Tag Archives: overcoming stuttering

Israel’s Last Words

Posted on November 25, 2023 by expressyourself4him

I tend to be a man of few words. Perhaps, two decades of struggling with severe stuttering wil take its toll on a fragile heart, soul, and mind. While Moses describes Jacob who would become Israel as an opinionated individual, he remains silent when some of his children and grandchildren over-reacted and sinned. Perhaps, Israel needed time to digest these wrong actions. Whatever the reason, Israel’s last words before dying serve as a prophecy and warning to the men who will become the fathers of the 12 tribes of Israel.

And he blessed them that day, saying, By you shall Israel bless [one another], saying, May God make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh. And he set Ephraim before Manasseh. 21 And Israel said to Joseph, Behold, I [am about to] die, but God will be with you and bring you again to the land of your fathers. 22 Moreover, I have given to you [Joseph] one portion [Shechem, one mountain slope] more than any of your brethren, which I took [reclaiming it] out of the hand of the Amorites with my sword and with my bow, Genesis 48:20-22.

Following the brash actions of Simeon and Levi in Genesis 34:24-29, Jacob addresses his two sons. However, based upon the words of Moses, Jacob is more concerned that the actions taken by Simeon and Levi will unite his enemies. After having years to digest their wrongdoing, Israel’s last words begin by addressing violence in Genesis 49:5. The majority of Israel’s last word come in the form of prophecy, based upon how their lives will end up in the form of blessings and curses.

All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said to them as he blessed them, blessing each one according to the blessing suited to him. 29 He charged them and said to them, I am to be gathered to my [departed] people; bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite, 30 In the cave in the field at Machpelah, east of Mamre in the land of Canaan, that Abraham bought, along with the field of Ephron the Hittite, to possess as a cemetery. 31 There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife, there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife, and there I buried Leah. 32 The purchase of the field and the cave that is in it was from the sons of Heth. 33 When Jacob had finished commanding his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed and breathed his last and was gathered to his [departed] people, Genesis 49:28-33.

As human beings grew old, individuals may have specific requests that they want carried out when they die. Depending upon the person, some may be bizarre with others more reasonable. As for Israel, he wanted to be buried in the same cemetery as his grandfather and great grandfather. This is a common practice that has been adopted by many Americans. According to Moses, Jacob’s sons fulfilled Israel’s last words in Genesis 50:12.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

The Redeeming Angel

Posted on November 7, 2023 by expressyourself4him

The textbook definition of redeem is to compensate for the faults or bad aspects of (something). From a spiritual perspective, human beings are fallen creatures, falling short of being able to earn or meet God’s glory, Romans 3:9-12. If no one is righteous, mankind is in desperate need of a redeeming angel. Moses refers to God as this spiritual being, the One who makes our sins as white as snow, Isaiah 1:16-18.

Then [Jacob] blessed Joseph and said, God [Himself], before Whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac lived and walked habitually, God [Himself], Who has [been my Shepherd and has led and] fed me from the time I came into being until this day, 16 The [b]redeeming Angel [that is, the Angel the Redeemer—not a created being but the Lord Himself] Who has redeemed me continually from every evil, bless the lads! And let my name be perpetuated in them [may they be worthy of having their names coupled with mine], and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them become a multitude in the midst of the earth, Genesis 48:15-16.

Perhaps, Moses’ description of God as a redeeming angel comes from his own personal experience in Exodus 4:10-14. When asked by God to be the voice of Israel, Moses rejects God’s call due to some sort of speech impediment. While God initially sends Moses’ brother Aaron to speak to Pharaoh on Israel’s behalf, the redeeming angel at some point heals Moses’ stuttering. Once Moses gains confidence to talk, Aaron is no longer necessary to speak on his behalf.

Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place, 10 There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent. 11 For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service], Psalm 91:9-11.

Depending upon your current situation, you may need redemption or saved from a debilitating condition. According to the Psalmist, those who take refuge in the Lord will have angels sent to accompany, defend, and preserve your life. Yet, just as Jesus told his disciples, those who lack belief and faith will not be able to overcome life’s obstacles, Matthew 21:18-22. May today’s blog motivate you to trust in the Redeeming Angel of God.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Removing Spiritual Obstacles by Facing Your Fears

Posted on November 6, 2023 by expressyourself4him

For the first 21 years of my life, I was afraid to speak, not knowing if I would suffer another stuttering fit when I opened my mouth. I knew what I wanted to say in my heart, but rarely could I verbalize what I wanted to express. After numerous embarrassing moments, I could have let fear overwhelm my soul, but my competitive nature refused to let me to give up trying.

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you], Romans 12:1-2.

Jesus compared the Devil to the father of all lies, John 8:44. One of Jesus’ disciples viewed this spiritual predator as an animal on the top of the food chain, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice, 1 Peter 5:8. Meanwhile, the apostle Paul points to the angelic powers of this invisible creature, Ephesians 2:2. Since the Devil isn’t going anywhere, the next option is to begin by removing spiritual obstacles by facing your fears.

If then you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, thus sharing His resurrection from the dead], aim at and seek the [rich, eternal treasures] that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth. 3 For [as far as this world is concerned] you have died, and your [new, real] life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, Who is our life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in [the splendor of His] glory. 5 So kill (deaden, [a]deprive of power) the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin]: sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God), Colossians 3:1-5.

Since God made every human being unique, fears vary from person to person. After being teased relentlessly as a child due to stuttering, I learned to stop caring about what other people think. The only person you can control is yourself and that’s hard enough as it is. Yet, if you don’t confront what you’re fearful of, your anxieties will only intensify. Therefore, arm yourself with the power of the Holy Spirit, 2 Timothy 1:7, so that fear will be conquered, and obstacles vanquished.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Thinking Rather Than Trusting in God

Posted on May 20, 2023 by expressyourself4him

In this age of social enlightenment, educators are redefining truth. This mentality has opened the door for progressive ideology and opinions to be elevated to fact status. Instead of trusting the Good Book, the Bible, many Christians have followed in the footsteps of Abraham and Isaac. When each were challenged by severe famines, each chose to think creatively rather than place their complete trust in God.

And the men of the place asked him about his wife, and he said, She is my sister; for he was afraid to say, She is my wife—[thinking], Lest the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah, because she is attractive and is beautiful to look upon. 8 When he had been there a long time, Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out of a window and saw Isaac caressing Rebekah his wife. 9 And Abimelech called Isaac and said, See here, she is certainly your wife! How did you [dare] say to me, She is my sister? And Isaac said to him, Because I thought, Lest I die on account of her. 10 And Abimelech said, What is this you have done to us? One of the men might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt and sin upon us, Genesis 26:7-10.

As someone who lost a losing battle with stuttering for the first two decades of my life, I became good at thinking about conversations and imagining various scenarios. Unfortunately, deep down, I developed the ungodly belief that I would never be able to truly express the feelings in my heart and the thoughts in my mind. Thanks to books like Restoring the Foundations by Chester and Becky Kylstra, I slowly began to trust God.

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. 6 In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. 7 Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil, Proverbs 3:5-7.

Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of the first verses in the Bible that I memorized. However, being able to recall a passage word for word from the Bible isn’t the same as putting it into practice. Matthew 7:24-27 is one of the most powerful messages recorded in the Bible. Thinking is more of theory whereas trust is an act of faith. To those who are able let go and take God at His Word, promises in the Bible, you’ll grow out thinking and move on to putting Jesus’ words into practice.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

When God Talked Out Loud to Himself

Posted on March 27, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As someone who struggled with stuttering for the first 20 years of my life, I often talked to myself. Since I rarely expressed how I felt inside my heart, talking to myself was more like a pep talk with the hope when I open ed my mouth in public I would communicate exactly what I wanted to say. Unfortunately, my nerves and or stuttering always prevented me from expressing a clear and concise message.

And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham [My friend and servant] what I am going to do, 18 Since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed through him and shall bless themselves by him? – Genesis 18:17-18.

I’ve read the Book of Genesis multiple times, but I never realized that God actually talked out loud to Himself according to Moses. Perhaps, this is what the Holy Spirit wanted Moses to mention in the passage above. Whatever the reason for this rare moment, God didn’t want to leave Abraham in the dark about his plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, where his nephew was currently living.

For I have known (chosen, acknowledged) him [as My own], so that he may teach and command his children and the sons of his house after him to keep the way of the Lord and to do what is just and righteous, so that the Lord may bring Abraham what He has promised him. 20 And the Lord said, Because the shriek [of the sins] of Sodom and Gomorrah is great and their sin is exceedingly grievous, Genesis 18:19-20.

The Holy Spirit was sent following Jesus’ ascension into heaven, Acts 2, to speak to modern day Christians. According to the apostle Paul, if you’re paying attention spiritually, Galatians 5:25, you can actually keep in step with the Holy Spirit. Paul’s message to the Church in Rome is similar, Romans 8:1-12, suggesting Christian’s have an obligation to God’s Spirit. While you probably won’t ever hear God talk out loud to Himself, God’s still small voice is audible if you’re listening, 1 Kings 19:11-13.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

When God Makes You Laugh

Posted on February 28, 2023 by expressyourself4him

The book definition of sarcasm is the use of irony to mock or convey contempt. Yet, most teenagers use sarcasm as a coping mechanism; a way to prevent their hopes from being ripped out of their hearts. When I struggled to express myself in high school due to stuttering, sarcasm helped ease the pain deep down in my soul. Subsequently, sarcasm and sarcastic friends made me laugh when I really wanted to have a pity party.

And God said to Abraham, As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai; but Sarah [Princess] her name shall be. 16 And I will bless her and give you a son also by her. Yes, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall come from her. 17 Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said in his heart, Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a son? – Genesis 17:15-17

Despite God’s character and nature in the Old Testament of being righteous and just, there are accounts which reveal the Lord’s sense of humor, 1 Kings 18:15-29. When God calls Elijah to have a spiritual duel with the worshippers of Baal, there are several jabs taken by Elijah, suggestions on why Baal isn’t responding. However, sometimes God will speak to you or send someone into your life to reveal a promise from God that makes no sense logically speaking.

And [he] said to God, Oh, that Ishmael might live before You! 19 But God said, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son indeed, and you shall call his name Isaac [laughter]; and I will establish My covenant or solemn pledge with him for an everlasting covenant and with his posterity after him, Genesis 17:18-19.

When a woman is past their prime according to Google, via Don Lemon, having a child over the age of forty is rare. As for Sarah, she was approaching ninety, which is why Sarah likely laughed sarcastically at the news she would give birth to a child. Sometimes God makes you laugh when you need to be cheered up. However, when you serve a supernatural God, Sarah’s laughter was no joke as God was serious and does fulfill His promise in Genesis 21:5. There is a time for everything so don’t be surprised the next time God makes you laugh.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

S.A.N.S. Episode 311: Go Tell It on the Mountain

Posted on December 9, 2022 by expressyourself4him

I have a special connection with Go Tell It on the Mountain. While in 6th grade, I actually sang a solo in Harlan Elementary’s Christmas play. While my stuttering was my greatest fear, God intervened to nail the second stanza of Go Tell It On The Moutain. As was one of three shepherds, playing second number two. I sang “when I was a young one, I prayed both night and day. I asked to Lord to help me and He showed me the way… which led back to the chorus.

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing ([f]saying) that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us. 16 So they went with haste and [[g]by searching] found Mary and Joseph, and the Baby lying in a manger. 17 And when they saw it, they made known what had been told them concerning this Child, 18 And all who heard it were astounded and marveled at what the shepherds told them, Luke 2:15-18.

I tried searching You Tube for one that included my line, but most modern versions don’t include this portion. Therefore, I decided to feature Sara Evans who sang this at the CMA Country Christmas Special on television. It would have been nice to have a copy, proof that I was in a play and that I could sing when I was younger, but most VHS versions didn’t survive. Regardless, this song was inspired by a group of shepherds that God chose to notify about the birth of a baby who would become the Savior of this world.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Is Winning Everything?

Posted on September 2, 2022 by expressyourself4him

When you’re not a good student as a child, you try to find one aspect of life where you excel. As for me, stuttering prevented me from receiving positive recognition in class. The only thing I seemed to be good at was running. As my stick figure, skinny bones body began to fill in, winning little league games became a habit. Subsequently, I got addicted to winning as it became everything to me.

For whatever is born of God is victorious over the world; and this is the victory that conquers the world, even our faith. 5 Who is it that is victorious over [that conquers] the world but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God [who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on that fact]? – 1 John 5:4-5.

This winning is everything attitude stuck with me until college. During my first semester at the University of Delaware, I rejected God like Peter who publicly denied knowing Jesus following his arrest, Mark 14:66-72. Although older neighbors warned me of the temptations on campus, I thought I could handle it. Indulging myself in the college party scene taught me a valuable lesson about the Lordship of Christ.

And this is that testimony (that evidence): God gave us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. 12 He who possesses the Son has that life; he who does not possess the Son of God does not have that life. 13 I write this to you who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) the name of the Son of God [in [c]the peculiar services and blessings conferred by Him on men], so that you may know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that you [already] have life, [d]yes, eternal life, 1 John 5:11-13.

The Fellowship of Christian Athletes brought me back to God. During a spiritual retreat on the campus of James Madison University, a burning conviction penetrated my heart. This gnawed at me all weekend until I jumped out of my chair at an open mic in the wee hours of Sunday morning. During this moment of public confession, I exchanged winning is everything for a will to make Jesus the Lord of my life, Romans 10:9-11. True inning on earth is making your eternal reservations for heaven.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Five Months of Torment

Posted on August 11, 2022 by expressyourself4him

Torment may involve mental or physical suffering. Those who have endured torment experience extreme circumstances. This is usually associated with a previous accident, battle with illness or ongoing medical condition. My personal torment lasted twenty years of coping with a severe stutter that crippled my ability to share what was on heart or on my mind. Every time I opened my mouth as a child, I was fearful of embarrassing myself like that reading circle in first grade.

Then out of the smoke locusts came forth on the earth, and such power was granted them as the power the earth’s scorpions have. 4 They were told not to injure the herbage of the earth nor any green thing nor any tree, but only [to attack] such human beings as do not have the seal (mark) of God on their foreheads, Revelation 9:3-4.

According to one of his letters to the Church at Corinth, the apostle Paul dealt with his own inner demons. Paul describes this condition as a thorn in his flesh, likely an infected splinter, 2 Corinthians 12:7. According to Paul, a messenger of Satan came to torture and torment him for an extended period of time. Despite these circumstances, 2 Corinthians 12:8-12 reveals the valuable spiritual lesson Paul learned. Whatever your situation, the weaker you are opens the door for Jesus to become strong.

They were not permitted to kill them, but to torment (distress, vex) them for five months; and the pain caused them was like the torture of a scorpion when it stings a person, Revelation 9:5.

Luke 16:19-31 tells a parable of a man suffering in hell. This eternally condemned rich man asks if he can return to earth to warn his living family. Yet, Abraham denies his request as individuals must repent on their own. Today’s passage speaks of a physical torment in the last days on earth. Creatures from the Abyss which are a hybrid between locusts and scorpions were sent to torment mankind. The pain of being stung would linger for up to five months. May this glimpse of future events help you appreciate the little blessings in life.

by Jay Mankus

1 Comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

When Did Your Ministry Begin?

Posted on May 6, 2020 by expressyourself4him

During his Sunday broadcast on the Trinity Broadcasting Network, Jentezen Franklin told stories of visiting his grandfather as child. Growing up in a family of musicians and preachers enabled Jentezen to develop ministry skills prior to becoming a teenager. These experiences sowed a desire within Jentezen to become a pastor. Looking back, this is where his ministry was conceived. Shortly after listening to this sermon, I received a text informing me that my spiritual mentor Ken Horne had passed away. This news led me to ponder, when and where did my ministry begin.

And Peter answered them, Repent (change your views and purpose to accept the will of God in your inner selves instead of rejecting it) and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of and release from your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, Acts 2:38.

As an individual with an addictive personality, when I accepted Jesus into my heart in December of my sophomore year, it taken take long for me to become a Jesus freak. This spiritual pursuit began attending Fellowship of Christian Athlete huddle at Concord High, led by my swim coach Ken Horne. Afraid of stuttering, I spent the next year listening, absorbing everything that I heard. From here I started attending a Methodist youth group, experienced my first Lay Witness Mission revival weekend and went on as many Christians retreats as possible. Several of these moments involved Ken, delegating to me various leaderships roles as my faith grew.

Such [former] ages of ignorance God, it is true, ignored and allowed to pass unnoticed; but now He charges all people everywhere to repent (to change their minds for the better and heartily to amend their ways, with abhorrence of their past sins), Acts 17:30.

While in college, Ken gave me my first opportunity to preach. This weekend in Friendship, Maryland was like having all the stars align in my favor. Beside having an amazing time and connecting with several young people, my stuttering disappeared. Whenever I opened my mouth, the Holy Spirit spoke through me as a vessel for God. My friend Maureen had passed away the previous year from cancer so the message God put on my heart was “It’s Time to Stop Playing Games by Getting Right with God.” At the end of my message I played the song Feel the Nails by Ray Boltz. Before the song concluded, several members of this church ran to the altar. This one event in 1990 cemented my calling and it was here where my ministry began.

by Jay Mankus

Leave a comment

Posted in Truth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
← Older Posts
→