Tag Archives: Overcoming depression

When God First Gets Your Attention

Posted on November 21, 2023 by expressyourself4him

I was sitting at the Old Valley Forge Music Fair listening to a series of professional athletes share about their faith in God. While several of these athletes from Philadelphia I idolized, none of their testimonies wowed me. The keynote speaker strolled up in a wheelchair making me feel uneasy at the time. Yet, when Skip Wilkins began speaking, God got my attention.

Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian; and he led the flock to the back or west side of the wilderness and came to Horeb or Sinai, the mountain of God. 2 The [a]Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush; and he looked, and behold, the bush burned with fire, yet was not consumed, Exodus 3:1-2.

Moses was a recent newlywed when God got his attention. Beneath the surface, Moses was depressed as a stranger living in a foreign land. Yet, as this Spiritual Flame begins talking, conviction begins to consume Moses’ soul. While Moses doesn’t say why he is too ashamed to see God’s face, taking another man’s life in Egypt might be one of if not the reason for his shame.

And Moses said, I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush is not burned. 4 And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the midst of the bush and said, Moses, Moses! And he said, Here am I. 5 God said, Do not come near; put your shoes off your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground, Exodus 3:3-5.

According to the Parable of the Sower, Matthew 13:18-23, not everyone whose attention is perked by God responds. Apparently, some talk about making changes in their life, but never do. Others eagerly pursue God initially, but a weak spiritual foundation is washed away during times of trouble. In view of this, the next time God gets your attention, plant your faith upon fertile ground.

by Jay Mankus

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But… God Knows Your Heart

Posted on November 2, 2023 by expressyourself4him

I spent the majority of my adolescence wearing emotions on my sleeves. While my peers knew exactly how I felt, I didn’t have an inkling that God knew what was going on in my heart. I wasn’t mature enough nor did I possess a clear understanding of the God of the Bible. Unfortunately, depression led me to withdraw, trying to cope with my broken heart on my own.

And after there had been a long debate, Peter got up and said to them, Brethren, you know that quite a while ago God made a choice or selection from among you, that by my mouth the Gentiles should hear the message of the Gospel [concerning the [c]attainment through Christ of salvation in the kingdom of God] and believe (credit and place their confidence in it), Acts 15:7.

As the first century church of Jesus Christ grew, differences emerged between churches and their leaders. Rather than sweep this under the rug by ignoring it, the apostles and disciples met in Jerusalem to come to some sort of a resolution. Rather than force Jewish practices upon newly converted Gentiles to Christianity, a couple of key Mosiac laws were recommended to follow.

And God, Who is acquainted with and understands the heart, bore witness to them, giving them the Holy Spirit as He also did to us; 9 And He made no difference between us and them, but cleansed their hearts by faith ([d]by a strong and welcome conviction that Jesus is the Messiah, through Whom we obtain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God), Acts 15:8-9.

It took a first century doctor in Luke to point out that God knows and understands human hearts. Meanwhile, an individual described by one prophet as a man after God’s own heart experienced one trial that opened his spiritual eyes, Psalm 34:18. Don’t try to be a hero by wanting to figure out everything on your own. Let go and let God heal your wounded heart.

by Jay Mankus

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Seeing and Listening to the Anguish of Souls

Posted on September 27, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As a former high school coach and teacher, I was always drawn to students who didn’t look like their normal self. As someone who struggled with depression as a child, I didn’t want these teenagers to slip through the cracks as I did for many years. Subsequently, I made it my daily goal to see and listen to the anguish of souls displayed on the faces of my students.

And they said one to another, We are truly guilty about our brother, for we saw the distress and anguish of his soul when he begged us [to let him go], and we would not hear. So this distress and difficulty has come upon us. 22 Reuben answered them, Did I not tell you, Do not sin against the boy, and you would not hear? Therefore, behold, his blood is required [of us]. 23 But they did not know that Joseph understood them, for he spoke to them through an interpreter. 24 And he turned away from them and wept; then he returned to them and talked with them, and took from them Simeon and bound him before their eyes, Genesis 42:21-24.

There are countless books on the earthly life of Jesus. These resources point to Jesus as man in human flesh. Yet, one of Jesus’ greatest gifts was his ability to see and listen to the anguish of souls. Upon reaching rock star status as the leader of the 12 disciples, Jesus never ignored the anguish displayed on a stranger’s face, especially a child.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their distress and troubles. 18 The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow for sin and are humbly and thoroughly penitent, Psalm 34:17-18.

David touches on God’s character and nature in the passage above. The context of this occurs after David pretended to be insane before Abimelech. David’s heart and mind wasn’t in a good place at this time in his life. Subsequently, these emotions led David to remember the promises of God in the Old Testament: to be close to the broken hearted and heal those crushed in Spirit. May these words prompt you to begin to look and listen to the anguish of souls which surround you daily.

by Jay Mankus

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Signs of a Comforting God

Posted on June 18, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Whenever anyone is suffering from depression, there is a tendency to put blinders on; only seeing the negative aspects of life. From my own personal experiences as a teenager, part of me wanted sympathy from my peers. Unfortunately, I was too immature and didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. Subsequently, I wasn’t looking for signs from a comforting God.

And Jacob lived with Rachel also as his wife, and he loved Rachel more than Leah and served [Laban] another seven years [for her]. 31 And when the Lord saw that Leah was despised, He made her able to bear children, but Rachel was barren, Genesis 29:30-31.

Based upon the words of Moses in today’s featured passage, Leah was suffering from envy and jealousy. If you want to put her feelings into a more visual context, Rachel received Jacob’s full attention. Meanwhile, Leah was an afterthought, getting whatever energy Jacob had left over from his daily encounters with Rachel. As each day wore on, Leah began to feel dead inside her soul.

And Leah became pregnant and bore a son and named him Reuben [See, a son!]; for she said, Because the Lord has seen my humiliation and affliction; now my husband will love me. 33 [Leah] became pregnant again and bore a son and said, Because the Lord heard that I am despised, He has given me this son also; and she named him Simeon [God hears]. 34 And she became pregnant again and bore a son and said, Now this time will my husband be a companion to me, for I have borne him three sons. Therefore he was named Levi [companion]. 35 Again she conceived and bore a son, and she said, Now will I praise the Lord! So she called his name Judah [praise]; then [for a time] she ceased bearing, Genesis 29:32-35.

During this time of despair, Leah cried out to the Lord for some sort of help to endure the pain inside her heart. The first answer Leah received was in the form of a son named Reuben. From Leah’s perspective, the Lord has seen her affliction and granted her a sign of comfort. When Leah was blessed with 2 more boys, God removed her pain by replacing it with a Spirit of praise. This is one of many signs in the Bible of a comforting God.

by Jay Mankus

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When Depression Overtakes Your Mind

Posted on April 1, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness as well as a loss of interest. When depression begins to overtake human minds, there is a tendency to isolate oneself. Meanwhile, as you allow yourself to fall into one of these emotional slumps, your mind starts to expect the worst in every situation. Subsequently, a spirit of hopelessness can fill your soul, coming to the conclusion that all is lost.

So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a bottle of water and gave them to Hagar, putting them on her shoulders, and he sent her and the [c]youth away. And she wandered on [aimlessly] and lost her way in the wilderness of Beersheba. 15 When the water in the bottle was all gone, Hagar caused the youth to lie down under one of the shrubs. 16 Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about a bowshot, for she said, Let me not see the death of the lad. And as she sat down opposite him, [d]he lifted up his voice and wept and she raised her voice and wept, Genesis 21:14-16.

Based upon the description of Hagar’s emotional condition in the passage above, Moses senses a woman’s dire belief that her baby boy is going to die. There wasn’t a clinic or emergency room available. Nor was there an app or cell phone to place a prescription online to numb Hagar’s pain. Hagar did want anyone in her position could do, cry out to God above as a last resort, praying for a miracle.

My son, forget not my law or teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; 2 For length of days and years of a life [worth living] and tranquility [inward and outward and continuing through old age till death], these shall they add to you. 3 Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness] and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart. 4 So shall you find favor, good understanding, and high esteem in the sight [or judgment] of God and man, Proverbs 3:1-4.

I battled manic depression throughout Junior High and High School. Each night for several years, I cried myself to sleep, wondering if my stuttering would ever end. Unfortunately, the older I get, life becomes more complicated which enables depression to return. As I experience failure after failure in my attempt to begin a new career in South Carolina, depression has overtaken me again. I’m not sure how many more rejections I can bear, but King Solomon provides instructions on trusting God. May this passage shine light into the darkness of depression. As for now, all I can do is pray for each new day.

by Jay Mankus

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Beer-lahai-roi

Posted on February 20, 2023 by expressyourself4him

The first mention of beer in the Bible has nothing to do with alcohol. Rather, beer is the name of a special well where one depressed woman was touched by God. Beer-lahai-roi is the name of a well located between Kadesh and Bered. Hagar was Sarai’s maidservant who ran away from home after being mistreated. Jealousy of the baby in her womb, Sarai mentally and verbally harassed Hagar to the point of tears. Unable to take these emotional scars, Hagar left thinking it was for the best.

Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi [A well to the Living One Who sees me]; it is [c]between Kadesh and Bered, Genesis 16:14.

Whenever you’re alone, crying out to an invisible God seems to be a logical thing to do. While Moses doesn’t specify how many months Hagar had been pregnant, it’s enough to see an expanded belly. Depressed, lonely and in the middle of the wilderness, Hagar cries out to God for help. Based upon the words in the passage above, Hagar was blown away by how the Lord was able to hear and see the pain she felt inside her heart.

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. 12 Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you, Jeremiah 29:11-12.

I have days just like Hagar, feeling lonely and helpless, unsure of my future. While I know the Lord can see my pain, I’m still waiting for a response. Perhaps, I’m like the person one Old Testament Prophet writes about in Isaiah 1. Clarity doesn’t come until confession is followed by a contrite heart. While living in Delaware, one of the Bible Studies I attended talked about spiritual blockage, which prevents clarity. Whatever the reason for my current spiritual condition, I pray that one day soon I’ll have a similar experience as Hagar at the well of Beer-lahai-roi.

by Jay Mankus

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Who is There to Hurt You?

Posted on March 10, 2022 by expressyourself4him

While anxiety is less intense than fear, stress tends to be a more sustained emotional response than phobias. Although human beings may be threatened by overreaching and power-hungry individuals, inner demons are often your own worst enemy. Anyone who has ever experienced an anxiety attack, know the overwhelming feeling you endure and how it can interfere with your daily life.

Now who is there to hurt you if you are [d]zealous followers of that which is good? – 1 Peter 3:13

Since my days at Hanby Junior High School in Wilmington, Delaware, I’ve turned to music to find comfort and hope. Whenever I was sad, I’d listen to Air Supply or Chicago which made me even more depressed. Perhaps this empty feeling eventually drew me to only listen to Christian music. While in college, a friend introduced me to punk rock and a group called the Altar Boys. The emptiness I once experienced was replaced by a quiet confidence thanks to the song “When I’m with God.”

But even in case you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, [you are] blessed (happy, to be envied). Do not dread or be afraid of their threats, nor be disturbed [by their opposition], 1 Peter 3:14.

No matter how big, tall or old you may be, there is always someone faster, stronger and smarter. Despite all of the new threats that you may experience, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ has eased many of my anxieties in life. Like the words of one of Jesus’ disciples in the passage above, who is there to hurt you if you are passionately following the Lord? No one likes hardships, persecution or trials, but when I’m with God my fears tend to fade away. Place your hope in Jesus today, Romans 10:9-11.

by Jay Mankus

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Multiple and Don’t Dillydally

Posted on December 15, 2021 by expressyourself4him

I was first introduced by the idiom dillydally by one of my Junior High teachers. This woman hated to lose valuable class time, regularly pointing out to her class this wretched behavior. Yet, this term dates back to the Middle Ages. Dilly-dally is a reduplication of dally, referring to loitering or spending time idly. According to the OED, dilly-dally first appeared in literature around 1741.

Build yourselves houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat the fruit of them. 6 Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not be diminished, Jeremiah 29:5-6.

While Israel was living in exile, forced to reside in Babylon, many longed to be back in their homeland. Based upon the passage above, many Israelites were seen moping around, unable to come to grips with their current dilemma. Like teenagers loitering at a local mall, God sent the prophet Jeremiah to give everyone a pep talk. The best way to summarize this message is “multiple and don’t dillydally.”

Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a city and spend a year there and carry on our business and make money. 14 Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air], James 4:13-14.

Jesus’ earthly brother proclaimed that life is too short to dwell on the past. Whenever you let depression suck the joy out of life, you’ll never get back the time you’ve lost wishing you were someone else or some other place. The time for moping is over for me. Instead of dillydallying in this or that, seize each day like it’s your last. Dwell where the Lord has planted you, making the most of the hours you have left on earth.

by Jay Mankus

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Guilt by Comparison

Posted on December 8, 2020 by expressyourself4him

Guilt by Association dates back to 1525 as a Medieval Latin expression. However, the idea that an individual is guilty of a crime because he associates with the person who actually committed it can be found in the Bible. While Eve actually ate the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, Adam was right there with her the whole time, Genesis 3:6-7. One chapter later, Cain is the first to experience guilt by comparison.

And in the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground. 4 And Abel brought of the firstborn of his flock and of the fat portions. And the Lord had respect and regard for Abel and for his offering, Genesis 4:3-4.

Whenever individuals begin to believe that the grass is greener on the other side where someone else resides, envy and jealousy is conceived. The saying “grass is always greener on the other side” originated in the 19th century. The more you compare your own life to a family member, friend or neighbor, guilt can consume your soul by wishing you had this or that. When Cain realized how hard it was to be a farmer, the comparisons began.

But for Cain and his offering He had no respect or regard. So Cain was exceedingly angry and indignant, and he looked sad and depressed. 6 And the Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? And why do you look sad and depressed and dejected? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it, Genesis 4:5-7.

Cain’s guilt from comparison leads to a one on one conversation with God. Trying to figure out why Abel’s offering was embraced by God while his was rejected results in anger, depression and frustration. In response to Cain’s displeasure, God reveals how guilt by comparison has lead to an internal struggle. When sin crouches at your door, you must resist or else guilt will ravage your life. Instead of wanting what you don’t have, appreciate all the little things that God has blessed you with in life.

by Jay Mankus

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When You Lose the Desire to Sing

Posted on December 3, 2020 by expressyourself4him

Over the course of my life, there were several years that I never wanted to end as I was having the time of my life. Other years can be best described by “blah, ho hum or nothing special.” However, as December begins and a New Year approaches, most Americans are ready now to turn the page on 2020. Between the Coronavirus, countless deaths, a troubled economy and whatever else you have endured, finding something to sing about is tough.

By the rivers of Babylon, there we [captives] sat down, yes, we wept when we [earnestly] remembered Zion [the city of our God imprinted on our hearts]. 2 On the willow trees in the midst of [Babylon] we hung our harps, Psalm 137:1-2.

The Psalmist writes about a similar period in his own life. The forced detention of Jews to Babylonia following the conquest of the kingdom of Judah began in 598. This exile would last a total of 12 years, removing the wind beneath the wings of this harp player. After being removed from their beloved land, musicians lost their desire to play an instrument. Subsequently, harps were abandoned, hung in nearby willow trees in Babylon.

For there they who led us captive required of us a song with words, and our tormentors and they who wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion. 4 How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a strange land? 5 If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its skill [with the harp]. 6 Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth if I remember you not, if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy! – Psalm 137:3-6.

People listen to music for a variety of reasons. Some listen as a form of entertainment, others to pass the time or seek inspiration from a particular song or genre of music. While music can sooth human souls as in the case of King Saul in 1 Samuel 16, depressing music can plant troubling thoughts. Whenever I am depressed, I rely on certain songs to uplift my mood. Yet, when you lose the desire to sing, come to Jesus to lighten your load, Matthew 11:28-30.

by Jay Mankus

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