Tag Archives: marriage

Thankfulness in the Midst of Adversity

Posted on November 24, 2016 by expressyourself4him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNhJMoiRnis

The human spirit can handle many things in life.  When knocked down by disappointment, failure or rejection, the hope of a better future enables individuals to get up.  Yet, at some point the psyche can only take so much.  Thus, if a spirit becomes crushed, its difficult to be thankful in the midst of adversity.

The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? – Proverbs 18:14

The passage above written by King Solomon summarizes 2016 for me up to this point.  Although the start of this year went well, the ending has been like a nightmare that you can’t get out of your head.  While my screen writing project failed to be embraced by Hollywood, a more serious situation developed.  In early August, my youngest son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes that has zapped his energy.  The hardest thing for a parent is wanting to do something to make things better, yet helpless and unable to intervene.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, Philippians 4:6.

The apostle Paul provides direction for those void of a thankful heart.  When you can’t make a difference, the Lord uses prayer as a vehicle for change.  Thus, I am thankful for the life that I have, not the one I want.  Perhaps, circumstances will turn around soon as I concentrate on prayer.  Even so, I can be thankful in the midst of adversity, especially when I consider my marriage of twenty one years with Leanne which I celebrate every Thanksgiving.

by Jay Mankus

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Costing More Than Its Worth

Posted on September 15, 2016 by expressyourself4him

 

In times of crisis or natural disaster, the normal rule of law is often overlooked.  Thus, when Hurricane Katrina brought mass flooding to New Orleans, looters were rampant, taking whatever they could find and carry.  These acts of transgressions were excused as people were forced to go into survivor mode.

People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving, Proverbs 6:30.

In the days when Israel was a thriving nation, a similar mindset occurred.  Anyone thought to steal due to hunger pains wasn’t as criticized as one who committed crimes out of greed.  Nonetheless, Jewish law stated that anyone caught would have to pay back 7 times the amount stolen,  Thus, crime doesn’t pay, costing more than its worth.

Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house, Proverbs 6:31.

Solomon takes this concept one step further, comparing adultery to stealing.  This analogy is considered out of date by Hollywood, especially as the biblical concept of marriage fades from American culture.  This moral decline reveals a downward trend with no end in sight.  Despite the lack of a moral conscience, its essential to spread the word that poor decisions cost more than a moment of pleasure is worth.

by Jay Mankus

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Intoxicating

Posted on September 3, 2016 by expressyourself4him

The term intoxicating often elicits a negative connotation.  This state is achieved by allowing a foreign substance to enter your body.  Alcohol is the most common drug used which tends to excite, stimulate or stupefy individuals.  King Solomon provides a positive and negative example of intoxicating in the book of Proverbs.

A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love, Proverbs 5:19.

According to Solomon, love can be intoxicating.  While the verse above may be graphic, sex in the context of marriage is suppose to bring pleasure to you and your soul mate.  Unfortunately, some drift apart from their first love.  When this occurs, lust can lead unsatisfied partners to become intoxicated with another person’s spouse.  For those who wonder toward this dangerous place, intoxication can blind people from common sense.

Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? – Proverbs 5:20

In the New Testament, the apostle Paul chooses the Greek work pharmakia in Galatians 5:20.  This is where the English language gets the word Pharmacy.  Whenever anyone allows a drug to enter their body, you become under the influence, like someone under a spell of witchcraft.   Thus, be careful of becoming intoxicated or else you might lose your mind or something worse.

by Jay Mankus

 

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When Love Can’t Keep Us Together

Posted on June 16, 2016 by expressyourself4him

One of Captain and Tennille’s greatest hits Love Will Keep Us Together debuted in 1975.  This song was written by Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield; originally released as a single in 1973 that was sung by Sedaka.  In 1976 the song Love Will Keep Us Together reached gold status, winning a Grammy and Record of the Year.  Unfortunately, after 39 years of marriage, love couldn’t save their marriage, recently announcing their divorce.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me, 2 Corinthians 12:9.

It’s sad to see couples separate, especially ones who were examples of true love.  Along the road called life, conditions, situations and time changes individuals.  Some for the better, others for the worse and somewhere in the middle many become comfortably numb.  Like this Pink Floyd song, most turn to alternative solutions to kill their pain.  These addictions often distract loving people from caring for their spouses causing marriages to spiral out of control.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong, 2 Corinthians 12:10.

If you ever find yourself in this predicament, the apostle Paul provides some helpful advice.  Periods of weakness caused Paul to rely on the Lord’s strength.  Therefore, if you ever sense that you’re wavering, lean on Christ to give you the boost to tarry on.  Thus, if you reach a point where love won’t keep you together, pray for a will to love and a heart of forgiveness.

by Jay Mankus

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When Distractions Hinder Your Prayers

Posted on May 2, 2016 by expressyourself4him

In a letter to the church of Corinth, the apostle Paul foresaw how marriage complicates life.  Instead of getting up and doing what you want, there is someone else and if you have children, multiple voices are fighting for your attention.  Subsequently, Paul chose to live his life as a single man, limiting common distractions that can hinder your prayer life.

I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.  Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do, 1 Corinthians 7:7-8.

However, in a letter to a disciple who was married, Peter provides advice for those who are struggling to find time with God.  While some may consider this a check list, there are certain qualities necessary to roll back life’s distractions.  If you are considerate, over time this will smooth over the rough edges, leading to grace and respect.  Yet, you still have to make time, setting aside a portion of your God to spent with the Lord.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers, 1 Peter 3:7.

Sometimes, the context of a passage of the Bible loses its meaning over time.  Woman’s Right’s Groups consider this chapter to be chauvinist, not considering the modern woman.  While this topic is something I may consider in the future, each day brings with it new challenges, some expected and others a surprise.  Yet, through it all, my goal is to reach a point in my life when nothing hinders my prayers.

by Jay Mankus

 

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A Marriage Makeover

Posted on March 3, 2016 by expressyourself4him

In the beginning of this year, the Lord opened up my eyes to several areas in my life that I have neglected.  Unfortunately, my marriage of one of these, taking it for granted without putting the energy and time God desires for a Christian husband.  Thus, I’ve spent the last few weeks reflecting and praying about the best solution to revitalize my marriage.  The answer has come in the form of a marriage makeover.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25.

After having three kids, one of our favorite television shows to watch as a family was Extreme Makeover: Home Edition with Ty Pennington.  ABC and corporate sponsors gave families who were down on their luck or recovering from a loss to have a fresh start.  Movies like The Ultimate Gift and Fire Proof have added practical ideas to apply daily which individuals can alter their perspective on life and enhance their ability to love.  These influences have inspired me to put a formula for a marriage makeover into my movie script.

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord, Proverbs 19:14.

In the last two weeks, I’ve heard two sermons which have convinced me that I am on the right track.  Since a portion of my current script has a couple going through marriage counseling, I hope that I am able to communicate and portray a useful tool for struggling couples.  In a society that is trading in marriages like a used car, I pray that the final edit of Dragged Behind the Devil’s Door will be the next film to impact America in a positive manner.  Below are the themes I have woven into my script.

  1. Turn the television off and begin to create your own reality show.
  2. Invest time weekly in an activity of the others choice, talking about it over dinner or a walk so you don’t stop getting to know one another.
  3. Serve one another by stopping what you are doing to listen, love and pray together.
  4. Display unexpected acts of kindness to ignite passion and physical intimacy.

by Jay Mankus

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Films that Persuaded a Generation

Posted on January 25, 2016 by expressyourself4him

1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High

While cable television first became available in 1948, it wasn’t until the early 1980’s that the Home Box Office was made available to greater metropolitan areas.  About the same time, 1982, Fast Times at Ridgemont High was released nationally in theaters.  After going undercover in 1981 at Clairemont High in San Deigo, California, Cameron Crowe received the material he needed to complete this script.  Subsequently, this film persuaded a generation of teenagers to alter their values.  Instead of falling in love, sex became the ultimate goal of a relationship, fueling the sexual revolution that began at Woodstock.

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body, 1 Corinthian 6:18.

2. Animal House

Four years earlier, National Lampoon magazine created a movie based upon Chris Miller’s experiences as a fraternity member of Alpha Delta Phi at Dartmouth College.  Additional influences came from Harold Ramis and producer Ivan Reitman during similar encounters of fraternity life in college.  Although this comedy was meant to laugh at these endeavors, a generation of college students were inspired to emulate similar practices.  Since art often imitates life, ethics, faith and morality are being discarded or put on hold until fantasies and the pleasures of this world have been satisfied.

The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever, 1 John 2:17.

3. Fatal Attraction

This final film is geared toward adults, for those individuals who have considered, contemplated or fallen into an extramarital affair.  In the 1987 thriller, Michael Douglas hooks up with a woman, Glenn Close, when his wife and daughter are away for the weekend.  When Close becomes obsessed with Douglas, this fatal attraction takes a toll on his life and marriage.  While couples initially flocked to the theaters to salvage their marriage, conviction and guilt did not last long.  Nearly thirty years later, fatal attractions seem to be a weekly occurrence either in high schools, college or the work place.  Somewhere along the way, these three films have persuaded a generation to abandon Judeo-Christian values for humanism, secularism or to satisfy worldly desires.  May a new film or movement shift the tides of change to prevent Americans from slipping closer over the edge toward hell.

by Jay Mankus

 

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Why Blogging Should Be A Lifelong Pursuit

Posted on November 29, 2015 by expressyourself4him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAq52lBtsXc

In the second Ultimate Gift movie the narrative shifts toward the life of Red Stevens, a billionaire in the oil business.  After Jason Stevens’ girl friend abruptly leaves, Red’s grandson seeks the council of Mr. Hamilton played by Bill Hobbs, the firm’s attorney.  During this conversation Hamilton loans Jason Red’s diary, an account of his rise to the top.  Along the way, Red journals each life lesson beginning as a young teenager.  This daily exercise gave birth to the ten gifts Jason faces in the first film.

“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him,” 2 Samuel 12:4.

Another illustration of writing can be found in Fireproof starring Kirk Cameron.  When his marriage hits the skids, Caleb Holt, Kirk’s character, considers divorce until a near death encounter changes his heart.  Desperate to salvage his marriage, Caleb turns to his father for advice, who suggests following a forty day Love Dare Challenge.  Early on, Caleb goes through the motions until God transforms his heart.  Fighting a losing battle with pornography, these recorded words provide a blueprint to overcome a life void of purpose.

David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this must die! – 2 Samuel 12:5

When individuals take the time to contemplate, reflect upon life and question their beliefs, pioneers of literature are born.  During my years of taking seminary classes, I found myself drawn to Augustine of Hippo.  Augustine regularly spent time in his backyard, relaxing his mind by observing his garden.  In this quiet place, a theologian was spawn connecting the dots between life, philosophy and biblical principles.  According to Jerome, Augustine’s practice of documenting his beliefs established anew the ancient faith.

He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity, 2 Samuel 12:6.

Today, the closest thing to a diary is blogging.  Although motives for writing are different, words serve as a map of where you are, where you’re going and show where you have been.  After beginning a pursuit to become a screen writer in my free time, I thought about ending this blog, blazing a trail in a different direction.  However, during a car ride on Thanksgiving Eve, I now feel called to continue this for life.  Though my topics may be sporadic, this daily habit helps me keep in touch with my soul as I express myself for Him.

by Jay Mankus

Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!” – 2 Samuel 12:7a

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Now and Then

Posted on November 25, 2015 by expressyourself4him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNhJMoiRnis

Its hard to believe that on this day twenty years ago I married Leanne Marie Wagner.  Having a wedding in Chicago two days after Thanksgiving can be risky, at the mercy of the weather.   An unwelcomed winter storm could have arrived at any time, but on November 25th, 1995 the Lord was on our side, blessing us with sun and a fifty degree day.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord, Proverbs 18:22.

Most wedding vows include the phrase “for better or for worse.”  This term appears within the marriage service section of the Common Book of Prayer.  Published in 1549, the concept of persevering with a marriage til death due us part can be traced back to the late 1300’s.  Unfortunately, sticking with your spouse throughout one’s life get’s harder and harder as modern cultures have accepted and embrace divorce as a viable option.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25.

While premarital counseling is a good place to start, you’re never really fully prepared for marriage.  The intimacy of marriage reveals all of your imperfections, leaving individuals vulnerable, at the mercy of your mate.  In addition, time has a way of adding weight, losing luster and deteriorating parts of your body.  Anyone can be in love on their honeymoon, but true love takes an unyielding will.  Thus, now and then, I vow to keep my promise to my wife Leanne until death due us part.

by Jay Mankus

 

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Never Say Never

Posted on August 16, 2015 by expressyourself4him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1Z91YkPatw

As I reflect upon life on my birthday, I am reminded of a recent State Farm commercial.  A young man trying to play it cool professes “I’ll never get married!”  Shortly following every claim, each statement comes true.  Therefore, whether you’re young or old, never say never.

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times,” Mark 14:30.

Five years ago, I had dreams of becoming a college professor at a new community college about to open.  I thought my lone obstacle was completing my master’s degree, a third of the way through at the time.  However, financial issues squashed this from ever getting off the ground.  Six months later I was blind sided, out of a job and forced to invent myself.

But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same, Mark 14:31.

In the Bible, Peter often comes off as cocky, boldly stating that he would never deny Jesus even if all the disciples did.  A couple of days later, Peter publicly denied Jesus three times.  At the sound of a rooster crowing, Peter was reminded of his vow.  Full of regret and remorse, even the confident like Peter experience painful reminders to never say never.

by Jay Mankus

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