Tag Archives: parenting

Time After Time… God Forgives

On June 9th, 1984, Time After Time, the second single released from Cindi Lauper’s “She’s So Unusual” album hit #1 on the Billboard Top 100 Charts.  Thirty years later, these lyrics still speaks to individuals searching for forgiveness, patience or mercy.  Whether you’re a parent like me, a friend struggling to understand a wayward soul or reminiscing about brighter days, these words provide hope.

One day, a music director began to experience flash backs, like a scene from Back to the Future.  However, in this case, God was reminding Asaph about Israel’s days in Egypt.  Based upon the length of Psalm 78, this vivid vision brought understanding to 400 years of slavery.  Upon reaching freedom, Israel became like a misguided child unable to break bad habits, falling prey to the same sins time after time.  Despite their actions, God withheld his wrath, forgiving, time after time, Psalm 78:36-38.

Today, an unforgiving world, constantly reminding you of past transgressions makes it difficult to believe that an unseen Creator can actually wipe your slate clean.  Despite how many times you’ve failed in life, the Lord demonstrates unconditional love, Psalm 103:11-12.  In view of this truth, don’t let this opportunity slip away.  Rather, practice James 5:16 daily so that like Cindi Lauper’s song, God will forgive time after time.

by Jay Mankus

 

So That’s Where It Comes From

Adults have different styles of communication, producing a wide range of reactions, even within their own children.  The authoritarian will claim, “this is the way its always been so there is no highway option.”  Meanwhile the laissez faire, who are often soft spoken will allow flexibility, offering little resistance to correction.  This broad spectrum of coaching, parenting  and or teaching leaves a gap, with many blanks to fill in between to properly convey crucial information.

As I child, I remember hearing daily pleas such as “wash your hands, brush your teeth and think before you speak.”  Maybe I was naive, but I never questioned or wondered why these things were so important.  I simply assumed by father knew best so I tried my best to follow directions.  While reading the Old Testament last week, I stumbled upon the source of my dad’s first command, Leviticus 15:11.

Before the invention of microscopes, God understood how germs spread.  Thus, to combat this concern, the Lord told Moses to tell the Israelites to wash their hands after going to the bathroom or before eating.  Although Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has influenced many to go to extremes, washing your hands is a simple way to remain healthy.  As Paul Harvey says in his famous radio deliveries, “Now you know, the rest of the story!”

What commands do you recall from your childhood?

by Jay Mankus

 

Boundaries, Bounties and Blown Opportunities

I witnessed a pastor go old school today, committing what some may call social suicide.  Taking no prisoners, this man of the cloth convicted households who display little boundaries or prefer to be their child’s best friend.  When parents don’t say no, define acceptable perimeters or clarify right from wrong behavior for their children, kids become one with the world.  Instead of being transformed by the word of God, Romans 12:1-2, teenagers are becoming like dust in the wind, blown from one trend to the next.

Today, more than ever, society has been turned upside down, just watch any commercial airing in prime time which ties sex to their products.  In the Wild West, cities and town offered bounties for anyone who were able to help authorities catch a criminal wanted for a hideous act.  If only an entrepreneur had enough money to offer rewards for good behavior, perhaps this country might return to its Judeo-Christian heritage.  Unfortunately, lines drawn in the sand keep moving, enforced differently by the government, leaders and schools, resulting in a generation of confusion.

From my own perspective, its frustrating to look back on all the blown opportunities I missed as a father.  Depression, fatigue and time have chipped away the standards I want to consistently uphold for my family.  Although I would like to turn the clock back, all I can do is look to history to avoid future failures.  Essentially, I need to become a Moses’ like figure, clearly communicating God desires for daily living, Exodus 19:3-6.  The best advice for anyone wrestling with parenting is found in Proverbs 22:6, “train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  May the words of the Bible provide blueprints for youth and adults struggling to identify absolutes, Psalm 119:105.

by Jay Mankus

Spirit Led; Not Technology Driven

If any of you are a parent or grand parent, perhaps you shake your head as I do watching teens stare at their game systems and cell phones instead of engage in an actual conversation.  Beside sending your kids outside to play, I’m afraid this generation is being led by the spirit of technology.  Sure, the technology misfits like me need their oldest to get most gadgets around the house to work, but isn’t there something parents can do to develop healthy communication skills?

Before ascending to heaven, Acts 1:9-11, Jesus promised to send a counselor to guide people through life.  While Pentecostals often make the mistake of limiting the Spirit of God to spiritual gifts mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12 and 14, the apostles provide clues to become driven by the Holy Spirit.  Philip kept his head up after hearing the Holy Spirit’s still small voice in Acts 8:29, eventually leading an Egyptian to faith in Christ.  Meanwhile, Paul sensed in his heart to avoid visiting Asia on a missionary journey as God’s Spirit kept him from entering their cities, Acts 16:7.

One of the greatest clues left behind is found in Galatians 5.  Inside each human being, there is a war between good and evil as the acts of the sinful nature, Galatians 5:19-21 battle fruits of the Holy Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23.  As modern technology drives souls to feed their fleshly desires, an invisible forces seeks to intervene, urging individuals to stay on the course of faith.  The key to overcoming today’s technology driven culture is found in Galatians 5:25.  By tuning into God, with eyes and ears alert and open, the apostle Paul suggests you can keep in step with the Holy Spirit.  Therefore, if you emulate this spiritual practice, you will provide a blue print for loved ones to become Spirit led, not technology driven.

by Jay Mankus

Forgiven… Not Excused

One of my weakest areas as a high school teacher was consistently disciplining students by the same standards day in and day out.  When I was in a good mood, I tended to be more patient, forgiving or overlooking acts I normally confronted or punished.  Meanwhile, if I was frustrated or irritated by a previous class, the wrath of Mr. Mankus came down in full force, kicking students out of class or sending several willing participants to after school detention.  In a sense, my goal was to communicate the message, “you’re forgiven, yet not excused for your behavior.

 

As a parent, this struggle has become more complicated as my kids have grown up and become too comfortable to their laid back dad.  Whenever I try to corral them toward a desired behavior, I receive sarcasm, creating a chain of laughter at my dinner table.  Discipline is like an art form which requires discernment, firmness and a set of values to abide by.  Bribing my children doesn’t work as well as it once was, spanking only worked when they were younger and yelling is too exhausting.  Although I am imperfect, all I can do is strive to live out Proverbs 22:6, proclaiming, “you’re forgiven by not excused from your actions.”

John 8:1-11 contains a woman whose hand in caught in the cookie jar of sin.  Before the days of judges and juries, the religious leaders were old school, taking action right away.  Interrupting Jesus’ teaching, the Pharisees were eager to apply the law of Moses, seeking the death penalty for the adulterer.  Thinking of his journey to the cross, Jesus turned his attention to perfection, looking for the guiltless to pick up the first stone.  Writing down the sins of the people in the crowd in the sand, the accusers leave one by one, dropping their rocks on their way home.  Although the crowd fled, Jesus didn’t let the woman off easy.  John 8:11 implies once you ask God for forgiveness, an act of contrition is necessary.  Jesus loves you just the way you are, but cares enough to move you beyond sin.  Therefore, the next time you receive forgiveness, God expects genuine repentance, turning 180 degrees toward Him, leaving sinful ways in the rear view mirror.

by Jay Mankus

Loose Lips Sink Ships

In the 1900’s, American families for the most part shared a common parenting trait.  Either mom, dad or both parents reminded children weekly of the motto, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t open your mouth.”  While variations of this expression existed, the heart of the matter involves the biblical principle inside of Ephesians 4:29.  Just of loose lips sink ships, unwholesome words directed at another individual grieves the Holy Spirit according to Ephesians 4:30.

As a parent of 3 children, each 3 years apart, siblings rivalries are alive in my household whether I like it or not.  Sarcasm, teasing and untimely words are a daily threat to tear down self esteem, self confidence and a spiritual connection with God.  Therefore, it is essential for parents to remind their children of passages like Proverbs 14:3.  When a child or student can associate or tie their words directly to a specific punishment, wisdom might be found before its too late or before their own ship sinks.

Jesus’ own brother James, highlights the power of words in his letter to Christian’s scattered throughout the world following Nero’s persecution in the 60’s AD.  James 3:3-6 magnifies the force of a word, comparing the tongue with fire.  Like Smokey the Bear in his public service announcements airing as commercials, “only you can prevent verbal forest fires!”  As Facebook, Twitter and other outlets of social media continue to explode, make sure you practice self-discipline before you press send.  If not, you could be the next Manti Te’O.  Therefore, tighten the reigns of your own tongue before loose lips result in another titanic disaster.

by Jay Mankus

Realigning the Stars

On the last night of the 3 Magi’s journey from the East, the star they had been following became stationary, hovering over the birth site of Jesus, Matthew 2:9-10.  One final night of glory, this unique star completed its purpose, gradually fizzling out like those created before it.  According to the Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram, they are 7 main types of stars based upon their color and luminosity.  The star which appeared in the sky above Bethlehem on that glorious night falls under the O or B classification, the rarest and brightest of all the stars in the universe.  Once a star depletes its hydrogen supply, they are downgraded and this declassification is a signal that their end is near.  In entertainment, Hollywood or professional sports, as one stars falls, another is in the background, ready to quickly steal their spotlight.

On March 14th, 1981, one such star destined for greatness was snuffed out.  Skip Dillard was a free throw away from becoming a top 10 pick in the NBA Draft, as his #1 ranked Depaul Blue Demons were on their way into the Sweet 16 of the NCAA Basketball Tournament, referred to as March Madness today.  In the days of endless One and One’s, St. Joseph’s of Philadelphia kept fouling Depaul players late in the second half, who then began missing the front end, their first shot, allowing the Hawks to rebound the ball after only one free throw attempt.  As Depaul’s big lead shrunk to one in the closing seconds, all Skip had to do was make one shot at the line to secure a tie, prior to the existence of 3 pointers and two free throws to close out the game.  Called “Money in the Bank” by his teammates, Skip’s shot fell short, St. Joe’s rebounded the miss, got the ball quickly up court and made a shot at the buzzer to stun Depaul.  This nightmare became reality for Skip who responded to this setback by becoming addicted to cocaine and committed 15 armed robberies to support his habit, resulting in an 11 year prison sentence according to the Chicago Tribune.  College players like Magic Johnson and Larry Bird stole Skip’s fame as the media realigned the stars for these 2 NBA Hall of Famers.

When you are young, thinking you are invincible is a common mindset.  As I watch college sports on television or listen to my youth baseball players chat before and after a game, many think too highly of themselves.  Instead of being a voice of reason, parents often add to their child’s delusion, believing their daughter or son is the best player on the team.  Maybe the thought that their child’s athletic career is a lottery ticket for life instills in many parents a glimmer of hope.  However, these same parents often baby and or spoil their children, not providing an atmosphere of discipline, mental toughness and work ethic necessary to make good athletes great and elite players, stars at the college level.  If you analyze any NFL draft, its clear that talent doesn’t always translate onto the professional  level.  Thus, the degree to which someone shines lies in the choices you make and in God’s grace, Deuteronomy 28:2.

Currently. my own stardom has faded with time as my attractiveness as a youth pastor left when I reached 30.  Meanwhile, a decade of teaching has aged me another 20 years, especially during my 5 year stint teaching middle school.  Despite the fact that employers may overlook me for positions due to being too old or in some cases over qualified, I cling to the words of the apostle Paul in Philippians 2:12-16.  Though I can’t control external forces, I do have authority over my personal world according to Dutch Sheets in his book Authority in Prayer.  Thus, I am aiming to shine like a star in the universe, providing spiritual light during these dark days in American History.  I am responsible for aligning my life toward God’s will, yet only God can realign the stars in the universe!

by Jay Mankus