Tag Archives: marriage

Engaging Our Culture: July 26-Relationships that Last Forever

Posted on July 26, 2025 by expressyourself4him

Video of the Day: Clip from the 2012 movie “The Vow”

Bible Verse of the Day:

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing, 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.

Biblical Connection:

A vow is designed to be a solemn promise to God. In the context of marriage, a vow is a verbalized promise to your soul mate, in the presence of family and friends. Although I don’t recommend writing marriage vows on the back of a menu, these words display the love a couple has for one another. However, only time will tell if these words will be lived out.

As members of the Church at Corinth had internal disputes over spiritual gifts, the apostle Paul points out the one thing missing from this body of believers. As people got caught up comparing Christians based upon their gifts and talents, these actions were void of love. In the relationships that last a lifetime, love is a verb.

Closing Song:

Love is one of those words which has been perverted over the years. Love isn’t a word that shouldn’t have to be verbalized. Rather, love should be daily displayed for everyone to see.

by Jay Mankus

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Engaging Our Culture: April 1-Developing the Will to Love this Spring

Posted on April 1, 2025 by expressyourself4him

Video of the Day: Clip from the 1996 film “Twister”

Bible Verse of the Day:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Biblical Connection:

Bill Paxton and Helene Hunt are storm chasers who separated but haven’t officially become divorced. As Bill wants to remarry Jami Gertz, a twister prevents Jo, Helene Hunt, from signing the paperwork. This one twister turns into an entire weather system consistent with this time of year. As this motley crew of storm chasers follow this severe weather, Jami realizes that Helene still needs Bill. This is the context for today’s featured scene.

Before I got married to Leanne, God introduced me to the concept of having the will to love your spouse. The older I became in life, the more I witnessed parents of friends walk away from their marriage vows. After reading books like the Blessing as well as attending premarital seminars, I discovered successful marriages were fueled by a will to love. As the apostle Paul describes love to Corinthian Christians, he mentions no keeping records of wrong. The Greek word here is to keep a ledger for bookkeeping records. When couples love each other like Jesus, a will to love is conceived.

Closing Song:

If you truly want to avoid the pain of divorce, may the lyrics of today’s song inspire you to hold fast to a heritage of faith. As you do, may the Holy Spirit conceive in you and develop the will to love to this Spring.

by Jay Mankus

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Engaging Our Culture: February 6-Fighting for the Love of Your Life

Posted on February 6, 2025 by expressyourself4him

Video of the Day: Scene from the 1989 film “Say Anything”

Bible Verse of the Day:

All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. 2 I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him, Song of Solomon 3:1-3.

Biblical Connection:

John Cusack plays Lloyd Nobler a high school senior who doesn’t have a clue about his future. Searching for a date to the final party before graduation, Lloyd takes a chance on the valedictorian who reluctantly takes a break from studying. When Lloyd falls head over heels for Diane Court (Ione Skye), this relationship clicks. For the first time in his life, Lloyd finds himself able to express himself like never before to a girl. However, when this relationship gets intense, Diane choses her future career in college over Lloyd. This sets the stage for today’s scene as Lloyd fights for the love of his life.

The Song of Solomon celebrates the love between Solomon and one of his wives. The first two chapters go back and forth where Solomon shares his feelings followed by his wife in this poetic book of the Bible. Yet, today’s passage reminds all human beings that there will be nights, weeks, months and years where love will not be found. This is the emotional condition which prompts Lloyd to come back to Diane’s house after she broke off their relationship. Rather than turn to lawyers in filing for divorce, this is the resolve that Christian men and women should possess, doing everything in their power to fight for the love of their lives.

Closing Song:

May the lyrics of today’s song inspire a spirit of reconciliation to mend and repair broken relationships that exist in your life.

by Jay Mankus

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A Brief Introduction to God

Posted on November 28, 2023 by expressyourself4him

An introduction is typically a formal presentation of one person to another. This usually begins with an exchange of names that often results in a series of follow up questions. This brief introduction serves as a starting point so when you meet this individual again, conversations can be expanded into further discussions and topics.

Also He said, I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God. 7 And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters and oppressors; for I know their sorrows and sufferings and trials. 8 And I have come down to deliver them out of the hand and power of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a land good and large, a land flowing with milk and honey [a land of plenty]—to the place of the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Amorite, the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite, Exodus 3:6-8.

Just prior to his introduction to God, Moses lost his cool, killed a man and was forced to flee Egypt as Pharaoh wanted to take his life for the one that he took. Shortly after marrying the daughter of the priest of Midian, Moses was placed in charge of overseeing Jethro’s livestock. While tending to the need of these animals, God introduced himself so that He could begin to mend Moses’ heart.

 But now I am going to Him Who sent Me, yet none of you asks Me, Where are You going? 6 But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts [taken complete possession of them]. 7 However, I am telling you nothing but the truth when I say it is profitable (good, expedient, advantageous) for you that I go away. Because if I do not go away, the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby) will not come to you [into close fellowship with you]; but if I go away, I will send Him to you [to be in close fellowship with you]. 8 And when He comes, He will convict and convince the world and bring demonstration to it about sin and about righteousness (uprightness of heart and right standing with God) and about judgment: John 16:5-8.

During a private conversation with his disciples, Jesus introduces the invisible guide that will replace Him. Jesus compares the Holy Spirit to a spiritual counselor and intercessory on behalf of God. Like anything in life, once a gift is extended and offered to you, you have to receive this as your own, Romans 6:23. Or as one of Jesus’ disciples writes, after your initial introduction to God, if you want to proceed deeper, you have to open your heart so that Jesus can come in, Revelation 3:20.

by Jay Mankus

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When Souls are Crushed Beyond Repair

Posted on October 11, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As a teenager growing up in Delaware, divorce was a rare word. Out of all of my high school friends, I only knew of a few individuals who had experienced their parents’ relationship fall apart. Yet, as a teacher in a Christian school, it seemed like every week there was a couple who had decided to quit on their marriage. From time to time, students would approach me, bawling their eyes out, afraid of their future at our school and where they would live. I’ve seen with my own eyes souls crushed beyond repair.

And our father said, Go again and buy us a little food. 26 But we said, We cannot go down. If our youngest brother is with us, then we will go down; for we may not see the man’s face except our youngest brother is with us. 27 And your servant my father said to us, You know that [Rachel] my wife bore me two sons: 28 And the one went out from me, and I said, Surely he is torn to pieces, and I have never seen him since. 29 And if you take this son also from me, and harm or accident should befall him, you will bring down my gray hairs with sorrow and evil to Sheol (the place of the dead), Genesis 44:25-29.

Whenever a parent has witnessed their own child suffer harm, this can be heart breaking, especially for a mother. However, in the passage above, Moses writes about a father who had one of his sons die. This one event led Jacob to become extremely protective, not wanting to allow Benjamin to leave his sight. Apparently, Jacob appears to possess a soul that was crushed beyond repair as he was more concerned with Benjamin’s wellbeing than starving to death.

Now therefore, when I come to your servant my father and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life and his soul knit with the lad’s soul, 31 When he sees that the lad is not with us, he will die; and your servants will be responsible for his death and will bring down the gray hairs of your servant our father with sorrow to Sheol. 32 For your servant became security for the lad to my father, saying, If I do not bring him to you, then I will bear the blame to my father forever, Genesis 44:30-32.

The book Restoring the Foundations by Becky and Chester Kylstra introduced me to the term Soul/Spirit hurts. Soul/Spirit hurts are wounds to the soul, emotional hurts that individuals have yet to take time to deal with in their lives. As I read the words of Moses, Jacob had not yet overcome the pain of Joseph’s death. As a son of Korah writes Psalm 46:10, it’s a remainder that Christians need to slow down to heal broken hearts and or crushed spirits. May today’s blog help readers allow you to begin this healing process.

by Jay Mankus

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Now the Hard Work Begins

Posted on August 19, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As a young student, nothing came easy for me. Assignments that took my classmates a few minutes to complete, took me 15 minutes or more. Perhaps, this deficiency forced me to learn to grind things out at an early age. While I never became a great student, discipline and hard work propelled me to become who I am today. As newlyweds return from their honeymoon, now the hard work to become one flesh begins.

Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. 24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, Ephesians 5:22-26.

Since many first century Christians were illiterate, pastors of churches would read the apostle Paul’s letters out loud to their congregation. Based upon the words of today’s featured passage, God has high expectations for married couples. Learning to love your spouse as Christ loved the church doesn’t happen overnight. Rather, this spiritual transformation takes a lifetime of studying the Bible, prayer, and practice.

That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30 Because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, Ephesians 5:27-31.

The hardest part of any marriage is ridding your life of all of the bad habits that you’ve picked up from your parents, friends, and acquaintances. These flaws will cause you to do something or say something at the wrong time, hurting your spouse. This is what I mean by the title, “now the hard work begins.” Therefore, if you’re newly engaged or married, commit yourself to the words of Colossians 3:5-17 so that the Holy Spirit will slowly transform your life and marriage.

by Jay Mankus

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Til Death Do Us Part

Posted on August 18, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Modern marriage statistics relay a troubling trend in the United States. Depending upon what survey you reference, the current divorce rate is nearly 47%. The average length of marriage in the United States in roughly 8 years. Women file for divorce more than men, wanting out of their marriage covenant 66% of the time. Unfortunately, til death do us part is rarely being fulfilled.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate). 7 They said to Him, Why then did Moses command [us] to give a certificate of divorce and thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife? – Matthew 19:6-7

The context of today’s featured passage is a conversation between Pharisees and Jesus. A couple religious zealots tried to trick Jesus into de-emphasizing the marriage covenant. The initial question above serves as a fishing expedition. Subsequently, Jesus exposes their intentions with his response in the passage below. Jesus lays out the only escape clause with a strict consequence to consider.

He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been [b]so [ordained]. 9 I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, [c]and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery, Matthew 19:8-9.

To summarize Jesus’s comments, God’s ideal scenario is for couples to fight through the trials they will face throughout life. Some of these will be self-afflicted, usually from poor choices made by one or both spouses. Other storms that you’ll face will be out of your control. May the Lord give each of you the will to love one another so that you’ll endure til death do us part.

by Jay Mankus

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I Guess They Meant What They Said

Posted on August 15, 2023 by expressyourself4him

One of the best parts of any wedding is the reception. This gives those in attendance time to share their initial impressions of the ceremony while it’s fresh in their minds. Following my own wedding back in 1995, my wife’s mom, Barb, had a special moment with one of her friends. Barb recounted this story to me following our honeymoon. Barb said, “most of the weddings I attend, I’m not sure whether it’s going to last. However, based upon their vows and what they said, I have a good feeling this marriage is going to last a lifetime.” Nearly 28 years and counting.

Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

Before any young couple decides to tie the knot, there are numerous ways to prepare. Some choose marriage counseling, others attend pre-marriage Christian conferences, and others simply read as many books on the topic of marriage as possible. My wife Leanne and I did all three of these options. Yet, this doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage. Having spiritual mentors can help you through the highs and lows in life, but ultimately marriages that pray together tend to stay together. The last missing link is developing a will to love your spouse like Christ loves the church.

Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken, Ecclesiastes 4:11-12.

As for my own marriage, my long hair is gone, I’ve put on forty pounds, and following my emergency eye surgery, it’s hard for me to be in a picture without sunglasses on. Nonetheless, my will to love my wife Leanne has enabled me to keep my wedding vows. Yet, like any human being, I have bad days that may turn into weeks. Thank God that faith isn’t a feeling; it’s a mindset and way of life. Just like the words of Jeremiah in Lamentations 3:19-24, God’s forgiveness is new every day. This biblical promise and many like it have helped Leanne and I mean what we said long ago.

by Jay Mankus

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The Making of a Con-Artist

Posted on June 22, 2023 by expressyourself4him

A Con-Artist is a person who cheats or tricks others by persuading individuals to believe something that is not true. Attributes of con-artists include the ability to manipulate people into doing what they don’t want to do. In the passage below, Laban found out that Jacob kissed his youngest daughter. Rather than pay Jacob to work for him, he lets Jacob decide how he wants to be paid. Head over heels for Rachel, Laban agrees to give her away, but Jacob must work for him for 7 years.

When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of Laban, his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his uncle, Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth and watered the flock of his uncle Laban. 11 Then Jacob kissed Rachel and he wept aloud. 12 Jacob told Rachel he was her father’s relative, Rebekah’s son; and she ran and told her father. 13 When Laban heard of the arrival of Jacob his sister’s son, he ran to meet him, and embraced and kissed him and brought him to his house. And [Jacob] told Laban all these things. 14 Then Laban said to him, Surely you are my bone and my flesh. And [Jacob] stayed with him a month. 15 Then Laban said to Jacob, Just because you are my relative, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be? – Genesis 29:10-15

Sometimes you have to give con-artists the benefit of doubt. As for Laban, maybe he thought that some other man would come into Leah’s life to sweep her off and live happily ever after prior to Rachel’s planned wedding. As the courtship of Jacob and Rachel came to an end, Leah remained single, placing Laban into a no-win situation. If honesty is t he best policy, Laban turned to alcohol to deceive Jacob like he deceived his father Isaac years earlier.

And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her. 21 Finally, Jacob said to Laban, Give me my wife, for my time is completed, so that I may take her to me. 22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place and made a feast [with drinking]. 23 But when night came, he took Leah his daughter and brought her to [Jacob], who had intercourse with her. 24 And Laban gave Zilpah his maid to his daughter Leah to be her maid. 25 But in the morning [Jacob saw his wife, and] behold, it was Leah! And he said to Laban, What is this you have done to me? Did I not work for you [all those seven years] for Rachel? Why then have you deceived and cheated and thrown me down [like this]? 26 And Laban said, It is not permitted in our country to give the younger [in marriage] before the elder, Genesis 29:20-26.

Back in ancient times, Jewish weddings would last a week which as illustrated in John 2:1-11. When Jacob got really drunk, it wasn’t hard for Laban to switch brides. While Moses doesn’t mention Rachel’s displeasure or frustration, Jacob is forced to wait until the end of the week, when the wedding party has ceased, to consecrate his marriage with Rachel. Nonetheless, a good con-artist doesn’t waste any opportunities, forcing Jacob to work another 7 years for Laban. Based upon Moses description of Laban within this chapter of the Bible is the making of a con-artist or God simply used Laban’s personality to teach Jacob the lesson: you reap what you sow.

by Jay Mankus

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The First Dismount in the Bible

Posted on May 21, 2023 by expressyourself4him

The context of today’s passage has the anticipation of an elementary boy asking a friend during recess to go over to the girl that he likes who is playing on the playground to see if she is into him. Yet, on this occasion Isaac’s father sent out a party led by Eliezer to find him a woman to marry. Like a boy scanning under the tree for presents on Christmas morning, Isaac can’t wait to find out what his wife looks like.

And Rebekah and her maids arose and followed the man upon their camels. Thus the servant took Rebekah and went on his way. 62 Now Isaac had returned from going to the well Beer-lahai-roi [A well to the Living One Who sees me], for he [now] dwelt in the South country (the Negeb), Genesis 24:61-62.

This same pitter patter appears to be going on inside of Rebekah’s heart as well. While I’ve ridden on a pony, traveling on a camel in the desert is far worse than a long summer car ride. As this caravan comes over a ridge, making a descent into a camp of tents, a man stares into the distance to see who is arriving. When Eliezer gives word that they’re almost there, Rebekah asks about the curious man coming towards them.

And Isaac went out to meditate and bow down [in prayer] in the open country in the evening; and he looked up and saw that, behold, the camels were coming. 64 And Rebekah looked up, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel. 65 For she [had] said to the servant, Who is that man walking across the field to meet us? And the servant [had] said, He is my master. So she took a veil and concealed herself with it, Genesis 24:63-65.

Back when I was in high school, there wasn’t an ESPN, Fox Sports or any other sports channel. The any program devoted to sports weekly was ABC’s Worldwide of Sports. This is how I was introduced to gymnastics. When Rebekah eagerly dismounts the camel she was riding, I immediately envisioned a woman’s dismount from the bars, balanced beam or rings. A dismount in gymnastics is symbolic of the grand finale, end of a routine. For Rebekah, this dismount signaled the beginning of a new life with a man she’s never met. This is true faith.

by Jay Mankus

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