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Tag Archives: Overcoming depression

When Depression Overtakes Your Mind

Posted on April 1, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness as well as a loss of interest. When depression begins to overtake human minds, there is a tendency to isolate oneself. Meanwhile, as you allow yourself to fall into one of these emotional slumps, your mind starts to expect the worst in every situation. Subsequently, a spirit of hopelessness can fill your soul, coming to the conclusion that all is lost.

So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a bottle of water and gave them to Hagar, putting them on her shoulders, and he sent her and the [c]youth away. And she wandered on [aimlessly] and lost her way in the wilderness of Beersheba. 15 When the water in the bottle was all gone, Hagar caused the youth to lie down under one of the shrubs. 16 Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about a bowshot, for she said, Let me not see the death of the lad. And as she sat down opposite him, [d]he lifted up his voice and wept and she raised her voice and wept, Genesis 21:14-16.

Based upon the description of Hagar’s emotional condition in the passage above, Moses senses a woman’s dire belief that her baby boy is going to die. There wasn’t a clinic or emergency room available. Nor was there an app or cell phone to place a prescription online to numb Hagar’s pain. Hagar did want anyone in her position could do, cry out to God above as a last resort, praying for a miracle.

My son, forget not my law or teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; 2 For length of days and years of a life [worth living] and tranquility [inward and outward and continuing through old age till death], these shall they add to you. 3 Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness] and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart. 4 So shall you find favor, good understanding, and high esteem in the sight [or judgment] of God and man, Proverbs 3:1-4.

I battled manic depression throughout Junior High and High School. Each night for several years, I cried myself to sleep, wondering if my stuttering would ever end. Unfortunately, the older I get, life becomes more complicated which enables depression to return. As I experience failure after failure in my attempt to begin a new career in South Carolina, depression has overtaken me again. I’m not sure how many more rejections I can bear, but King Solomon provides instructions on trusting God. May this passage shine light into the darkness of depression. As for now, all I can do is pray for each new day.

by Jay Mankus

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Beer-lahai-roi

Posted on February 20, 2023 by expressyourself4him

The first mention of beer in the Bible has nothing to do with alcohol. Rather, beer is the name of a special well where one depressed woman was touched by God. Beer-lahai-roi is the name of a well located between Kadesh and Bered. Hagar was Sarai’s maidservant who ran away from home after being mistreated. Jealousy of the baby in her womb, Sarai mentally and verbally harassed Hagar to the point of tears. Unable to take these emotional scars, Hagar left thinking it was for the best.

Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi [A well to the Living One Who sees me]; it is [c]between Kadesh and Bered, Genesis 16:14.

Whenever you’re alone, crying out to an invisible God seems to be a logical thing to do. While Moses doesn’t specify how many months Hagar had been pregnant, it’s enough to see an expanded belly. Depressed, lonely and in the middle of the wilderness, Hagar cries out to God for help. Based upon the words in the passage above, Hagar was blown away by how the Lord was able to hear and see the pain she felt inside her heart.

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. 12 Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you, Jeremiah 29:11-12.

I have days just like Hagar, feeling lonely and helpless, unsure of my future. While I know the Lord can see my pain, I’m still waiting for a response. Perhaps, I’m like the person one Old Testament Prophet writes about in Isaiah 1. Clarity doesn’t come until confession is followed by a contrite heart. While living in Delaware, one of the Bible Studies I attended talked about spiritual blockage, which prevents clarity. Whatever the reason for my current spiritual condition, I pray that one day soon I’ll have a similar experience as Hagar at the well of Beer-lahai-roi.

by Jay Mankus

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Who is There to Hurt You?

Posted on March 10, 2022 by expressyourself4him

While anxiety is less intense than fear, stress tends to be a more sustained emotional response than phobias. Although human beings may be threatened by overreaching and power-hungry individuals, inner demons are often your own worst enemy. Anyone who has ever experienced an anxiety attack, know the overwhelming feeling you endure and how it can interfere with your daily life.

Now who is there to hurt you if you are [d]zealous followers of that which is good? – 1 Peter 3:13

Since my days at Hanby Junior High School in Wilmington, Delaware, I’ve turned to music to find comfort and hope. Whenever I was sad, I’d listen to Air Supply or Chicago which made me even more depressed. Perhaps this empty feeling eventually drew me to only listen to Christian music. While in college, a friend introduced me to punk rock and a group called the Altar Boys. The emptiness I once experienced was replaced by a quiet confidence thanks to the song “When I’m with God.”

But even in case you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, [you are] blessed (happy, to be envied). Do not dread or be afraid of their threats, nor be disturbed [by their opposition], 1 Peter 3:14.

No matter how big, tall or old you may be, there is always someone faster, stronger and smarter. Despite all of the new threats that you may experience, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ has eased many of my anxieties in life. Like the words of one of Jesus’ disciples in the passage above, who is there to hurt you if you are passionately following the Lord? No one likes hardships, persecution or trials, but when I’m with God my fears tend to fade away. Place your hope in Jesus today, Romans 10:9-11.

by Jay Mankus

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Multiple and Don’t Dillydally

Posted on December 15, 2021 by expressyourself4him

I was first introduced by the idiom dillydally by one of my Junior High teachers. This woman hated to lose valuable class time, regularly pointing out to her class this wretched behavior. Yet, this term dates back to the Middle Ages. Dilly-dally is a reduplication of dally, referring to loitering or spending time idly. According to the OED, dilly-dally first appeared in literature around 1741.

Build yourselves houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat the fruit of them. 6 Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not be diminished, Jeremiah 29:5-6.

While Israel was living in exile, forced to reside in Babylon, many longed to be back in their homeland. Based upon the passage above, many Israelites were seen moping around, unable to come to grips with their current dilemma. Like teenagers loitering at a local mall, God sent the prophet Jeremiah to give everyone a pep talk. The best way to summarize this message is “multiple and don’t dillydally.”

Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a city and spend a year there and carry on our business and make money. 14 Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air], James 4:13-14.

Jesus’ earthly brother proclaimed that life is too short to dwell on the past. Whenever you let depression suck the joy out of life, you’ll never get back the time you’ve lost wishing you were someone else or some other place. The time for moping is over for me. Instead of dillydallying in this or that, seize each day like it’s your last. Dwell where the Lord has planted you, making the most of the hours you have left on earth.

by Jay Mankus

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Guilt by Comparison

Posted on December 8, 2020 by expressyourself4him

Guilt by Association dates back to 1525 as a Medieval Latin expression. However, the idea that an individual is guilty of a crime because he associates with the person who actually committed it can be found in the Bible. While Eve actually ate the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, Adam was right there with her the whole time, Genesis 3:6-7. One chapter later, Cain is the first to experience guilt by comparison.

And in the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground. 4 And Abel brought of the firstborn of his flock and of the fat portions. And the Lord had respect and regard for Abel and for his offering, Genesis 4:3-4.

Whenever individuals begin to believe that the grass is greener on the other side where someone else resides, envy and jealousy is conceived. The saying “grass is always greener on the other side” originated in the 19th century. The more you compare your own life to a family member, friend or neighbor, guilt can consume your soul by wishing you had this or that. When Cain realized how hard it was to be a farmer, the comparisons began.

But for Cain and his offering He had no respect or regard. So Cain was exceedingly angry and indignant, and he looked sad and depressed. 6 And the Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? And why do you look sad and depressed and dejected? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it, Genesis 4:5-7.

Cain’s guilt from comparison leads to a one on one conversation with God. Trying to figure out why Abel’s offering was embraced by God while his was rejected results in anger, depression and frustration. In response to Cain’s displeasure, God reveals how guilt by comparison has lead to an internal struggle. When sin crouches at your door, you must resist or else guilt will ravage your life. Instead of wanting what you don’t have, appreciate all the little things that God has blessed you with in life.

by Jay Mankus

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When You Lose the Desire to Sing

Posted on December 3, 2020 by expressyourself4him

Over the course of my life, there were several years that I never wanted to end as I was having the time of my life. Other years can be best described by “blah, ho hum or nothing special.” However, as December begins and a New Year approaches, most Americans are ready now to turn the page on 2020. Between the Coronavirus, countless deaths, a troubled economy and whatever else you have endured, finding something to sing about is tough.

By the rivers of Babylon, there we [captives] sat down, yes, we wept when we [earnestly] remembered Zion [the city of our God imprinted on our hearts]. 2 On the willow trees in the midst of [Babylon] we hung our harps, Psalm 137:1-2.

The Psalmist writes about a similar period in his own life. The forced detention of Jews to Babylonia following the conquest of the kingdom of Judah began in 598. This exile would last a total of 12 years, removing the wind beneath the wings of this harp player. After being removed from their beloved land, musicians lost their desire to play an instrument. Subsequently, harps were abandoned, hung in nearby willow trees in Babylon.

For there they who led us captive required of us a song with words, and our tormentors and they who wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion. 4 How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a strange land? 5 If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its skill [with the harp]. 6 Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth if I remember you not, if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy! – Psalm 137:3-6.

People listen to music for a variety of reasons. Some listen as a form of entertainment, others to pass the time or seek inspiration from a particular song or genre of music. While music can sooth human souls as in the case of King Saul in 1 Samuel 16, depressing music can plant troubling thoughts. Whenever I am depressed, I rely on certain songs to uplift my mood. Yet, when you lose the desire to sing, come to Jesus to lighten your load, Matthew 11:28-30.

by Jay Mankus

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He’ll Keep You from Falling

Posted on August 30, 2020 by expressyourself4him

If you listen to news updates while driving or watch a portion of the evening news, the headlines can be depressing. Whether it’s chaos in the streets, the latest natural disaster to strike, deadly shootings or riots, the human soul can only take so much pain. At some point, you have to change the channel or tune out these negative vibes designed to stir up emotions.

It is these who are [agitators] setting up distinctions and causing divisions—merely sensual [creatures, carnal, worldly-minded people], devoid of the [Holy] Spirit and destitute of any higher spiritual life, Jude 1:1.

If you ever reach a point in life where you feel like you can’t take it anymore, the Bible introduced me to a friend who can keep you from falling. Despite the agitators, politicians and self seeking individuals who can’t wait to get in front of microphone, there is a God who can prevent you from slipping off the deep end. An invisible hand to pull you back.

But you, beloved, build yourselves up [founded] on your most holy faith [make progress, rise like an edifice higher and higher], praying in the Holy Spirit; 21 Guard and keep yourselves in the love of God; expect and patiently wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah)—[which will bring you] unto life eternal. And refute [so as to] convict some who dispute with you, and on some have mercy who waver and doubt. 23 [Strive to] save others, snatching [them] out of [the] fire; on others take pity [but] with fear, loathing even the garment spotted by the flesh and polluted by their sensuality. 24 Now to Him Who is able to keep you without stumbling or slipping or falling, and to present [you] unblemished (blameless and faultless) before the presence of His glory in triumphant joy and exultation [with unspeakable, ecstatic delight]-Jude 1:20-24.

The passage above is from one of the universal letters sent to Christians scattered throughout the world following their persecution in Rome. Jude received a vision of what the last days on earth would look like prior to Jesus’ second coming. On any given night in Chicago, New York, Portland or Seattle, Jude’s warning has become a reality, surrounded by agitators. Yet, when you put your faith and trust in Jesus, God will keep you from falling.

by Jay Mankus

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From the Womb to the Tomb

Posted on August 3, 2020 by expressyourself4him

Based upon annual pregnancy statistics, 6 million American women get pregnant each year. Of these total pregnancies, roughly 4 millions result in live births. In a typical year, there are between 600,000 to 700,000 abortions nationwide. Unfortunately, the remaining 1.3 million pregnancies end in miscarriages. Which mean that millions of unborn babies never make it out of their woman’s womb alive each year.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations,” Jeremiah 1:5.

To those who survive, the Bible refers to an abundant life. Based upon Jesus’ own words below, there is a thief that will come to steal your joy while living on earth. While no time table is given, it’s assumed that this battle will last from the womb to the tomb. Therefore, it’s essential that you begin to defend yourself so that you don’t go through life depressed, lifeless and void of enthusiasm.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly, John 10:10.

According to the apostle Paul, joy comes from a personal relationship with God, Romans 15:13. When Christians begin to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit, 2 Peter 1:3-4, you’ll find everything that you’ll need for life. Despite this comforting news, remaining joyful is a difficult task when you consider the powers of darkness that exist, Ephesians 6:12. If you want an added sense of security from the womb to the tomb, trusting Jesus each day is your best option, 1 John 5:13.

by Jay Mankus

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Falling into Silence Makes It Impossible to Survive

Posted on July 17, 2020 by expressyourself4him

Depression has a way of isolating yourself from the people who care about you the most. Looking back on my own life, I began to withdraw from my friends when I entered Hanby Junior High School. Instead of allowing those who reached out to me in, I secluded myself even further. When I wanted to be miserable, I could suck the life out of an entire room, bringing everyone around me down.

When I kept silence [before I confessed], my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long, Psalm 32:3.

After committing adultery with Bathsheba, King David took a vacation from God. Instead of telling the truth when Bathsheba missed her period, David sent for Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, to comeback from war to be reunited. When Uriah refused to sleep with his wife, David went to plan C, giving an order to abandon Uriah on the front line, resulting in his death. As each day passed, this silence made it impossible for David to survive spiritually.

For day and night Your hand [of displeasure] was heavy upon me; my moisture was turned into the drought of summer. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! – Psalm 32:4

Guilt consumed David like high humidity on a hot summer day. The longer David put off confessing his sins, the lonelier his soul became. Psalm 32 and Psalm 51 highlight the emotions built up inside David’s heart. As soon as David realized his silence from God needed to broken, the door for reconciliation was opened. The next time you feel like running away from confrontation, remember David’s prayer to end his distance and silence from God.

by Jay Mankus

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When You Need to be Encouraged

Posted on June 10, 2020 by expressyourself4him

I tend to be a positive person, trying to stay optimistic about life. However, over the past week, a wave of depression has come crashing upon the shores of my life. Like a rogue wave that comes out of no where, I wasn’t prepared to deal with this emotional undertow. As I attempt to regain my balance so that I’m not swept away by this strong current, I find myself in need of encouragement.

When I kept silence [before I confessed], my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long. 4 For day and night Your hand [of displeasure] was heavy upon me; my moisture was turned into the drought of summer. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! – Psalm 32:3-4

I’m definitely not the first to experience such a strange week nor will I be the last to undergo what the Bible calls a trial. In the passage above, a series of bad choices causes King David to be overwhelmed by guilt. The longer David waited to confess his careless errors and mistakes to God, the worse he feels. As each day passed without acknowledging his sin, David’s strength was sapped like humidity from a summer heatwave.

If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. 6 Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind, James 1:5-6.

Jesus’ earthly brother reveals that earthly trials take the form of waves of doubt. Once fully developed, these spiritual storms contain a billowing surge that keeps coming. When you add the wind. conditions only get worse. According to James, when you find yourself stuck in one of these systems, call out to God in prayer to receive wisdom to get you through. While each storm varies, James 1:12 provides hope for those who hold on to Jesus until your storm passes.

by Jay Mankus

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