Tag Archives: losing

The Hidden Blessing of Losing

Posted on June 2, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Over the last few decades, there has been a movement to shield young people from losing.  Whether its schools moving toward pass fail grading, youth sports attempting to not keep score or the idea that everyone should get a participation award, this notion is actually hurting children in the long run.  Whatever the reason for this trend, teenagers need to experience the hidden blessing of losing.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, James 1:2.

Losing often serves as a barometer, highlighting deficiencies that you possess.  Perhaps, you are not good enough.  Maybe, others wanted it more, worked harder than you or are simply more talented.  Either way, any type of loses provide life lessons to strengthen your character.  Some where between your last defeat and the next competition, time has a way of revealing what led to a loss and what you could do in the future to insure victory.

Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, James 1:3.

One year ago, my son James was heart broken after finishing 4th in the state in the pole vault.  Six months later, that pain reappeared, missing the medal stand once again by one place at the winter track state meet.  However, these loses fueled a desire to not let this happen again.  Thus, one week ago James not only reached the summit, winning the state pole vault title, he also led his track team to a state championship.  In the disappointment of defeat, individuals will find the hidden blessings of losing.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

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Where Did Optimism Go?

Posted on October 20, 2015 by expressyourself4him

If you want to get a pulse on how people are doing today, just listen to a group of unhappy teenagers.  Although being around a losing team, the down trodden and less fortunate may paint an inaccurate picture, spirits of optimism seem to be disappearing.  Whether its listening to the rants of co-workers, observing body language or viewing a news telecast, negativity is taking over.

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals,” 1 Corinthians 15:33.

When I was younger, during my junior high years, I battled depression.  Maybe this is normal, a phase of adolescence, yet positivity was lacking from my life.  I guess you could say I was a Debbie downer, able to suck the life out of any room that I entered.  Until one of my classmates committed suicide in eighth grade, life didn’t seem worth living.

Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, Proverbs 22:24.

However, sometime between eighth and tenth grade, a series of events led me out of this negative mentality.  A teacher, youth group and spirit of emptiness set the stage for rebirth.  While I resisted change for two years, my heart wasn’t ready to accept Christ until the world dealt me a hand of disappointment.  Perhaps, optimism remains invisible today until the Holy Spirit breathes new life into dead and dying souls.  God willing, this trend of pessimism will be reversed to spawn a revival of optimism.

by Jay Mankus

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Euphoria and Misfortune

Posted on May 30, 2015 by expressyourself4him

Whether you’re participating in a competition, watching a game or witnessing an accident, emotions vary depending upon the outcome.  Winning elicits smiles, encourages applause and promotes praise from those in the attendance.  Meanwhile, losing can trigger tears to flow, depression to linger and disappointment to reside within heartbroken souls.  Thus, anytime someone experiences euphoria, misfortune will visit those on the opposing side.

So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed, Mark 5:20.

The gospel of Mark contains one of the first exorcisms ever recorded.  Although there isn’t any evidence of this man’s head twisting around like Hollywood’s version, the demon possessed man exhibited super human strength.  Nonetheless, as Jesus performed another miracle, John 21:25, few people recognize the misfortune of this pig farmer.  Two thousands pigs is a lot of bacon, pork and income lost.  Without any warning, an entire life’s savings was gone, floating away like the devastation citizens of Texas are coping with following historic flooding.

Those tending the pigs ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened, Mark 5:14.

As the summer approaches, the weather will cause business owners to either praise God or curse Him.  Beach resorts are hoping for sunny and warm weekends while farmers pray for rain to water their arid fields.  Though car washes and golf courses long for dry skies, shopping malls wouldn’t mind an afternoon shower to fill up their stores.  Whatever happens, euphoria will come to the victors and misfortune to the defeated as this roller coaster of emotions will continue until your time on earth comes to an end.  Therefore, prepare yourself for every situation with the calming force of prayer, Philippians 4:6-7.

by Jay Mankus

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Life Could Be Worse…You Could Be a 76er Fan

Posted on December 7, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Nobody likes to lose.  Although, some players and teams don’t have the talent to compete with the rest of their competitors, sooner or later a victory will arrive.  Unfortunately, fans of the Philadelphia 76ers in the NBA might not see a win in 2014, 0-17 with little hope in sight.

The unemployed likely experience a similar feeling.  Despite perfecting resumes, nailing job interviews and becoming a finalist for a position, heart breaks come way too often.  The sad thing is when the offers do arrive, the pay is like a slap in the face.  In the end, job seekers wonder if they will ever get another job.

When things aren’t going your way, there needs to be something firm that you can trust in.  A refuge where you can find a peace that surpasses all understanding.  James 1:2-4 suggests losing builds character, leading to maturity over time.  If you can develop this mindset, perseverance can carry you until you taste success.  Therefore, whether you win, lose or draw, the Holy Spirit can transform your perspective to become a complete person in Christ.

by Jay Mankus

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Pin the Detail or Be the Donkey

Posted on May 24, 2014 by expressyourself4him

As a coach whose youth baseball team has lost 13 in a row without a win this season, I’ve run out of words to say.  Pregame, in game and post game speeches have been ineffective as the losses continue to mount.  Unless I point each player toward the details they are failing to address, I’ll be the donkey in pain.

Whether its running through first base, charging soft hit balls or following through on every throw, children will never develop the instincts to be a great ball player until they practice like they want to play.  Athletic talent only takes individuals so far.  Once you reach a certain age, repetition is necessary or hungrier teammates will surpass your God given ability.  Catching, hitting and throwing involves reps, technique and situational drills to prepare players for the heat of the moment during a game.  If you pin the details into the minds of youth, the less likely brain cramps will occur in the form of mental mistakes.

In the game of life, there are plenty of life skills absent from youth, adolescents and adults.  If knowledge isn’t applied, information will be lost and maturity will be stunted.  James 1:2-4 highlights the drive required to become a complete and all-around citizen.  Tests occur on the field of life to teach souls to persevere and not to give up despite how many times you lose.  These experiences produces life lessons that lead to maturity.  If you follow the words of Galatians 6:9-10, a harvest of success is waiting for you down the road.  Focus on the details or in the end you will be the donkey!

by Jay Mankus

 

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When You’ve Got Nothing Left to Give

Posted on February 23, 2014 by expressyourself4him

In the film National Treasure, Nicolas Cage plays Benjamin Gates, a treasure hunter with a tarnished reputation.  Despite trying to warn authorities, no one takes his threat serious, that the Declaration of Independence is in danger.  In life, there are times when you reach a similar fate, when you’ve done everything you can think of, with nothing else to give.

The apostle Paul refers to these moments in life as periods of humility, 2 Corinthians 12:7-8.  When you’re successful most of the time, individuals have a tendency to steal the spotlight from God by saying, “look at me!”  Whether you’re watching the Olympics, professional sports and a high school game, the victor receives the spoils.  However, behind the cameras, the losers are forced to face the fact they’re got good enough, with nothing left to give except reflecting on what went wrong.

Today, I find myself at the bottom of the barrel, leaning on the words of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.  As much as I want to be magically healed and return to work now, I am stuck with an aging imperfect body which need times to be restored.  Thus, I have nothing else to give except time.  In my weakness, Christ needs to be strong, to carry me through the frustration of being helpless.  When you’ve got nothing left to give, lean on God’s power to lift you up each time you fall!

by Jay Mankus

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The Sound of Defeat

Posted on February 1, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Silence, groans and hushed voices are just a few signs of losing.  Meanwhile, body language slumps, slows down and expresses defeat without a word.  On Sunday evening, around 9:45 pm Eastern Standard Time, the sound of defeat will visit one sideline after the final seconds tick off the clock in Super Bowl XLVIII.  As confetti falls, cameras flash and reporters get their microphones ready to interview the champions, the loser will slip away in obscurity, pondering what might have been.

In the arena of life, the sound of defeat is less subtle.  Sure, there will always be Debbie downers and depressed Davids, yet most will hide their emotions until no one is around or only their family is in view.  However, in sports, the agony of defeat occurs under a microscope, often with life shattering results.  Skip Dillard went to prison because he missed 1 free throw in an NCAA Basketball Tournament Game as a star for the Depaul Blue Demons.  Tonya Harding turned to thuggery in an attempt to win an Olympic Gold medal in figure skating.  Finally, Donavon McNabb, upchucked as the closing moments of the Super Bowl got too big for him, beyond what he could handle.

In biblical times, there was a different sound heard by Joshua and Moses as each had their own suspicion.  From afar, Joshua heard what sounded like the sound of war in Exodus 32:17.  Stepping in like a Jedi Knight, playing a similar role to Yoda, Moses corrects this young rising star, “It’s not the sound of victory, it’s the sound of defeat;” Exodus 32:18.”  Perhaps Moses understood the concept of 1 Corinthians 9:24-25, with 1 winner and multiple losers.  Therefore, instead of resting in a pit of despair, pick your head up out of the gutter and focus on a crown that will last forever so that the sound of defeat doesn’t cripple your soul for a lifetime.

by Jay Mankus

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Perfect No More

Posted on January 21, 2014 by expressyourself4him

As a youth pastor living in Columbus, Indiana, I spent many hours of my free time attending high school sporting events.  To support members of my youth group, I often traveled to cross country invitationals, cheering on the girls team of Columbus North which was usually perfect leading up to the state meet.  Unfortunately, Kokomo’s team, just east of Indianapolis seemed to have their number, falling a few places short of perfection.  Across town, Ashley was on the fast track to make the Olympics, never losing a high meet until the state finals her junior year, swimming for Columbus East.  Winning all of her qualifying races, Ashley was invincible until 1 bad flip turn cost her, staring at the scoreboard revealed a 3rd place finish, heart broken and perfect no more.

Several years later, I had the pleasure to coach high school golf for 10 seasons.  My first crop of athletes were destined for greatness as one is now a P.G.A. professional and the other is flirting with the mini-tours.  Experiencing growing pains my first 2 seasons, one of my golfers didn’t taste defeat until his senior season.  Sure, John had lost to other golfers in AJGA events, yet he was undefeated in match play.  Playing as an 8th grader, John regularly shocked and surprised seniors.  Strangely enough, John lost his final 2 matches 5 years later, as Goliath was beaten and perfect no more.

The average athlete tastes defeat every season, forced to cope with losing.  Regardless of the level or sport, only 1 team or individual is crowned a champion, leaving every one else a loser.  When trials come, one of 2 outcomes occur: individuals become mentally tough or visibly shaken as confidence and the memory of victory fades.  While perfection is unattainable on earth, Jesus urges his followers to set lofty goals, Matthew 5:48.  The words of the apostle Paul are a good starting point for those looking to pick up the pieces of their ego, Philippians 3:13.  Since you can’t change or control past results, “forget what is behind and look forward to that which is ahead!”

by Jay Mankus

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Check Mate

Posted on July 9, 2013 by expressyourself4him

I always was more of a checkers kind of guy, but chess was something I attempted on my computer.  As a novice and mere amateur, I often made illegal moves, getting beeped at by the game, reset to my initial position.  Losing most of the times, I approved to the point of being respectable.  However, from a coaching perspective, I have embraced the chess like concept of putting your pieces, (players) in the right position to win or force an opponent to say, “check mate.”

Psalm 149:4 unlocks a secret to success in life.   According to the Psalmist, God delights in his people.  In fact, the Lord crowns those who are humble with salvation.  Instead of boasting or trash talking in the middle of a contest, God wants individuals to just play the game of life, whether you win or lose.  While the devil may back you into a corner or take out several of your pawns, God has the final move.  Just when Lucifer thought he was about to taste victory, Jesus rose from the grave, Colossians 2:13-15, pronouncing “Check Mate” on his former angel.

Beyond this world lies a spiritual dimension where angels and demons perform a battle for eternity.  Prayer fuels angelic beings while idleness empowers satanic strongholds.  This chess match will continue until Jesus returns, Matthew 24:42-44 or you breathe your last breath.  Despite how bad your board looks, fight until the very end, 1 Timothy 6:12.  Place your trust in the promise of Psalm 149:4, crowned by the Lord with eternal life.

by Jay Mankus

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God’s Consolation Prize

Posted on May 16, 2013 by expressyourself4him

Finishing second stinks, especially when are so close you can taste victory, only to have it slip out of your hands.  Losing can be just as painful if you are a finalist for an open position only to receive a dear John letter or worse yet, the silence of not receiving a courtesy call.  Professional athletes who fail to win a title often say there is only one champion, everyone else are losers.  Unfortunately, history fails to remember those who almost succeeded or nearly won, unless you enjoy seeing runner up banners.

Like game shows that give out consolation prizes for contestants failing to win anything, God devotes a portion of scripture to such a scenario.  According to 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, the apostle Paul recognized that only one runner in each event of the Corinthian Games, a pre – Olympic competition,  went home with a crown, first century trophy.  God wants each participant in life to treat each day like a new race, giving each one their best.  Therefore, whether you win or lose, you can sleep good at night knowing your actions glorified God on that day.

The Psalmist also comments on consolation prizes.  Psalm 94:18-19 refers to someone who has had a rough day, slipping and about to fall.  Held up by love, God provides consolation to this individual in the form of joy within their soul.  Thus, if you are having a bad day like me, may be you can find solace in this passage, claiming it for yourself as a personal prayer!  Keep your head up, shake off defeat and get back up for round 2, with the God who avenges wrong on your side, Psalm 94:1.

by Jay Mankus

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