Tag Archives: Criticism

That a Boy!

As the culture changes, so does the vocabulary.  Unfortunately, as a sense of loyalty diminishes, human beings are being discarded by employers, often finding a cheaper replacement.  I found out the hard way during my last year as a high school teacher.  In this climate, instead of hearing encouraging words like “that a boy,” criticism follows revealing a lack of appreciation.

With the help of Silas, whom I regard as a faithful brother, I have written to you briefly, encouraging you and testifying that this is the true grace of God. Stand fast in it, 1 Peter 5:12.

Trying to stay positive in these conditions can be difficult.  However, after reading a letter from the disciple Peter, I am reminded of the importance to use uplifting words.  Since most communications at a typical work place tends to be when you make a mistake, what would happen if people received a compliment once a week.  While each individual is different, most need to hear “that a boy or way to go” every so often to make sure they feel appreciated.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen, Ephesians 4:29.

Although I have my moments of negativity, these passages of the Bible bring me back to where I need to be.  Thus, despite how I feel, its vital to guard my mouth to avoid being part of the problem.  In view of this, don’t be afraid to be a voice of reason, building up those around you.  By exercising this principle, you will rejuvenate others who yearn to hear, “that a boy!”

by Jay Mankus

 

What the Hell are You Doing?

Every so often I am surprised by something I hear.  Sometimes its a conversation, an interview or watching another star athlete get into trouble.  Yet, this morning as I was critiquing the driver’s in front of me, I heard God’s voice whisper to me, “what the hell are you doing?”

Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools, Ecclesiastes 7:9.

It’s easy to point the finger at others, exposing people’s flaws, imperfections and weaknesses.  However, when the criticism is pointed in your direction, its hard to accept.  Like a blind spot in a car’s mirror, I guess I’ve been carrying on with my life without seeing who or what I’ve become.  The best response to my growing impatience is “what the hell am I doing?”

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; James 1:19.

According to Solomon, my recent commentary of bad drivers is foolish.  While my mind thinks these observations are accurate, a first century apostle refers to my behavior as selfish and judgmental.  What I’m actually doing is being a poor example of Christ.  Thus, the next time you find yourself looking in the rear view mirror, wondering the the hell the driver behind you is doing, reflect on God’s Word, the Bible, to see how you can better represent Jesus in the the future.  Change now or you too may hear God say, “what the hell are you doing?”

by Jay Mankus

 

The Boost of Encouragement

Some time in the last century, the concept of encouragement has been replaced by criticism.  While traces of encouragement still exist, negativity has spread like a wild fire, often choking the joy within those trying to remain positive.  You don’t have to go far to see these signs, as twitter is littered with nasty comments seeking to attract more followers.

Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers, Acts 9:31.

During the first century, similar obstacles existed.  Yet, in the face of adversity, an invisible force brought a sense of peace to the apostles.  I’m not sure who coined the phrase, but Luke, a well known doctor refers to this phenomena as encouraged by the Holy Spirit.  Despite persecution by Jewish religious leaders, staying true to their faith boosted their confidence.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing, 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

During a decade of teaching high school, it didn’t take long to recognize the attitude of each class.  It’s scary how the absence or presence of one negative student can transform a classroom for the good or bad.  The same holds true today within families, neighborhoods and the workplace.  In view of this, don’t let the Debbie Downers in life steal your joy.  Rather, boost the spirits of those around you with an extra dose of encouragement today.

by Jay Mankus

Refine or Refuse

Whether you want to admit it or not, each individual craves affirmation, encouragement and a pat on the back.  Yet few experience, hear or sense that they are appreciated.  Rather, negativity often rules, pointing out each mistake you make.  Depending upon your personality type, each responds to criticism differently.  Some use it as motivation, others turn a deaf ear and the fragile let these words eat away at their soul.  Such moments provide two options, refine your ways or refuse someone’s advice.

These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. – 1 Peter 1:7

Prior to last week, I sought out people to pump me up, telling me how great I was.  However, one embarrassing evening under the microscope last week allowed me see the importance of exposing obvious weaknesses.  Unless you know what to fix, you might continue throughout life never reaching your full potential.  However, once imperfections are brought to the surface, you can begin to make strides, asking God to smooth over your rough edges.

My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. – Proverbs 5:1-2

Change is hard, especially for the stubborn who think they have it all together.  Nonetheless, until you begin to embrace the refining process of trials, you won’t be able to become transformed like Peter in John 21:15-18.  If you are comfortably numb, continue to refuse advice.  However, if you want to reach new heights beyond your wildest dreams, let the refining process commence.

by Jay Mankus

 

When Critics Tear You to Pieces

As an aspiring writer, sometimes you have to go outside of your comfort zone to sharper your skills.  Subsequently, when the opportunity arises, I try to attend local Meet Up groups for writers.  On this evening, the round table of critics I was assigned didn’t hold back any punches.  By the time the critique of my latest screen play was over, I wanted to crawl underneath the table to hide my tears.

 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? – Hebrews 12:7

After this humbling experience brought disappointment, the feedback I received will do one of two things.  First, their criticism could light a fire in my soul to prove each of them wrong.  On the other hand, this devastating blow to my confidence might lead me to give up writing completely.  When the rubber meets the road, you have to dig down deep to see if the pain you endure is worth the journey.  Whenever the critics in life tear you to pieces, consider the cost before you proceed any further.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid. – Proverbs 12:1

In the end, you have to take another person’s advice with a grain of salt.  Rather, trust in the Lord and lean on His understanding to ascertain God’s will, Proverbs 3:5-6.  Take the good with the bad, considering trials a pure joy so that through it all, you will grow in faith, perseverance and maturity, James 1:2-4.  Therefore, whether your critics love or hate you, take each opinion in stride as you keep your eyes on the Big Guy in the sky.

by Jay Mankus

 

Vanishing Point

In a world fueled by controversy, negativity and pessimism, its easy to lose sight of the positive.  Affirmations, encouragement and uplifting words often vanish from memories, erased by daily criticism that wound hearts.  This isn’t the only thing to recede, disappearing like the tide going out to sea.

Despite this harsh reality, there is one truth that never vanishes.  According to Psalm 139:13-16, you were knit together in your mother’s womb.  In fact, Jesus takes this one step further, reminding Nicodemus of God’s perfect plan.  According to John 3:16, the expression “so loved” in the Greek refers to from vanishing point to vanishing point.  In other words, before you were born and until your death, God’s love extends throughout time.

When idividuals become aware of this aspect of God’s nature, revival can begin.  Unfortunately, an invisible enemy has blinded the minds of unbelievers, 2 Corinthians 4:4.  All the while, believers are under a difficult kind of attack, pulled in different directions by the world, Galatians 5:16-18.  If this wasn’t enough, the devil is busy stealing, killing and destroying souls.  As the sun sets on another day, don’t allow your thoughts to forget the promises within God’s word, Joshua 1:8, from vanishing point to vanishing point.

by Jay Mankus

Making a Difference One Text at a Time

Early in the 2013-2014 school year, a high school senior became fed up with the persistent negativity bombarding her hallways.  Searching for a simple solution, this silent leader began to fight back with kindness.  Determined to leave a positive mark on her classmates, this glimmer of optimism began to make a difference, one encouraging, yet anonymous text at a time.

This principle is nothing new, passed on by the words of the apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:29.  The best way to battle bullying, criticism and put downs is with uplifting words.  In the end, it doesn’t matter who gets the credit as long as the desire to do good tarries on, Galatians 6:9-10.  As this girl’s twitter handle began to light up with compliments to friends, faculty and staff, establishing hope for broken hearts.

Perhaps, this young woman will start a movement to love your neighbor as yourself, Matthew 22:39.  Whether you think before you act or look at someone else’s life before you judge or make an assumption, randoms acts of kindness can make a difference.  Therefore, instead of giving up on a cruel world, set your heart and mind on things above, Colossians 3:1-3, so that the light of Christ will be passed on to the next generation.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

Sorry Harry Potter… You’re Wrong!

As a former teacher, invoking the name of Harry Potter was like stirring up a hornet’s nest.  I spent years trying to find out what made students tick, probing with topics to ascertain where their allegiance lies.  To my surprise, some of the most apathetic, passive and timid individuals, transformed before my very eyes with the slightest mention of Harry Potter.  Enraged with passion, any criticism of this wizardly magician resulted in anger as if I was picking a fight with their baby brother.

Before I go any further, I don’t want to share my opinion on this issue.  Rather, I seek to confirm God’s words to the Israelites.  The Lord is starting anew in the Old Testament, introducing a set of boundaries and guidelines for the Jews to adhere.  This moral compass served as basic civil laws so that citizens would treat one another as God desired.  Under a section of instructions on social responsibility, Moses writes down God’s own words in Exodus 22:18, “do not allow a sorceress to live.”

This leads one to ask, “what is a sorcerer and why does God specifically refer to a female, not a male?”  According to Webster, a sorceress is a witch.  Meanwhile, a sorcerer is someone who claims to or displays magical powers known as an enchanter, warlock and wizard.  Now if James 2:9 speaks out against showing favoritism, Exodus 22:18 eludes to both men and women.  Therefore, sorry Harry Potter, you’re wrong for what you practice, even in a fictional series, for God is jealous, seeking our complete attention, not just when we feel like it or want to, Exodus 20:3-5.

by Jay Mankus

Don’t Take It Personally

verbal abuse photo: EMPLOYEE ABUSE employment-verbal-abuse.jpg

In an ideal setting, everyone would love to be admired, cherished and highly valued.  However, in a fallen world, with individuals daily carrying around dirty laundry and excess baggage, receiving a desired response is unlikely.  Therefore, if an act of kindness, gentle reply or word of encouragement goes unnoticed, don’t take it personally.  According to Exodus 7:3, sometimes God will harden a person’s heart, preventing individuals from being civil.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGt5f70K02Q

When Jesus first sent off his disciples in Matthew 10, taking off their preverbal training wheels, he tries to prepare these 12 men for what to expect in life.  Beginning in Matthew 10:17-23, you could probably hear a pin drop, likely caught off guard by the hatred Jesus predicted.  Maybe this is where Judas Iscariot began to get cold feet, thinking to himself, “I didn’t sign up for this!”  I guess you can assume Jesus is trying to separate the followers from leaders, using a similar strong message in Luke 14:25-27 to narrow down his core group.

Unfortunately, the old saying of “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is a lie.  When I taught, I could have a dozen compliments from faculty and students, yet that one negative email from a parent is what I thought about, erasing all the good I received earlier in the day.  Criticism, harsh comments and tasteless remarks can get under your skin, leaving a heart torn in two.  When words feel like knife wounds, verbally poisoning your soul, take your burden to the Lord, Matthew 11:28.  May the words of Psalm 34:18-19 help you not to take future replies personally.

by Jay Mankus