Tag Archives: married

A Father’s Duty to Bless Their Children

Before I got married, a Christian friend recommended that I read a book entitled the Blessing. Co-written by John Trent and Gary Smalley, this book touches on the need of a son to ask for his father’s blessing prior to starting a new life on your own. While it was awkward, my father blessed my decision to propose to Leanne in 1994. Yet, the more I study the Bible, I’ve discovered that its a father’s duty to bless their children as well.

When Israel [almost blind] saw Joseph’s sons, he said, Who are these? And Joseph said to his father, They are my sons, whom God has given me in this place. And he said, Bring them to me, I pray you, that I may bless them. 10 Now Israel’s eyes were dim from age, so that he could not see. And Joseph brought them near to him, and he kissed and embraced them. 11 Israel said to Joseph, I had not thought that I would see your face, but see, God has shown me your offspring also. 12 Then Joseph took [the boys] from [his father’s embrace] and he bowed [before him] with his face to the earth, Genesis 48:8-12.

The book of Genesis is filled with examples of fathers blessing their children and grandchildren prior to their death. While some fathers may not feel comfortable placing their hand on a child or adult’s thigh, this is Israel’s blueprint. Although the elderly may not be able to see who they are blessing, Joseph places Jacob’s hand upon his children. From a traditional sense, the firstborn son receives the father’s blessing. Yet, Jacob broke this trend as a son and a father.

But his bow remained strong and steady and rested in the Strength that does not fail him, for the arms of his hands were made strong and active by the hands of the Mighty God of Jacob, by the name of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel, 25 By the God of your father, Who will help you, and by the Almighty, Who will bless you with blessings of the heavens above, blessings lying in the deep beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb. 26 The blessings of your father [on you] are greater than the blessings of my forefathers [Abraham and Isaac on me] and are as lasting as the bounties of the eternal hills; they shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him who was the consecrated one and the one separated from his brethren and [the one who] is prince among them, Genesis 49:24-26.

Beside a biblical blessing found in Genesis, Moses suggests that fathers should also verbally affirm, bless, encourage, and praise their children. These kind words shouldn’t come in the form of exaggerations or lies, but an honest assessment of what your child’s full potential may look like. This doesn’t mean discipline shouldn’t be ruled out when necessary, Hebrews 12:5-7. Whatever you end up doing as a parent, remember to bless, inspire, and motivate your children in the Lord.

by Jay Mankus

A Case Study of Women Rushing to Have Their Own Child

As a former high school teacher and youth pastor, I’ve observed the beginning and end of many relationships. Some of these couples ended up getting married and are still together today. Some ended abrupted with others resulting in the birth of a child out of wedlock. Whenever I talk with others about this topic, I am reminded of the classic Kenny Marks song “the Party’s Over.”

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, See here, the Lord has restrained me from bearing [children]. I am asking you to have intercourse with my maid; it may be that I can obtain children by her. And Abram listened to and heeded what Sarai said. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her Egyptian maid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his [secondary] wife. And he had intercourse with Hagar, and she became pregnant; and when she saw that she was with child, she looked with contempt upon her mistress and despised her, Genesis 16:1-4.

While studying the Book of Genesis to begin to 2023, a pattern began to develop with women rushing to have their own child without thinking about the consequences. As a desperate barren woman, Sarah thought it was a good idea to give his husband, Abraham, a second wife. Hagar gave birth to Ishmael, the father of the Arab nations, an enemy that Israel is still dealing with today.

And Lot went up out of Zoar and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him, for he feared to dwell in Zoar; and he lived in a cave, he and his two daughters. 31 The elder said to the younger, Our father is aging, and there is not a man on earth to live with us in the customary way. 32 Come, let us make our father drunk with wine, and we will lie with him, so that we may preserve offspring (our race) through our father. 33 And they made their father drunk with wine that night, and the older went in and lay with her father; and he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she arose. 34 Then the next day the firstborn said to the younger, See here, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drunk with wine tonight also, and then you go in and lie with him, so that we may preserve offspring (our race) through our father, Genesis 19:30-34.

Meanwhile, if the Jerry Springer Show existed back in the days of the Old Testament, Lot’s two daughters would have definitely been asked to appear. Jerry begins with a simple question, “what were you thinking when you had sex with your old man?” This leads to intimate details, bickering over who was better in bed. As bouncers break up this cat fight, Lot’s daughters gave birth to the fathers of the Moabites and Ammonites, pagan countries who fought with Israel in the Old Testament. Today’s passages serve as a case study of women rushing to have their own child, not an ideal outcome, past or present.

by Jay Mankus

Get Rid of It

As a child, there were always a couple of things I dreaded.  Whether it was cleaning my room, doing homework or eating vegetables, my parents nagged me into obedience.  However, unless you are married or have a significant other, the older you get, the less you will hear people say, “get rid of it.”

So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech, 1 Peter 2:1.

This was not the case in the first century.  As a growing number of Gentiles came to faith in Christ, apostles began to share a common message.  Prior to any exposure to religion, most individuals follow in the ways of their ancestors or parents.  Yet, entering into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is like being reborn.  Therefore, drastic changes to your life must be made if you want to experience spiritual fruit.

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves, Galatians 5:16.

Peter talks about purging yourself from the impurities of life.  Meanwhile, the apostle Paul provides more specific instructions, using the Holy Spirit as a guide for life.  Although any type of change is difficult, obedience to these two passages will result in future blessings.  Thus, whether you like it or not, parents are usually right, so get rid of those things which drag you down while there is still time.

by Jay Mankus

Consequences of the Second Glance

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.  From the roof he saw a woman bathing.  The woman was very beautiful, 2 Samuel 11:2.

As the third anniversary of this blog approaches, nearly fifty percent of the comments on Express Yourself 4 Him have been inspired by The Second Glance.  Written well over a year ago, readers have requested a follow up post or more information regarding this topic.  Thus, after mediating on this subject, today’s piece was born.

Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. – 2 Samuel 11:4a

At first, the second glance is inspired by curiosity, perhaps wanting to dwell on the beauty of an attractive male or female.  However, as David learned the hard way, this double take ignites a spirit of lust.  Like an uncontrollable beast, David skipped over the fact that Bathsheba was married, allowing temptation to have its way since her husband was out of town.  This Fatal Attraction blinded David’s mind, willing to cover up his sin with an Indecent Proposal that ended in murder.

For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. – 1 John 2:16

Outside of the Bible, one of the greatest examples of the consequences of the second glance was lived out in the life of Ted Bundy.  Prior to his execution on January 24, 1989, Bundy was granted an interview with James Dobson.  Oddly enough, Ted’s addiction to pornography began with a copy of the Sear’s Catalog.  In his case, the second glance led to an addiction that exploded into a life of lust, rape and serial killings.  Unfortunately, no one can escape the words of James 1:15 below.

Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

May this blog serve as a warning, scaring people straight away from sin and toward a God of reason, Isaiah 1:18-20.

by Jay Mankus

 

Pressing On When Your Body Says No

When you are young, recovery happens over night.  As Father Time catches up,  just the slightest exertion of energy can result in lingering aches and pain.  While mind over matter may work for a couple of days, how can you press on when your body says no?

As for me, an employee of Amazon or anyone in retail sales, Christmas is a hectic season.  Sales are like a drug for bargain shoppers, influencing business owners to remain open 7 days a week.  Married to your job, family, friends and hobbies take a backseat.  This strain has deflated my soul with several weeks still to go, hanging on by a thread.

In this state of exhaustion, I am reminded of the apostle Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.  When your body says no, athletes push their bodies to the extreme.  Blocking out any pain, runners often enter a trace, focused on maintaining a steady pace.  Though cars, dogs or traffic may break people out of this state, this mentality helps these individuals reach a place most never find.

From a spiritual perspective, words from the Bible are building blocks.for faith.  When placed into an impossible situation, God’s Word provide a source of strength.  As you learn to trust in Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30, a fresh wind arrives via the Holy Spirit.  Therefore, the next time your body says no, find rest, hope and renewal in prayer to keep on keeping on.

by Jay Mankus

I Can’t Wait Another Day to Act

Whether you’re brushing your teeth, combing your hair or shaving, mirrors reflect the grim reality of physical features.  Every minor imperfection is magnified, leaving a spirit of disappointment hovering over hearts, minds and souls who have let their bodies go.  As I looked at my expanding waist line the other night, one thought reverberated in my head, “I can’t wait another day to act!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeGLsIt_5pM

Gone are the days of high metabolisms as bad eating habits show up quickly.  In the meantime, the freshman 15 has led to the married 25, resulting in the lazy 50.  When your eyes are opened to a crisis of weight, you have 3 options: accept it, continue in a state of deny or be motivated to make drastic changes.  As for me, I’m somewhere between accepting and action, praying for the discipline for success.

Luke 14L28 suggests that everyone should consider the cost before making any decision.  Whether you’re contemplating a career change, diet or move, you have to weigh the pros and cons.  Although I haven’t developed a concrete plan, exercise and giving up soda is a good place to start.  Regardless of the obstacle standing in your way, don’t wait another day or else the additional calories may be too much to overcome.

by Jay Mankus