Tag Archives: jaded

Overcoming an I Don’t Care Anymore Attitude

Posted on August 30, 2018 by expressyourself4him

Care refers to the provisions of that what is necessary.  Synonyms include alertness, attentiveness, cautious, guidance, management, protection, safe keeping and watchfulness.  As I reflect upon my early days as a father, I recall hearing the word “no” often.  This expression reveals human nature at work within the lives of children.  Before infants learn the English language, no is code for I don’t want or I don’t care.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others, Philippians 2:4.

In 1974, Harry Chapin collaborated with his wife Sandy to compose the song Cat’s in the Cradle.  The lyrics of this classic convey a sad but true story about extreme dedication to work and its negative impact on a family.  Those who are workaholics place a higher priority on their career, leaving little or no time at home.  Spouses left at home with the kids regularly will likely begin think their significant other does not care anymore.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:32.

Those who develop an I don’t care anymore attitude often become jaded.  This process occurs gradually as disappointment erodes hope.  If negative conditions persist, optimism will be replaced by sarcasm, expecting bad things to continue.  Thus, if you sense this mentality beginning to take over, the apostle Paul provides useful advice in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.  To break free from the temptation to not care anymore, you need to take spiritual measures to protect your mind.  Only when you begin to take your thoughts captive by making them obedient to Christ can you overcome an I don’t care anymore attitude.

by Jay Mankus

 

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Closing Your Eyes on the Poor

Posted on January 31, 2017 by expressyourself4him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra-fxm2Ykng

Poverty is something you can be born into, forced into by extreme conditions or reached by a series of bad decisions.  Upon graduating from college, I went into social work.  I spent two days a week as a youth director at a church in Rising Sun, Maryland and the rest of my time as a Program Coordinator for the Methodist Action Plan in the inner city of Wilmington, Delaware.  I made just enough to eat and put gas in my car.  To save money I slept on a couch in my sister’s basement for 6 months.  Essentially, I was poor, unable to fulfill my goals in life on my own.  When my church home Cornerstone heard of my plight, a love offering was taken prior to my departure for a youth ministry trade school.  Without any previous conversation, this gift was exactly what I needed to attend this school.

Those who give to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses, Proverbs 28:27.

A little over a year later, I remembered this act of generosity striving to pay it forward.  Thus, when the church I was serving in turned away a homeless college student, I offered the couch in my apartment.  Although, this was an inconvenience to me, the Bible instructs followers to lend a helping hand.  I’m not sure if this lack of privacy led to my decision to leave youth ministry six months later, but I have become jaded.  This negative experience has led me to become selfish, putting my family first.  In the process, I have begun closing my eyes to the poor.

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver, 2 Corinthians 9:7.

If acknowledging a flaw is the first step to recovery, then I must confess that I have turned a blind eye to the poor and needy.  Instead of stopping to listen and lend a helping hand, I pretend that I don’t see those pandering at various intersections.  The Lord has a firm warning to those who ignore the poor.  Solomon suggests curses will follow those who continue to avoid the needy.  May the Holy Spirit help people like me trying to break the bad habit of closing my eyes on the poor.

by Jay Mankus

 

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Applying Your Heart

Posted on January 2, 2017 by expressyourself4him

One of the ways my former high school teachers attempted to motivate students was through the phrase, “you have to apply yourself.”  Somewhat sarcastic at the time, wondering to myself, “so do you want me to apply for a job?”  Based upon the definition, I guess these individuals wanted me to engage and utilize what I was learning at the time.

Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach, Proverbs 22:17.

Fortunately, King Solomon explains this concept within 2 chapters of Proverbs.  Like a child being raised by godly parents, the Lord wants his followers to become more than listeners.  Rather than giving mere lips service, “I get it!”  God longs for his children to put God’s Word, the Bible into practice.  This is what it means to apply your heart.

Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge, Proverbs 23:12.

Unfortunately, many people are jaded by disappointment, failure and trials in life.  Like the Aerosmith song Jaded, lead singer Steven Tyler wrote this song after feeling like he neglected his youngest daughter, missing most of her childhood while touring.  Those who reach this unwelcomed state often feel trapped, paralyzed and unable to change.  Therefore, if you sense things are beginning to slip slide away, may the Holy Spirit empower you to apply your heart.

by Jay Mankus

 

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What is the Best Response to the Homeless Standing at Major Intersections?

Posted on January 21, 2016 by expressyourself4him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRxGjtZnQ5c

In the final hours of my fast, one thing is troubling me.  My response to the poor and needy have been lame.  Pretending I don’t see a few homeless begging for help  at major intersections isn’t the answer.  Nor is treating these people like a Food Stamp, “here’s a few  bucks, see you next month.”  Like an interactive poll on television, I’m asking my readers to chime in.  To provide an effective plan of action to homeless standing at major intersections.

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God, Hebrews 13:16.

The context to my dilemma began fifteen years ago.  While an independent contractor for the greater Philadelphia area, I saw hundreds of panhandlers daily.  On one occasion, I saw one of these individuals place his cardboard sign in the back seat, then drive off in a BMW.  Thus, I am still jaded.  I realize this is probably the exception to the reality of poverty.   Yet, I don’t have a solution, something I can apply daily to homeless standing at an intersection.

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” Acts 20:35.

I do know of a friend whose daughter started a care pack ministry, raising money to buy back packs filled with useful items.  These are given away when their family comes in contact with a new needy individual.  Beside this, I’m out of answers, seeking the wisdom of my audience to share useful courses of action.  Yet, for know, I am painfully reminded of the words of James 4:17, “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”  May the insight of my visitors inspire me and others to join the battle to cure hunger.

Please add your two cents on my blog or Facebook.  I value your opinions.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

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The Greatest Virtue

Posted on July 30, 2015 by expressyourself4him

As adolescents become adults, its easy to become jaded, scarred by hurtful individuals who tear others down.  In additional, certain personalities do not mesh, resulting in irritation as well as uncomfortable moments.  Throw in those hungry for control or power and you will find hearts hesitant to forgive.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, Matthew 6:14.

At the conclusion of the Lord’s Prayer, also known as the Our Father, Jesus introduces the reciprocal aspect of forgiveness.  According to the two verses that follow, forgiveness is not received unless it is first extended to others.  Similar to the Sowing Principle, you reap what you sow, forgiveness is conditional based upon the degree in which you forgive and forget the transgressions of others.

But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins, Matthew 6:15.

This perspective of forgiveness makes it one of the greatest virtues.  However, a lack of forgiveness can make it one of the most dangerous, resulting in eternal damnation.  Coping and dealing with personalities that rub you the wrong way can be excruciating, requiring extra grace to those annoying souls you encounter.  Yet, as the apostle Paul states in Colossians 3:12-14, the key to forgiveness is loving others as Christ loved us.  Therefore, ask God for a new heart, willing to forgive, forget and treat others as you want to be treated.

by Jay Mankus

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I Thought They Had It All Together

Posted on November 10, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Whether its in church, your own community or traveling on vacation, you’re bound to come into contact with an exceptional individual.  On the surface, this person possesses character, personality and wisdom.  Adorned by everyone, they seem too good to be true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANNdVi6GcEs

While on a week long mission trip in Jackson, Tennessee, I was introduced to one of the largest youth groups in the country.  Based out of Rochester, Michigan, this church took several buses across the country each summer to serve needy communities.  The president of this youth group appeared like he had it all together.  As I began to develop friendships in the area, only one person saw through his phony witness.  One year after losing touch, I  heard through the grapevine that this saint fell from grace, arrested for running an under age gambling ring.

Call it jaded or desensitized, but I am usually not surprised by people who live double lives.  Whenever you put others up on a pedestal, disappointment is a likely outcome.  Therefore, if you think someone has it all together,don’t worship one of God’s creations.  Rather, say a prayer for these individuals, hope for the best and trust in the Lord for a bright future.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

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