and donkeys ready for our journey.  We will need enough food and water for 6 days, so do what I ask.”  Shaking his head, the servant makes one more comment before going on his way, “why don’t we just tell your wife?”  “Hush,” Abraham replies, “how can I tell her I am about to sacrifice her one and only son?  No, we leave in one hour, before sunrise.  I am almost finished here.”  Abraham, bends over for a moment, stretching his back, then perseveres using a full moon as light until he has chopped up enough wood for their journey to Mount Moriah.

Jacob wrestled with God, Moses stuttered in God’s presence and Abraham blew off steam by mentally preparing himself for the hardest test man could endure.  If this is bad enough, think about Genesis 22:7 as Isaac asks his father about the sacrifice.  Somewhere along this journey, Abraham came to one of 2 conclusions.  First, either God was going to super naturally intervene like He does in Genesis 22:13 or the concept or resurrection came to Abraham.  At this point, in this weak moment, God took over, similar to Paul’s experience in 2 Corinthians 12:7-12.  Therefore, don’t be afraid to blow off steam, vent your disappointment with God or challenge God’s will for your life.  When you reach the point of total surrender, the Lord will unveil a miracle in your life.  However, at first, you must let go, Matthew 16:25.  God wouldn’t ask man to do something that He wasn’t already considering.

by Jay Mankus

A Grand Parent’s Prayer

One of my favorite movie lines comes from the 2005 documentary End of the Spear.  Based on the true story of Operation Auca, Jim Elliott and 4 other missionary’s lose their life trying to bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the Waodani, a dangerous tribe from Ecuador.  Violence had prevented these men and women from ever becoming grandparents.  However, once their fearless leader, Mincayani embraces a new found faith, “this vicious cycle is stopped through peace, not by the end of the spear.”

The author of Psalm 128 shares a similar message.  Inside this short chapter, you will find an outline for blessings and prosperity.  Verse 1 claims fearing the Lord will lead you toward God’s ways.  If this advice is adhered to, you will experience the abundance within the flood gates of heaven, Malachi 3:10.  Yet, many still struggle with surrounding their entire lives to Christ, holding things back like Achan in Joshua 7.  As a result of partial acts of disobedience, many Christian’s are failing to live the abundant life which Jesus promises in John 10:10.  Instead, mediocrity reigns, leaving disappointment and unfulfilled expectations behind.

In my own life, I sense a time in the future when I could possibly become a grandparent.  While my parent’s worked hard for 40 years to achieve a better life in retirement, my generation may not be as fortunate.  The economy, inflation and societal demands has erased the life savings of many.  Yet, one thing the desperate can cling to is a grandparent’s prayer, “and may you live to see your children’s children.  Peace be upon Israel,” Psalm 128:6.

by Jay Mankus

When Joy Reemerged

On New Year’s Day, 2012, my oldest son, James and I played in a Disc Golf tournament.  After a small entry fee, James and I played well enough to earn a Frisbee, placing in our age brackets.  Before leaving, I also received money for winning a closest to the pin contest, 3 feet away.  We celebrated on the way home, going out to lunch with our 2 brand new discs.  Before last night, this was the last time I experienced joy.

This mood was broken by a chilling a phone call, a lost job and 18 months of hopelessness.  While I thought earlier in the year my luck was going to change, subtle signs from the Lord clearly revealed Chick-fil-A was not going to be in my future.  Falling apart on the inside, the prayers of dear friends and my church, has carried me across a barren desert of disappointment.

Deep in my heart, the only place I initially felt called was to coach Daniel, my younger son’s baseball team in Newark.  During my month as a Marketing Director, I was convicted by my lack of time with family.  In my absence, Coach Adrian, Coach Alex and my wife stepped in to fill the void left by me.  The team held their own, hovering above 500 before I returned.

Last night, winning the league championship culminated one of the most gratifying seasons ever as a coach.  Beside a few errors and base running blunders, every player contributed to score and or prevent runs from scoring.  Emotionally fragile at times like my last 18 months, everyone kept their composure until the final out.  The cherry on top is news earlier in the week of receiving a full time position with Amazon, with a start date set for next week.  I thank the Lord for holding me together and providing these blessings so that joy could reemerge.

by Jay Mankus

Power Bust

powerball photo: Powerball PowerBall.jpg

This morning a Florida man woke up to an amazing reality, he was the only one to possess all 6 winning numbers to yesterday’s Power Ball Jackpot.  As a result, he is $550 million richer today, set for life and then some.  Yet, will this newly acquired wealth actually bring joy and happiness into his life?

powerball photo: powerball 31513 IMG_20130514_220807_zpsa7d1f668.jpg

Based upon case studies done on former Lottery winners, only 10% experience contentment.  While  pleasure is found short term on getting out of debt and buying luxury items, most individuals aren’t ready for the responsibility and unwanted pressure put on winners by family, friends, neighbors and long lost relatives.  Like famous athletes who tend to accumulate posy followers searching for a free handout, Power Ball Winners often have to go into hiding, struggling to find peace in life.

Although I participate in Lottery, Jackpot or Power Balls that reach in excess of $100 million, God reminded me today that lucky souls can quickly turn into power busts.  The case studies I have read detail lottery winners who spend their prize money within a few years, with many filing for bankruptcy, less than 10 years after collecting their check.  Thus, if you woke up disappointed by your lack of winning numbers, don’t forget the key to spiritual success, Philippians 4:4-7.  May Jesus’ words in his sermon on the mount become etched into your heart, Matthew 6:19-24.  If not, the Power Ball might become a spiritual power bust!

by Jay Mankus

The Pain of Sin

Since the garden of Eden, the consequences of sin have left people in agony.  Guilt has become like a nightmare that won’t go away, often overwhelming your soul.  Meanwhile, shame isn’t far behind, leaving a trail of disappointment, embarrassment, and tattered reputations in its wake.  If this wasn’t enough, the fear of punishment and rejection bombard an individual’s mind, wishing they did not partaken in sin.

Regardless of how moral you claim to be, everyone has had a 2 Samuel 11 moment.  One second you are thinking about others, then boredom leads to idleness, from here aimless wandering leads your heart into the presence of sin.  These momentary lapses in judgments are common, except the time they last.  The sooner a person comes to their senses, the softer the blow you have to endure.  However, if you choose to go on a binge of rebellion like King David, adultery, lying and murder will flush your legacy right down the toilet.

When a man after God’s own heart sins, 1 Samuel 16:7, no one is exempt from the power of temptation.  Psalm 38:1-11 serves as a confessional for David, describing the pain sin has left behind within his soul.  This crippling state should inspire Christians to follow the words of 1 Peter 5:8-9, who also struggled with this pain, swallowing his pride after publicly denying Jesus 3 times.  Submit to God, resist the devil and the pain of sin can become a distant memory, James 4:7-8.

by Jay Mankus