Tag Archives: overcoming jealousy

Don’t Go There Again

Posted on July 6, 2023 by expressyourself4him

History repeats itself when individuals fail to remember past mistakes. To prevent this from reoccurring, Jewish families spent time each evening recalling the lives of their patriarchs. This practice began after Rachel’s life. Apparently, she hadn’t heard about Sarah’s irrational decision to let her husband sleep with Hagar. Or she was so desperate, Rachel would have done anything to have a child, even allow her own husband to sleep with her maid.

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. 2 And Sarai said to Abram, See here, the Lord has restrained me from bearing [children]. I am asking you to have intercourse with my maid; it may be that I can obtain children by her. And Abram listened to and heeded what Sarai said. 3 So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her Egyptian maid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his [secondary] wife. 4 And he had intercourse with Hagar, and she became pregnant; and when she saw that she was with child, she looked with contempt upon her mistress and despised her, Genesis 16:1-4.

When Hagar conceived and gave birth to Ishmael, Sarah was filled with envy and jealousy. Since Ishmael went on to become the father of the Arab nations, Israel is still dealing with the consequences of Sarah’s irrational decision. If only somebody warned Rachel of Sarah’s stressful ordeal, she might have been persuaded to not go there again. Nonetheless, human nature is a real force that leads many individuals into repeating the same mistake over and over again.

When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister, and said to Jacob, Give me children, or else I will die! 2 And Jacob became very angry with Rachel and he said, Am I in God’s stead, Who has denied you children? 3 And she said, See here, take my maid Bilhah and have intercourse with her; and [when the baby comes] she shall deliver it upon my knees, that I by her may also have children. 4 And she gave him Bilhah her maid as a [secondary] wife, and Jacob had intercourse with her, Genesis 30:1-4.

Looking back on my own life, high school and college relationships taught me a lot about myself. As long as I avoided desperate situations, I didn’t do something that I regretted, Romans 7:16-18. However, when I put myself into a tempting situation over and over again, I did the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. Therefore, if you find yourself slip, sliding away from the Lord, 1 Corinthians 10:13, look for the way out of temptation so that you don’t go there again.

by Jay Mankus

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The Human Side of the Bible

Posted on June 24, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Emotion runs deep within every young man and woman. When you add the element of physical and sexual relationships into this equation, emotions can become raw. As a young bride is eager to have children, Moses describes Rachel as an emotional wreck. After years of trying, Rachel approaches her husband, hoping for some type of sympathy. This is the context which illuminates the passage below, touching on the human side of the Bible.

When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister, and said to Jacob, Give me children, or else I will die! 2 And Jacob became very angry with Rachel and he said, Am I in God’s stead, Who has denied you children? – Genesis 30:1-2

There are certain things in life that only men and women can identify with or understand. When a woman loses an infant prior to being born, a husband can try to console her, yet not have a clue on how she actually feels. At this point in the Old Testament, a woman’s success was based upon how many children she gave birth to. Subsequently, Rachel’s emotional outburst in the passage above magnifies the human aspect of the Bible.

Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue that consecration and holiness without which no one will [ever] see the Lord. 15 Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it—Hebrews 12:14-15.

Similar to the envy and jealousy that waged war upon Cain’s soul in Genesis 4:6-7, Rachel reached her breaking point. Meanwhile, the roots of bitterness due to Leah’s ability to have children forced Rachel to publicly announce the pain within her heart. Although her individual quest to have children were put on hold, Rachel relied on her own maid to bear what she could not currently conceive. Based upon a recent study, 12-15% of women in America understand Rachel’s pain. May this portion of the Bible help readers connect with the human element of the Bible.

by Jay Mankus

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Signs of a Comforting God

Posted on June 18, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Whenever anyone is suffering from depression, there is a tendency to put blinders on; only seeing the negative aspects of life. From my own personal experiences as a teenager, part of me wanted sympathy from my peers. Unfortunately, I was too immature and didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. Subsequently, I wasn’t looking for signs from a comforting God.

And Jacob lived with Rachel also as his wife, and he loved Rachel more than Leah and served [Laban] another seven years [for her]. 31 And when the Lord saw that Leah was despised, He made her able to bear children, but Rachel was barren, Genesis 29:30-31.

Based upon the words of Moses in today’s featured passage, Leah was suffering from envy and jealousy. If you want to put her feelings into a more visual context, Rachel received Jacob’s full attention. Meanwhile, Leah was an afterthought, getting whatever energy Jacob had left over from his daily encounters with Rachel. As each day wore on, Leah began to feel dead inside her soul.

And Leah became pregnant and bore a son and named him Reuben [See, a son!]; for she said, Because the Lord has seen my humiliation and affliction; now my husband will love me. 33 [Leah] became pregnant again and bore a son and said, Because the Lord heard that I am despised, He has given me this son also; and she named him Simeon [God hears]. 34 And she became pregnant again and bore a son and said, Now this time will my husband be a companion to me, for I have borne him three sons. Therefore he was named Levi [companion]. 35 Again she conceived and bore a son, and she said, Now will I praise the Lord! So she called his name Judah [praise]; then [for a time] she ceased bearing, Genesis 29:32-35.

During this time of despair, Leah cried out to the Lord for some sort of help to endure the pain inside her heart. The first answer Leah received was in the form of a son named Reuben. From Leah’s perspective, the Lord has seen her affliction and granted her a sign of comfort. When Leah was blessed with 2 more boys, God removed her pain by replacing it with a Spirit of praise. This is one of many signs in the Bible of a comforting God.

by Jay Mankus

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Not the Answer You Wanted to Hear

Posted on March 14, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As someone who grew up in a military family, discipline was always part of my childhood. Whenever I was unruly to my mother, I became fearful as soon as I heard, “wait until your father gets home.” Despite attending a public high school and state-run university, discipline played an important role. My senior year of high school I got an afterschool detention for taking during the morning announcements. As King Solomon wrote the Book of Proverbs, rules are designed for your own spiritual protection.

But [a]the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness on the road to Shur. 8 And He said, Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where did you come from, and where are you intending to go? And she said, I am running away from my mistress Sarai, Genesis 16:7-8.

Running away from home is one of those things that I thought about, but never did. Sometimes adults run away, sometimes in the form of divorce to try to start over from scratch. Following Hagar’s decision to run away from her jealous owner Sarai, Hagar believed that running away for good was the best decision she could make. However, the wilderness is not a safe place to live, let alone have a child all by yourself. Subsequently, this angel gives Hagar an answer that she didn’t want to hear.

The Angel of the Lord said to her, Go back to your mistress and [humbly] submit to her control. 10 Also the Angel of the Lord said to her, I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be numbered for multitude, Genesis 16:9-10.

This same concept also applies to prayer. Some prayers result in clear answers in the form of blessings. Other times in life you will receive a clear no, often in the form of a closed door, denying you the career, job or position that you really wanted. The final way that God answers prayers is by subtle, “not now or not yet.” This response could be a way to test your patience or a way to prepare you for what God has in store for you in the future. If you’re presently like me, disappointed by the answers God has for you, read Luke 18:1-8 so you can discern and learn from a persistent widow who wrestled with God in prayer.

by Jay Mankus

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Beer-lahai-roi

Posted on February 20, 2023 by expressyourself4him

The first mention of beer in the Bible has nothing to do with alcohol. Rather, beer is the name of a special well where one depressed woman was touched by God. Beer-lahai-roi is the name of a well located between Kadesh and Bered. Hagar was Sarai’s maidservant who ran away from home after being mistreated. Jealousy of the baby in her womb, Sarai mentally and verbally harassed Hagar to the point of tears. Unable to take these emotional scars, Hagar left thinking it was for the best.

Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi [A well to the Living One Who sees me]; it is [c]between Kadesh and Bered, Genesis 16:14.

Whenever you’re alone, crying out to an invisible God seems to be a logical thing to do. While Moses doesn’t specify how many months Hagar had been pregnant, it’s enough to see an expanded belly. Depressed, lonely and in the middle of the wilderness, Hagar cries out to God for help. Based upon the words in the passage above, Hagar was blown away by how the Lord was able to hear and see the pain she felt inside her heart.

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. 12 Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you, Jeremiah 29:11-12.

I have days just like Hagar, feeling lonely and helpless, unsure of my future. While I know the Lord can see my pain, I’m still waiting for a response. Perhaps, I’m like the person one Old Testament Prophet writes about in Isaiah 1. Clarity doesn’t come until confession is followed by a contrite heart. While living in Delaware, one of the Bible Studies I attended talked about spiritual blockage, which prevents clarity. Whatever the reason for my current spiritual condition, I pray that one day soon I’ll have a similar experience as Hagar at the well of Beer-lahai-roi.

by Jay Mankus

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Stop Unwholesome Thought From Staying in Your Mind

Posted on January 16, 2023 by expressyourself4him

According to the words of Moses, sin is crouching at your door. Crouching is a position where the knees are bent, and the upper body is brought forward and down, sometimes to avoid detection or to defend oneself: If sin is still crouching at your door in 2023, you might as well get all the way down on your knees to start fighting back spiritually. The earthly brother of Jesus clarifies that this has nothing to do with God. Rather, unwholesome thoughts come from desires, enticement and lust, James 1:13-15.

But for [a]Cain and his offering He had no respect or regard. So Cain was exceedingly angry and indignant, and he looked sad and depressed. 6 And the Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? And why do you look sad and depressed and dejected? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it, Genesis 4:5-7.

According to the temptations of Adam and Eve in Genesis 3 and their son Cain in the passage above, the process of sin begins with an unwholesome thought that enters your mind, James 1:14-15. The serpent tried to convince Eve that God was holding her back by prohibiting access from the Tree of Knowledge. Meanwhile, envy and jealousy were putting thoughts into Cain’s head about eliminating the source of his frustration. Despite God’s warning in the passage above, Cain acted upon the unwholesome thought that remained in his mind.

For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, 5 [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One), 6 Being in readiness to punish every [insubordinate for his] disobedience, when your own submission and obedience [as a church] are fully secured and complete, 2 Corinthains 10:3-6.

The apostle Paul provides a solution to stopping unwholesome thoughts from polluting your soul in the passage above. If Lucifer is a fallen arch angel who is ruler over the air on earth, Ephesians 2:2, physical means of protection will only go so far. The best way to stop unwholesome thoughts from staying in your mind is by using the armor of God, Ephesians 6:10-20. When these spiritual weapons are exercised daily, God will shield you from the Devil’s attacks. As Christians use prayer as a vehicle to put on each piece of spiritual armor, your thought life will become obedient to Christ, causing unwholesome thoughts to flee.

by Jay Mankus

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When Your Punishment is Greater Than What You Can Bear

Posted on December 16, 2022 by expressyourself4him

As a child, I was grounded a few times by my parents. My worst punishment as a student was being called to the principal’s office. When I gave up trying to improve as a saxophone player in 8th grade, I became a troublemaker. Subsequently, I was rolling up fake joints made out of oregano. However, our band director thought it was the real thing. After being dragged down to the main office like criminals, the boy who brought the oregano to school cracked under pressure. While I was cleared of any charges, my band director never forgave me.

Then Cain said to the Lord, My punishment is]greater than I can bear. 14 Behold, You have driven me out this day from the face of the land, and from Your face I will be hidden; and I will be a fugitive and a vagabond and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me. 15 And the Lord said to him, [d]Therefore, if anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Lord set a mark or sign upon Cain, lest anyone finding him should kill him. 16 So Cain went away from the presence of the Lord and dwelt in the land of Nod [wandering], east of Eden, Genesis 4:13-16.

In the case of Cain, he verbalized his concerns to the Lord in the passage above. Perhaps, nightmares of Abel’s death kept replaying in his mind. Cain’s overwhelming conscience brought conviction and regret to his heart and soul daily. Sensing that other members of his family would eventually hunt him down in revenge, Cain asked God for some sort of intervention. God’s solution is detailed above with a mark, a visible sign to avoid touching Cain. Yet, this doesn’t mean Cain lived happily ever after as a social outcast forced to think about what he had done to his brother.

But I say to you that everyone who continues to be [ad]angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of heart) against him shall be [ae]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court; and whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his brother shall be [af]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, You [ag]cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall be [ah]liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of fire, Matthew 5:22.

There’s a lesson in every crime as illustrated by shows like Cold Case Files and Forensic Files. No matter how careful the killer is, there is always at least one clue left behind at the scene of the crime. Although Cain denied any involvement, God saw right through Cain’s lie. Jesus indirectly mentions Cain in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5-7. Jesus equates hatred with murder. The jealousy within Cain due to the prosperity of his little brother conceived a root of bitterness inside of Cain’s heart. When you give the devil a foothold, Ephesians 4:26-28, hatred can lead to murder. May Cain’s story serve as a warning for all people.

by Jay Mankus

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The Devil or Bad Decisions?

Posted on January 16, 2021 by expressyourself4him

Behind the scenes, ungodly beliefs and self fulfilled prophecies lurk within human minds. Whispers of “you’re not good enough, you’ll never amount to anything or everybody else is doing it,” play like a commercial in your thought life. Depending upon how you deal with these distractions, you might blame the Devil for your current ordeal. However, whenever individuals lose confidence, circumstances are prime for bad decisions to be conceived. When common sense is ignored, consequences of poor choices come to the forefront.

And the Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? And why do you look sad and depressed and dejected? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it, Genesis 4:6-7.

Take the first child born on earth. Cain followed in his father’s footsteps as a farmer. However, as the curse in Genesis 3:17 commenced, the earth’s soil turned from fertile ground into an arid desert. Subsequently, as his younger brother Abel prospered as a shepherd, envy and jealousy began to consume Cain’s soul. This dire situation caused God to intervene, warning Cain of the sin crouching at the door of his heart. Unfortunately, the Lord was too late as Cain already made up him mind. It was only a matter of time before Cain’s thoughts were acted upon.

Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one. 14 But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions). 15 Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death, James 1:13-15.

The earthly brother of Jesus makes sure God is not one to blame for temptation. Rather, those who give into temptation slowly ponder their options before finally taking steps toward the dark side. Whether it’s a second glance, a season of idleness or lustful passions that you can’t hold back any further, when sin is conceived it fills your minds until you finally give into a variety of fantasies. In the end, the only way to escape temptation, 1 Corinthians 10:13, is by purging all reminders of your past sins so that you find the way out that God provides.

by Jay Mankus

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The Spark that Makes Dreams Come True

Posted on July 11, 2020 by expressyourself4him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW-pHVPAATs

Modern plows are large farming structures that implement one or more blades fixed in a frame drawn by a tractor. These expensive pieces of equipment are essential for farmers who own hundreds of acres of land. Back in biblical days, this technology wasn’t available, forced to rely on horses, mules or oxen. These animal driven plows were used for cutting furrows in the soil and turning it over, to prepare for the planting of crops.

Do I say this only on human authority and as a man reasons? Does not the Law endorse the same principle? 9 For in the Law of Moses it is written, You shall not muzzle an ox when it is treading out the corn. Is it [only] for oxen that God cares? – 1 Corinthians 9:8-9

As the first son of Adam, Cain found farming to be a thankless trade. This likely explains why Abel decides to become a shepherd, moving his flock once the land became arid. Abel’s initial success combined with Cain’s struggles sowed a seed of jealousy within Cain’s heart. This is the exact opposite thought that the apostle Paul suggests in a letter to the church of Corinth. When you begin to plow, you should expect God to bless your effort as long as you give 100%.

Or does He speak certainly and entirely for our sakes? [Assuredly] it is written for our sakes, because the plowman ought to plow in hope, and the thresher ought to thresh in expectation of partaking of the harvest. 11 If we have sown [the seed of] spiritual good among you, [is it too] much if we reap from your material benefits? – 1 Corinthians 9:10-11

Paul seems to be referring to self fulfilled prophecies. If you think you are going to have a bad day, the probability increases that a bad day will come. However, if you remember how God has provided for you in the past, you’ll be more optimistic about plowing in hope of a productive harvest. Therefore, if you want to claim God’s promises in the Bible, faith is the spark that makes dreams come true.

by Jay Mankus

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Malicious Accusations

Posted on December 15, 2019 by expressyourself4him

Some of the Psalms in the Bible are like pages out of David’s personal diary. David went from a lonely shepherd boy to a war hero, killing a giant called Goliath. This unlikely rise to greatness incited a spirit of jealousy in those whom David surpassed. Chants by fans of his victorious battles even caused King Saul to become envious of David’s accomplishments. Thus, David quickly gained several enemies who spewed malicious accusations, some warranted and others unwarranted.

Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child]. Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain and even path because of my enemies [those who lie in wait for me], Psalm 27:10-11.

When these words began to eat away at David’s soul, he cried out to the Lord for help. Based upon the passage above, David’s own parents turned against him for undisclosed reasons. When you examine Samuel’s visit to Jesse in 1 Samuel 16, it appears that David’s oldest brother Eliab was the apple of his parents’ eyes. David was an after thought, not even invited to this special meeting. Yet, at some point, David’s fame and popularity created a rift or David’s parents were embarrassed by some of his ill-advised decisions.

Give me not up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen up against me; they breathe out cruelty and violence. [What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living! – Psalm 27:12-13

One of the translations of verse 12 uses malicious accusations in place of cruelty and violence. Perhaps, David became cocky, conceited by his success as a soldier. This unhealthy pattern is played out in 2 Samuel 11 as David has an affair with a soldier’s wife. Instead of confessing his sin publicly, David gave orders for Israel’s army to withdraw, allowing Uriah to die behind enemy lines. While David didn’t like the malicious accusations made against him, his actions made the bed he was forced to lie in. While you can’t control what others say about you, a life devoted to character and integrity can persuade former enemies to change their minds about you.

by Jay Mankus

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