Tag Archives: southern hospitality

Make Yourself at Home

When I first moved to Delaware back in the late 1970’s, most of my neighbors displayed southern hospitality. As the shy new kid on the block with a severe stuttering problem, this was the best scenario I could ask for. A girl across the street named Jeanette was the vocal leader of Tonbridge Drive, sharing her house with everyone her age. Mrs. Kerth brought her loving personality from Louisiana often saying, “make yourself at home.”

Through skillful and godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation], And by knowledge shall its chambers [of every area] be filled with all precious and pleasant riches, Proverbs 24:3-4.

Over the next decade, my parents became close friends with the Kerth’s, often eating together in the summer months. While Jeanette’s mom was busy cooking inside or her father was grilling out back, I was engaged in or playing a competitive game with other teenagers. Looking back, I didn’t realize how special this neighborhood would become and shape me as a human being. Yet, when Mrs. Kerth rang the dinner bell, everyone dropped what they were doing to run toward the hose to wash up for dinner.

A wise man is strong and [a]is better than a strong man, and a man of knowledge increases and strengthens his power; Proverbs 24:5.

As my wife and I prepare to become empty nesters in the summer of 2022, we have decided to downsize. Subsequently, sometime after June we will be making South Carolina our new home. Fortunately, we have made a few visits to our new neighborhood and look forward to developing relationships with the people we’ve already met. Perhaps, sometime in the near future we can both pay it forward by encouraging neighbors to make themselves at home like the example Mrs. Kerth set decades ago.

by Jay Mankus

Unusual and Remarkable Kindness

When my parents moved from New Jersey in 1977, Delaware was considered part of the south. As a boy struggling with stuttering, the southern hospitality bestowed upon me eased my concerns about making new friends. This unusual and remarkable kindness did not fade away, remaining as long as I lived in this neighborhood. However, when I moved back to Delaware in the late 1990’s, the influences of nearby large metropolitan cities has slowly erased southern hospitality. While you will cross paths with kind people, unusual and remarkable acts are rare.

And the natives showed us unusual and remarkable kindness, for they kindled a fire and welcomed and received us all, since it had begun to rain and was cold, Acts 28:2.

After enduring a northeaster for two weeks at sea, all 276 passengers made it to shore before their ship was lost. While on the island of Malta, Luke makes an interesting observation. It’s unclear if the island natives developed an unfair reputation or they went the extra mile for these helpless souls, but they were overwhelmed by Malta’s kindness. Despite a cold and rainy day, a large fire was started to provide warmth. While this tribe may not have ever heard of the parable of the Good Samaritan, their actions were in line with God’s love.

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil, Luke 6:35.

In this age of social media where eyes are fixated on cell phones, electronic devices or game consoles, experiencing unusual or remarkable kindness is uncommon. Perhaps, this is a direct result of inaction, forgetting to practice loving and praying for your enemies. Sure, when you go to a restaurant, you will find talented hosts and hostesses that make dining out worth your time and money. Yet, when motives are impure, the golden rule of treating others as you want to be treated can disappear. May this blog inspire you to strive to live out God’s love through unusual and remarkable acts of kindness.

by Jay Mankus

Soul Food

The origin of soul food can be traced back to enslaved African Americans.  While their masters received the choice cuts of each prepared meal, servants relied on leftovers or undesirable pieces to eat.  Making the best with any ingredient they could scrounge together, soul food describes this ethnic cuisine cooked with southern hospitality.

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” – Matthew 22:37

Spiritually speaking, the soul is the essence of an individual.  Thus, when you do something with everything inside of you, a portion of the soul is displayed.  However, just like human beings, the soul needs food to enrich the lives of people.  Without nurturing the soul, a void will continue to persist.

What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? – Matthew 16:26

The Bible is the only source that revitalizes souls, Hebrews 4:12.  While maintaining a healthy diet is important, prayer can rejuvenate a weak or dying soul, 3 John 1:2.  Therefore, the next time you enjoy an all you can eat buffet, don’t forget to stop by the dessert table with Bible reading, meditation and prayer so after you’re finish you can say it is well with my soul.

by Jay Mankus

The Side Effects of Rushing Through Life

Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker starred in Rush Hour in 1998 spawning 3 sequels in the past 15 years.  Although some will debate exactly when or what movie started the age of cramming films with non-stop action filled with death and violence, one thing is clear, this rush is here to stay.  As attention spans continue to diminish, this 24 style serves as a drug, a rush of adrenaline to captive minds.

If you live in the Northeast or Mid-Atlantic part of the United States, this mentality has transformed how people act, behave and treat one another.  Unfortunately, you won’t find much southern hospitality here as a spirit of rushing hinders the ability to be kind, nice or pleasant.  Though not everyone fits into this category, the side effects of rushing through life are evident.  Honking horns, obscene sign language and yelling flood the streets of this corridor.

From a personal perspective, this pace of life influences the quality of your relationships.  Either you or the person you are trying to engage is distracted by a wave of rush, in a hurry to get to no where.  Sad, but true, I’m the one who is usually persuaded to cut conversations short.  If you face a similar struggle, remember the words of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, leaning on this promise to snap you out of this bad habit.

Please share any other side effects that you see of rushing through life.

by Jay Mankus

Hurry Up!

Somewhere between childhood and becoming a grown adult, I have become extremely impatient.  Whether I am driving a car, eating a meal or socializing, I seem to always be in a rush to get to no where.  Unfortunately, for people like me who suffer with this strong impulse, its hard to relax or enjoy the finer things in life.

When I received my first real full time job offer after graduating from college, I moved to southern Indiana to pursue a calling in youth ministry.  Although 10 years behind the East Coast culturally speaking at the time, the people I met and embraced altered my impatience to a manageable condition.  This social environment, in the heart of Country Music, broke me of my poor relational habits and taught me good ole fashion southern hospitality as I instantly connected to many families in Columbus, Indiana.

However, like a video game, accelerating in speed and difficulty with each new level, I have found myself back in the rat race.  Promoted by the pace of life on the East Coast, this mentality keeps inhabitants from reaching a Mark 1:35 intimacy with God.  Silence is replaced by honking horns, cell phone ring tones and internet alert sounds.  Don’t let a hurry up life style influence your heart any longer.  Rather, find a cave, 1 Samuel 22:1-2, retreat to the mountains, 1 Kings 19:11-13 or find a quiet room, Matthew 6:6 so you can be still before the Lord, Psalm 46:10.  Hurry up now or you’ll never break this rat race mentality!

by Jay Mankus