Tag Archives: relationships

The Message Behind the Music-February 5

Posted on February 5, 2026 by expressyourself4him

Inspiration Behind You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling

You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling is a classic ballad sung by numerous artists over the past 70 years. However, the original version was written by a trio of songwriters: Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil and Phil Spector. The lyrics struck a chord with anyone who has experienced the pain of lost love. The writers point to signs where intimacy starts to fade away such as “you never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.” The lyrics also serve as a warning to those blinded by love with a message love doesn’t always last.

Biblical Application:

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? 10 “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve,” Jeremiah 17:9-10.

Exegesis of You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling:

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips
And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips
You’re trying hard not to show it (baby)
But baby, baby I know it

The passion of this relationship is starting to wear off. This initial excitement is fading away. Either the spark has dimmed or this relationship is becoming stale.

You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’
You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
Now it’s gone, gone, gone

What has changed? Is their love just a feeling? Whatever happened, it is now noticeable.

Now there’s no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you

The body language shows some type of disinterest.

And now your’re starting to critisize little things I do
It makes me just feel like crying (baby)
‘Cause baby, somethin’ beautiful’s dyin’

When inirial feelings of love start to fade, you become who you truly are. The gentle spirit and kindness vanishes, treating your significant other like everyone else.

You lost that lovin’ feelin’
Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’
You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
Now it’s gone, gone, gone

Now that love is starting to slip away, what can be done to save your relationship?

Baby, baby, I get down on my knees for you

The man is trying to win back his love, begging and humbling himself.

If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah
We had a love… a love… a love you don’t find everyday
So don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t let it slip away

I thought we had something special, what went wrong? The man is willing to do whatever it takes to save this relationship.

Baby (baby), baby (baby)
I beg you please (please), please (please)
I need your love (I need your love), I need your love (I need your love)
So bring it on back (so bring it on back), bring it on back (so bring it on back)
Bring back that lovin’ feelin’
Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’

Remember what we had? Please come back to how this all started. Ignite the flame which brought us together.

Bring back that lovin’ feelin’
‘Cause it’s gone, gone, gone
And I can’t go on
Woooo

This stanza serves as a call to action. Hoping to regain what they had.

Bring back that lovin’ feelin’
Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’
Bring back that lovin’ feelin’
‘Cause it’s gone, gone

A plea for love, think about what made us a great couple.

Final Thoughts:

I normally played the role of the desperate partner, trying to hold on to the past. This is where love becomes a will, not just a feeling. When two people have a resolve to endure whatever trials they may face, relationships are salvageable. Unfortunately, when one person starts to experience the worse portion of a vow, most bail, giving up on love. This is when hearts and minds must press on, taking negative thought captive, 2 Corinthians 10:4-6 so that love endures.

by Jay Mankus

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The Message Behind the Music-February 3

Posted on February 3, 2026 by expressyourself4him

Inspiration Behind It Must Have Been Love:

Gessle wanted to convey a message within a song with Roxette that love may be lost, but it is never forgotten. It Must Have Been Love was a perfect fit for the film Pretty Woman starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. This song addresses the theme of love and loss, especially when human beings become vulnerable by opening up about past failures in life. This timeless classic resonates with individuals who have endured the painful reality of lost love.

Biblical Connection:

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing, 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.

Exegesis of It Must Have Been Love:

It must have been love
But it’s over now
Lay a whisper
On my pillow
Leave the winter
On the ground
I wake up lonely
There’s air of silence
In the bedroom
And all around
Touch me now
I close my eyes
And dream away

Whenever a relationship ends, there is a noticeable difference. You grow so accustomed to being together and having someone in your life that you forget what it’s like to be alone. The lyrics in the opening stanza illustrate this eerie silence.

It must have been love
But it’s over now
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow

The feeling of love vanished when this significant other left ia brought up. This relationship seemed like true love, but was lost for some unknown reason.

It must have been love
But it’s over now
From the moment we touched
Till the time had run out

The love this song is referring to is based upon emotions, focused too much on the physical aspect of a relationship.

Make believing
We’re together
That I’m sheltered
By your heart
But in and outside
I turned to water
Like a teardrop
In your palm

Sometime a relationship can begin like a Hollywood movie, too good to be true. When the honeymoon period is over, you have to work at a relationship to keep it going. If you don’t, everything you dreamed of can fall apart.

And it’s a hard
Winter’s day
I dream away

Dreaming is getting her through his absence.

It must have been love
But it’s over now
It was all that I wanted
Now, I’m living without
It must have been love
But it’s over now
It’s where the water flows
It’s where the wind blows

Love requires action. Anyone can say, “I love you,” but true love is lived out like the analogy shared by the apostle Pail in 1 Corinthians 13.

It must have been love
But it’s over now
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow
It must have been love
But it’s over now
From the moment we touched
Till the time had run out
Yeah, it must have been love
But it’s over now
It was all that I wanted
Now, I’m living without
It must have been love
But it’s over now
It’s where the water flows
It’s where the wind blows
It must have been love
But it’s over now

This extended chorus is searching for answers to why this relationship ended.

It must have been love
But it’s over now

Perhaps, watching Pretty Woman will provide further insight into the complexities of love.

Final Thoughts:

I had to write a research paper for a Philosophy class in college on Pretty Woman. I had to use philosophical terms to explain why a woman would turn to prostitution. While I don’t recall my final conclusion, I do see a lack of genuine love lived out by members of society. Instead of being doers of the Word of God by emulating the love of Jesus, too many people are all talk and no action. May today’s blog inspire you to demonstrate acts of love daily to give hope to others who have given up on love.

by Jay Mankus

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The Message Behind the Music-February 2

Posted on February 2, 2026 by expressyourself4him

Exegesis of Love Bites:

The initial plan for Love Bites was designed to be a country ballad. Def Leppard took what was presented by their producer and added elements of rock mixed with rhythm and blues. The lyrics explore a fear of falling in love. Perhaps, band members were thinking about a good friend who they had thoughts of becoming emotionally involved with but didn’t want to ruin what they already had.

Biblical Connection:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Exegesis of Love Bites:

If you’ve got love in your sights
Watch out, love bites

The expression love bites can be explained by co-authors Chester and Betsy Kylstra in their book Restoring the Foundations. Chester refers to emotional wounds to your heart as soul ties. This encapsulates any brokenness, depression and pain from a previous relationship. This is the warning for anyone thinking about falling in love.

When you make love, do you look in your mirror?
Who do you think of, does he look like me?
Do you tell lies and say that it’s forever?
Do you think twice or just touch and see?

Who are you thinking about when you have sex? Are you stuck in the past, using your current relationships as some sort of an emotional rebound? Or have you moved on, focused on the present person in your life? The final 2 lines point to pain from the past, empty promises of love that were never fulfilled. The second warning about love is think before you act.

Ooh, babe
Oh, yeah

When you’re alone, do you let go?
Are you wild and willin’ or is it just for show?
Ooh, come on

The man behind the lyrics wants to know if his current relationship is more than just sex.

I don’t want to touch you too much, baby
‘Cause makin’ love to you might drive me crazy
I know you think that love is the way you make it
So I don’t wanna be there when you decide to break it, no

There is a fear of getting their heart broken again. Subsequently, it would be better to remain friends rather than having sex as this act changes everything as well as expectations.

Love bites, love bleeds
It’s bringin’ me to my knees

From the bands learned experiences in life, love has been more painful than pleasant. These past relationships have scarred members of the band, becoming hesitant about jumping into future relationships. This is why in their opinion love bites.

Final Thoughts:

Failed relationships have taken a toll on me over the first 20 years of my life. One led to a nervous breakdown, others left a trail of heart break and one in college left me scarred for several years. Yet, when God is the center of your relationship, love can be beautiful. Despite the positives of love, it still requires work like the words of the apostle Paul, learning to love others like Jesus taught.

by Jay Mankus

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Don’t Go There Again

Posted on July 6, 2023 by expressyourself4him

History repeats itself when individuals fail to remember past mistakes. To prevent this from reoccurring, Jewish families spent time each evening recalling the lives of their patriarchs. This practice began after Rachel’s life. Apparently, she hadn’t heard about Sarah’s irrational decision to let her husband sleep with Hagar. Or she was so desperate, Rachel would have done anything to have a child, even allow her own husband to sleep with her maid.

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. 2 And Sarai said to Abram, See here, the Lord has restrained me from bearing [children]. I am asking you to have intercourse with my maid; it may be that I can obtain children by her. And Abram listened to and heeded what Sarai said. 3 So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her Egyptian maid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his [secondary] wife. 4 And he had intercourse with Hagar, and she became pregnant; and when she saw that she was with child, she looked with contempt upon her mistress and despised her, Genesis 16:1-4.

When Hagar conceived and gave birth to Ishmael, Sarah was filled with envy and jealousy. Since Ishmael went on to become the father of the Arab nations, Israel is still dealing with the consequences of Sarah’s irrational decision. If only somebody warned Rachel of Sarah’s stressful ordeal, she might have been persuaded to not go there again. Nonetheless, human nature is a real force that leads many individuals into repeating the same mistake over and over again.

When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister, and said to Jacob, Give me children, or else I will die! 2 And Jacob became very angry with Rachel and he said, Am I in God’s stead, Who has denied you children? 3 And she said, See here, take my maid Bilhah and have intercourse with her; and [when the baby comes] she shall deliver it upon my knees, that I by her may also have children. 4 And she gave him Bilhah her maid as a [secondary] wife, and Jacob had intercourse with her, Genesis 30:1-4.

Looking back on my own life, high school and college relationships taught me a lot about myself. As long as I avoided desperate situations, I didn’t do something that I regretted, Romans 7:16-18. However, when I put myself into a tempting situation over and over again, I did the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. Therefore, if you find yourself slip, sliding away from the Lord, 1 Corinthians 10:13, look for the way out of temptation so that you don’t go there again.

by Jay Mankus

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Avoiding Another Hagar Scenario

Posted on May 10, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Forcing the issue usually doesn’t work out well in the end. Perhaps, this is what concerned Abraham about allowing Isaac to accompany Eliezer to find a future wife. Whenever something is not meant to be or not God’s will for your life, there’s a temptation to intervene to alter your destiny. This sense of desperation led Sarah to allow her maidservant Hagar to have a child with Abraham.

Abraham said to him, See to it that you do not take my son back there. 7 The Lord, the God of heaven, Who took me from my father’s house, from the land of my family and my birth, Who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, To your offspring I will give this land—He will send His [b]Angel before you, and you will take a wife from there for my son. 8 And if the woman should [c]not be willing to go along after you, then you will be clear from this oath; only you must not take my son back there, Genesis 24:6-8.

Whether you’re playing the role of an adult, coach, parent or teacher, anytime a child is specifically told not to do something, there’s the temptation to do the exact opposite. The apostle Paul addresses this in Romans 7:13-18. Even when God clearly lays out his expectations in Genesis 2:15-17 to Adam and Eve, the urge to cross this line comes naturally via freewill. Subsequently, Isaac is prevented from taking part in the search of his wife.

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. 2 And Sarai said to Abram, See here, the Lord has restrained me from bearing [children]. I am asking you to have intercourse with my maid; it may be that I can obtain children by her. And Abram listened to and heeded what Sarai said. 3 So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her Egyptian maid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his [secondary] wife. 4 And he had intercourse with Hagar, and she became pregnant; and when she saw that she was with child, she looked with contempt upon her mistress and despised her, Genesis 16:1-4.

Learning lessons from past mistakes may be painful at times, but 1 Corinthians 10:1-6 illustrates why its important to live and learn. Whenever you add desperation to human nature, minds don’t think clearly. Especially, if you’re tempted to seek an alternative solution on your own. May the passage above serve as a warning to avoid going outside of God’s will to achieve something you really want. Let go and let God lead the way.

by Jay Mankus

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Asking God about the How’s and Why’s in Life

Posted on February 22, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Regardless of the relationship that you are in, there will come a time when one individual will want more of a commitment or greater depth. If there isn’t a mutual consent or feeling, questions will be raised like, “don’t you love me?” This will force one person to explain their position. From a spiritual perspective, there are many times in my life that God and I weren’t on the same page. I expected one particular outcome and received a less desired result. This opens the door for my next why God prayer.

And Abram said, Lord God, what can You give me, since I am going on [from this world] childless and he who shall be the owner and heir of my house is this [steward] Eliezer of Damascus? 3 And Abram continued, Look, You have given me no child; and [a servant] born in my house is my heir. 4 And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, This man shall not be your heir, but he who shall come from your own body shall be your heir, Genesis 15:2-4.

One of God’s servants finds himself in a similar position in the passage above. Three chapters after beginning his journey with God in Genesis 12, Abram has several questions that he wants God to explain. Abram was searching for clarity while he was waiting on the promise of becoming the father of a great nation. Abram’s main concern is that his wife Sarai is barren, and both aren’t getting any younger. Abram is eager to know how this is going to become a reality.

 And He said to him, I am the [same] Lord, Who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldees to give you this land as an inheritance. 8 But he [Abram] said, Lord God, by what shall I know that I shall inherit it? – Genesis 15:7-8

King Solomon addresses this topic in Proverbs 19:21. Human nature paints a picture of how your life should go from a logical perspective. While you may have several plans for the future, the Lord’s purpose will ultimately prevail. This mindset leads Abram to think one of his servants, Eliezer of Damascus, will be how God starts the nation of Israel. After this back and forth of why God, the waiting game begins as God will make everything beautiful in His time, Ecclesiastes 3:11. May Abram’s faith journey serve as a teachable moment to help you discover God’s will and future for your own life.

by Jay Mankus

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An Image of Leadership in Progress

Posted on February 18, 2023 by expressyourself4him

First impressions can be powerful and disappointing. Whenever an individual doesn’t live up to your expectation, there will be a permanent strain on this relationship. This is how I felt about Abram who eventually changed his name to Abraham. Shortly after Abram is introduced by Moses in Genesis 12, he chooses lying rather trusting God, Proverbs 3:5-6. Based upon the actions of his son Isaac when placed into a similar situation, Genesis 26:7, one of Abram’s spiritual legacies is as a liar.

And they also took Lot, Abram’s brother’s son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods away with them. 13 Then one who had escaped came and told Abram the Hebrew [one from the other side], who was living by the oaks or terebinths of Mamre the Amorite, a brother of Eshcol and of Aner—these were allies of Abram. 14 When Abram heard that [his nephew] had been captured, he armed (led forth) the 318 trained servants born in his own house and pursued the enemy as far as Dan, Genesis 14:12-14.

Yet, my perception of Abram began to change after reading Genesis 14. While every human being has fallen short of God’s glory, Romans 3:23, Abram’s swift action in the passage above paints a different picture than just someone who struggles to tell the truth. When a family member was placed into immediate danger, Abram jumps into action by forming a squadron of 318 men. Although Moses is silent on their training prior to battle. Moses presents Abram as a leader in progress.

He divided his forces against them by night, he and his servants, and attacked and routed them, and pursued them as far as Hobah, which is north of Damascus. 16 And he brought back all the goods and also brought back his kinsman Lot and his possessions, the women also and the people, Genesis 14:15-16.

The apostle Paul writes about the unfinished work among members of the Church in Philippi, Philippians 1:6. Another letter to the Church at Ephesus compares Christians to God’s craftsman, called to act, built and complete what God has called you to do, Ephesians 2:10. Abraham doesn’t become a member of the Hall of Faith, Hebrews 11, for lying. Rather, Abram was a work in progress just like you and me. May we all learn from Abram’s faith journey so that we become obedient to God’s calling in 2023.

by Jay Mankus

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The Line Between Seizing the Day and Being a Workaholic

Posted on November 11, 2022 by expressyourself4him

As an aspiring screen writer, I spend as much of my free time away from work writing. Unfortunately, my productivity is often inconsistent. Every once in a while, I will seize every spare moment that I have. Meanwhile, the majority of my days are a struggle as exhaustion keeps me from fulfilling my weekly writing goals. Yet, when I pursue my writing schedule with a passion, I find myself crossing the line from productive toward a workaholic.

Now while they were on their way, it occurred that Jesus entered a certain village, and a woman named Martha received and welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord’s feet and was listening to His teaching, Luke 10:38-39.

The Line between seizing the day and being a workaholic is indirectly touched on by Jesus during an encounter with two sisters. Martha is the doer of the family, always working hard to make sure every meal is prepared for the family. After cooking is complete, Martha races to straighten up the house and vacuum before anyone arrives. Meanwhile, Mary is a people person, eager to get caught up on how everything is going in your life. Before Jesus arrives, Martha is upset by the lack of help she receives.

But Martha [overly occupied and too busy] was distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord, is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me [to lend a hand and do her part along with me]! 41 But the Lord replied to her by saying, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; 42 There is need of only one or but [i]a few things. Mary has chosen the good portion [[j]that which is to her advantage], which shall not be taken away from her, Luke 10:40-42.

In the passage above, Jesus draws the line between working hard and missing out on why we are here on earth. God created human beings to be in relationships with one another. When individuals become so busy and consumed by work that they ignore the people right in front of you, you are a workaholic. Like AA, the first step to recovery is acknowledging that you have a problem. Therefore, my name is Jay Mankus and I am a workaholic. I spent most of my days like Martha rather than enjoying relationships like Mary. May we all strive to seize each day centered around relationships and not just work.

by Jay Mankus

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Partners in the Fellowship

Posted on February 7, 2021 by expressyourself4him

The book definition of partner is a person who takes part in an undertaking with another or others, especially in a business or company with shared risks and profits. These relationships are often described as associates, colleagues, or teammates. When partners become intimate, terms such as soul mate are more appropriate as these individuals become focused on a common goal.

So then, those who are people of faith are blessed and made happy and favored by God [as partners in fellowship] with the believing and trusting Abraham, Lamentations 4:10.

Meanwhile, a fellowship is formed when multiple people form a friendly association based upon a shared interest. This joint venture often results in the establishment of a church, a safe place where people of faith can come together to reinforce their biblical beliefs. This is the context of the passage above as Jeremiah refers to the Jewish faith, partners in the fellowship due to their spiritual forefather Abraham.

Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

King Solomon illustrates the power of partners in the passage above. Solomon highlights the fact that there is power in numbers. Jehan Palsgrave was the first to record the expression “the more the merrier” in 1530. This mindset that the larger the number of participants, the greater the fun applies today in the context of a church. As one body with many parts, 1 Corinthians 12:1-7, with each possessing unique spiritual gifts, officially joining a church makes it possible to become partners in the Fellowship of Christ.

by Jay Mankus

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A Case Study in Religion vs. Relationships

Posted on February 3, 2021 by expressyourself4him

Religion is an interest that a pursuer ascribes to as their supreme importance. This pursuit results in a particular system of faith as individuals believe in and worship a personal God or gods. Meanwhile, relationships are the way in which two or more people are connected and behave toward each other. Relationships can be traced back to a common alliance, bond, or connection based upon shared values. Religion tends to focus on teetotalism, a rigid following of a clearly defined set of rules. Depending upon your own personal desire, relationships can be kept at an arms length, drawn closer, or become intimate.

For the whole Law [concerning human relationships] is complied with in the one precept, You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself, Galatians 5:14.

This case study begins with a first century sect referred to as the Judaizers. These Jewish converts to Christianity did not want to abandon their Old Testament heritage. Instead of focusing on their newly formed relationship with Jesus, the Judaizers overemphasized a strict adherence to Jewish customs. The leaders of this group convinced Gentile members of the Church in Galatia to become circumcised. Instead of following the apostles teaching in Romans 10:9-10, the Judaizers claimed that if you really wanted to be saved, “you need to to adopt Jewish customs and practices found in the Torah.”

But if you bite and devour one another [in partisan strife], be careful that you [and your whole fellowship] are not consumed by one another, Galatians 5:15.

The opposite side of this study is a woman who took relationships to the extreme. Unable to find love in normal relationships, Mary turned to prostitution, selling her body to unfulfilled men. Despite the money Mary made, the void in her heart remained. Instead of developing a physical attraction toward Jesus, a spiritual hunger was conceived. Eager to discover meaning in life, Mary becomes a follower of Jesus, trying to reconcile all the poor decisions of her past. Based upon the actions taken in John 12:3, Mary was closely listening to Jesus’ teaching. Perhaps a sign of contrition, Mary takes an expensive bottle of perform and anoints Jesus’ feet.

But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God), Galatians 5:16.

The passage above offers a solution to souls wrestling with religion verses relationships. While religion provides a sense of direction, relationships offer freewill to choose your level of commitment. According to the apostle Paul, there is an internal tug of war going on within your mind daily. Instead of feeling forced to go to church or behave in a certain manner, walk and live habitually in the Holy Spirit. As Christians begin to develop a permanent meaningful lasting relationship with Jesus, you will want to go to church, pray and read the Bible. When you embrace the freedom Jesus offers, faith replaces the need for religion. Thus, choose the abundant life Jesus promises by keeping in step with the Holy Spirit.

by Jay Mankus

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