Tag Archives: self-esteem

Establishing a Foundation for Victory

You don’t have to be in high school to discern whether or not you belong.  Based upon your personality and the people you encounter, conversations and friendships can quickly turn into tug of wars, seeking control.  My own defense mechanism causes me to begin cautiously, often listening more than talking before opening up.  However, once I feel comfortable in a certain setting or group of individuals, my true identity shines through.

However, there are many things which wage war against your soul in this life, making victory elusive, 1 Peter 2:11.  Depending upon your motivation or degree or perseverance, many give up, throwing in the towel before they taste success.  When you add this factor to the excess baggage people carry from their past, reaching the summit of John 10:10 seems unrealistic.  Spirits of doubt, failure and pessimism imprint a loser mentality upon the souls of many.  Instead of claiming the promise of Philippians 4:13, a lack of faith prohibits these bystanders from obtaining joy.

So how can someone establish a foundation for victory?  What must one do to turn their fortune from failure to celebration?  A Calvinist will say you don’t have a prayer; you’re either chosen or not.  The Arminian will disagree, claiming everyone has a shot.  While God’s grace does play a major role in victory, Ephesians 2:8, there is more as acts of contrition and penitence demonstrate whether or not someone is on the right track, James 2:26.  From my own journey, below are essential ingredients which have put me into position to achieve victory.

1) Like Jesus, you need to find a quiet place, seeking solitude daily to get your heart and mind in the right place, Luke 4:42.

2) You need to find and or develop friendships which elevate your self-esteem and spiritual hunger, Acts 2:42-47.

3) Fill your idle time listening to uplifting music whether through Pandora, Radio Stations or You Tubes that will get you through each day, filling your mind with wholesome lyrics and thoughts, 1 Samuel 16:23.

4) Try to read a chapter of the Bible daily which will enhance your faith while transforming your mind, Romans 10:17.

5) Spend time each day in some form of recreation, whether running, working out and investing in a hobby which makes you happy, providing a sense of accomplishment daily, 1 Timothy 4:8.

6) Once a week, write down, preferably in a journal, goals that you want to fulfill before the day, week or month is over.  This exercise provides needed vision for the future, Hosea 4:6.

7) Devote time once a month either helping, serving and volunteering within your church or community.  It’s better to give than receive.

May these ideas inspire you develop your own daily/weekly disciplines and practices which will lead you toward a foundation for victory.  May God honor the commitments you make to better yourself in 2014!

by Jay Mankus

Finding The Real You

Whether you enter a high school as a parent, visit a college with your child or observe your own workplace, people are trying so hard to fit in that it is easy to forget the real you.  Thinking they aren’t good enough on their own to be accepted by their peers, individuals seek to emulate Hollywood stars and pop culture to find approval.  Behind this mask, a heart, soul and mind wrestle between reality and the facade you are living.  This suppression blinds many youth from discovering the real you, often leaving a trail of remorse, regret and shame.

History isn’t exempt from this dilemma as one of the Bible’s greatest characters struggled with his own self image.  According to Genesis 25:27-28, Jacob was a mama’s boy early on.  Not blessed with the physical talents of his twin brother, Jacob was quiet, staying at home afraid to compete against the other boys his age.  Fearful of being exposed as a wimp, Jacob became a humble servant around the house, doing whatever his mother told him.  When the time came from receiving the birthrate from his father Isaac, Genesis 27, Jacob felt like he had to dress, look and smell like Esau to earn dad’s blessing.  Several thousand years later, teenagers across the country find themselves in Jacob’s shoes.

While speaking to Jesus in the dark, John 3:1-9, Nicodemus was searching for the meaning of life, knowing deep down in his heart that following the laws of the Pharisees wasn’t the answer.  Privy to the truth, the disciples of Jesus receive greater insight in Matthew 16:24-27 to eternal life.  The secret to finding the real you is through surrender.  As Michael W. Smith once sang about, “Love isn’t love until you give it away!”  Despite being a paraphrased version of Jesus’ words, the moment you yield your body as a life offering to the Lord of Creation, Romans 12:1-2, the Holy Spirit unveils the real you in the form of God’s good, pleasing and perfect will.  Let the words of scripture guide you toward the path of righteousness, Psalm 119:105.

by Jay Mankus

Remind Me of Your Miracles

Doom and gloom, pity parties and a spirit of doubt doesn’t exemplify the heart of a true believer.  Rather, one must ascribe to the Lord the glory and honor He deserves, Psalm 96:7-9.  Thus, one option is to recall the miracles God has done in your life.  This perspective should eradicate pessimism from your thought life by opening your mind to the ongoing transformation process overseen by sanctification.

In my own life, 3 miracles stand alone, things I can’t take credit for or rationally explain.  One is a medically related, another defies logic and the last was gradual.  When I was 16, I was told by doctors I would never be able to run again, limited to walking with a limp.  After the reconstructive surgery on my ankle, twisted 180 degrees in the wrong direction, no rod or screws were necessary.  Three months later I was swimming in a pool, competing in the state championships, with my 200 Individual Medley team earning a Bronze Medal.

The second miracle the Lord brought to my attention is my 21 battle with stammering and stuttering.  Thought to be untreatable by 2nd grade, I gave up hope of ever being able to verbally express myself.  Despite years of anguish, embarrassment and heartache, God used a series of events during my junior year of college to release me from these chains.  A decade long span as a high school teacher testifies to this work of the Holy Spirit.

Finally, self esteem, especially during my early years was a constant struggle.  Playing sports helped somewhat, yet depression drew me into years of isolation, hiding my pain.  Mood swings were common place, living with a peaks and valleys mentality.  Beside repeated intervention from close associates and friends, God worked his spiritual magic, gradually leading me to become confident in His strength, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

While I recognize not everyone has had life altering miracles happen directly to them, the Bible illustrates the amazing like Acts 12:5, 8-11.  When God senses an earnest spirit of prayer, He is moved toward action, ushering angels to intervene.  Though I can’t guarantee exactly when and where the next miracle of God will occur, I do believe its right around the corner.  Therefore, don’t allow disbelief to dictate or lead you to expect hollow expectations.  Rather, dig down deep to enable the faith of a mustard seed to prosper like miracles from the past, Matthew 13:31!

by Jay Mankus

2 + 5 = 12

Sure, if you want to get technical about it, 2 + 5 does equal 7.  However, when a growing number of youth sports organizations refuse to keep score, why can’t everyone win.  Meanwhile, school districts in Texas are following a similar pattern, not giving letter grades to prevent students from suffering low self-esteem.  In this age of political correctness, for today’s blog, 2 + 5 = 12.

Believe it or not, there are conditions and circumstances when 2 + 5 does indeed equal 12.  In fact, when you enter God into this equation like algebra, this answer can be clearly proven.  For example, one day Jesus tried to feed roughly 5,000 men, plus additional women and children not accounted for in John 6:10.  Testing the faith of his 12 disciples, Jesus attempts to take the resources set aside for 12 disciples and feed the masses of people surrounding them  on a mountain side.

Philip, likely an accountant, begged to differ with Jesus, throwing out the cost to feed this many people, John 6:7.  Andrew, a little more optimistic takes a quick inventory, discovering 5 loaves of barley bread and 2 small fish, John 6:9.  Based upon this verse, the more Andrew thought about it, the less confident he becomes.  Everything changes when you add Jesus into this problem.  Similar to a communion performed by a rabbi, priest or pastor, Jesus breaks the fish and bread, giving thanks to God above.  After the people were full, Jesus sent the disciples around to collect the basket of leftovers.  Amazingly, 2 small fish plus 5 loaves of barley bread results in 12 baskets provided by the Bread of Life, John 6:48.

by Jay Mankus

Broken Pottery

With the recent success of modern art, beauty is often in the eye of the beholder.  This same logic can be applied to self-esteem.  If an individual attains success in academics, athletics or socially, this person may feel like a bouquet of roses.  On the other hand, if one experiences a regular dose of defeat, failure and setbacks, they might feel like shattered glass, trying to pick up the pieces of their life one day at a time.

While most people think of David as the second king of Israel, he spent several years in isolation, warned by his best friend Jonathon to flee from his jealous father, King Saul.  In the psalms, David  pours out his heart to God, trying to make sense of the pain he was enduring.  This is where we feel David’s  raw emotion, “I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery,” Psalm 31:12.

Depression is an unfortunate circumstance of life.  God allows people to experience trials in life so that they may become mature and complete, James 1:2-4.  However, this process includes mess ups, mistakes and unfulfilled expectations.  Though you may currently feel like a piece of broken pottery, the Great Potter, Abba Father, has eternal plans to hold you together, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.  May the power of Holy Spirit be the spiritual glue to fix our bodies comprised of broken pottery.

by. Jay Mankus

Loose Lips Sink Ships

In the 1900’s, American families for the most part shared a common parenting trait.  Either mom, dad or both parents reminded children weekly of the motto, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t open your mouth.”  While variations of this expression existed, the heart of the matter involves the biblical principle inside of Ephesians 4:29.  Just of loose lips sink ships, unwholesome words directed at another individual grieves the Holy Spirit according to Ephesians 4:30.

As a parent of 3 children, each 3 years apart, siblings rivalries are alive in my household whether I like it or not.  Sarcasm, teasing and untimely words are a daily threat to tear down self esteem, self confidence and a spiritual connection with God.  Therefore, it is essential for parents to remind their children of passages like Proverbs 14:3.  When a child or student can associate or tie their words directly to a specific punishment, wisdom might be found before its too late or before their own ship sinks.

Jesus’ own brother James, highlights the power of words in his letter to Christian’s scattered throughout the world following Nero’s persecution in the 60’s AD.  James 3:3-6 magnifies the force of a word, comparing the tongue with fire.  Like Smokey the Bear in his public service announcements airing as commercials, “only you can prevent verbal forest fires!”  As Facebook, Twitter and other outlets of social media continue to explode, make sure you practice self-discipline before you press send.  If not, you could be the next Manti Te’O.  Therefore, tighten the reigns of your own tongue before loose lips result in another titanic disaster.

by Jay Mankus