Tag Archives: Heartbreak

When You Come Up One Shot Short

Unlike most sports, golf doesn’t use a running clock with a set number of periods or quarters.  Rather, tournaments consist of a defined number of holes depending upon the degree of competition.  For the past sixteen years I have spent the two days after Memorial Day watching the Delaware High School State Golf Tournament.  My first ten years were spent as a head coach, the last six as a parent and volunteer on the state committee running this event behind the scenes.  Over the past two decades, I’ve seen more heartbreak than jubilation.  One golfer endured 180 shots over 18 holes while a recent senior missed out on qualifying for states by one stroke two years in a row.  In view of this, how do you move on when you come up one shot short?

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light, Colossians 1:11-12.

When I experienced disappointment, failure and setbacks as a teenager, one adult suggested that I go back to the drawing board.  The point of this idiom encourages those who fail to go back to the beginning, hoping to figure out what went wrong and why.  During my final spring at Concord High, my last golf season got off to a miserable start.  After two embarrassing losses, I spent an afternoon playing 36 holes in the rain.  Channeling my anger in a positive manner, I refused to repeat the same stupid mistakes for the rest of the season.  This day served as a turning point, when God gave me a resolve to do whatever it took to reach my full potential.  By the end of the season, I was leading the state tournament after day one and despite fading on the back nine during the final round, a top ten finish resulted in all state honors.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him, James 1:12.

Sometimes, individuals are given back stage access, able to interact with celebrities and stars.  Such was the case for the earthly brother of Jesus who never believed until the resurrection.  The words from the passage above were inspired by the attitude demonstrated by Jesus throughout his life.  Jesus didn’t dwell over bad breaks, criticism or results that didn’t meet his own expectations.  Rather, Jesus remained steadfast despite coming up just short from time to time.  Therefore, when you come up one shot short in life, ask the Holy Spirit for the resolve to press on until dreams, goals or visions are fulfilled.

by Jay Mankus

 

A Man Can Only Take So Much Failure

Parents tend to possess unique ways of motivating their children.  Over the years, most learn which buttons to push and which to avoid.  In the 1996 film Invincible, Kevin Conway plays Vince Papale’s father.  After thinking about backing out of an open try out hosted by the Philadelphia Eagles, Conway addresses Vince played by Mark Wahlberg.  Using reverse psychology, Conway suggests, “Vince, maybe you should sit this one out.  A man can only take so much failure.”

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,” 2 Corinthians 12:9.

While I have watched this movie several times, this quote struck a cord in my heart for the first time last weekend.  To an extent, this expression is true as human beings can only handle so much.  Over time, everyone reaches a breaking point that leads to depression, heartbreak or suicide.  Thus, when you approach, near or reach this desolate place, it’s essential to turn your attention to God’s grace and mercy as instructed by the passage above.

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong, 2 Corinthians 12:10.

The unlikely journey of Vince Papale from bartender to professional football player parallels the life of the apostle Paul.  Vince relies on his friends to get him through the loss of his wife and child.  Meanwhile, Paul places his trust in Christ alone.  The man who once persecuted Christians and gave the order to have Stephen executed ends up becoming a follower of the movement he once despised.  When individuals come to a crossroads in life, you have to eventually choose.  You may have two or multiple paths to decide from.  Yet, if you resolve to fulfill a childhood dream, make sure humility results in leaning on God’s power as a man can only take so much failure.

by Jay Mankus

The One that Got Away

One of the certainties in life is that you will experience disappointment at some point in time.  Despite having an ideal or perfect day, there will be outcomes that surprise you.  These twists and turns having lasting effects, especially when you are so close to victory.  Thus, everyone has a story, as painful as it may be about the one that got away.

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, 1 Peter 1:6.

As a student in high school, I was one dimensional.  Although I eventually improved my grade point average, my sole concern was with sports.  I guess you can say I lived and died with each victory and loss.  While I was blessed to be apart of many great teams, I never won a state championship, finishing second in cross country, third in a swimming relay and fourth in golf.  If only I was healthy, stronger or I could putt, the ending may have been different.  Since there is no time travel device or vehicle to go back, all I can do is think about what might have been.

These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed, 1 Peter 1:7.

Each of these failures digs up a certain degree of anguish.  As a junior I watched my cross country team lose by 7 points as I sat on the sidelines after reconstructive ankle surgery.  This was excruciating, but losing the state golf championship as a senior probably stings more, letting a first round lead slip away, clawing back to within one on the back nine, only to fade down the stretch.  Exactly why God allows individuals to endure heartbreak is hard to say.  Yet, in every defeat, there is a life lesson, something to learn from so you can overcome the one that got away.

by Jay Mankus

 

If the Lord had Not Been on My Side

If human beings could catch a glimpse of the spiritual dimension, a preview of what lies behind the scenes in life, perhaps souls would have a greater appreciation for divine intervention.  An individual loses their keys momentarily, only to escape a fatal car crash.  Someone wakes up with an uneasy feeling, deciding not to go to work at the World Trade Center on the day of 9/11/01.  A sluggish woman has a premonition to go to a doctor, finding a deadly disease in its infant stage, saving her life through early prevention.  Looking back on numerous miracles, if the Lord had not been on my side, I wouldn’t be alive today to write about it!

We have escaped like a bird from the fowler’s snare; the snare has been broken, and we have escaped. – Psalm 124:7

The Bible would be just another book if the boat God told Noah to build didn’t float.  If the flood waters of the mighty Nile decided to break as Israel was crossing upon dry land, Moses wouldn’t have survived to complete the Pentateuch.  Meanwhile, if Mary choose to abandon her new born babe before the Magi arrived, the Savior of World would be like all the aborted babies, a distant memory of what could have been, but never was.  Despite all of these scenarios, somehow, someway and for unforeseen purposes, the Lord of the heavens and earth choose to protect his people.

Our help is in the name of the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth, – Psalm 124:8

Like a scene from Groundhog Day, lives have been altered forever.  Unfortunately, not everyone has been saved, spared or protected.  Many have become victims, dealt a knock out blow, sending any hopes for life to the grave.  Many of those left behind on earth never recover, bitter at God for months, years and decades.  Feeling betrayed, few overcome the heartbreak and suffering of seeing wonderful souls eliminated from society by accidents, bloodshed and demonic influences.  May this piece give readers a new appreciation for life and faith to overcomes moments in time when God doesn’t appear to be on our side.

by Jay Mankus

Things That Break the Heart

If the words of King Solomon in Proverbs 4:23 hold true today, the heart is vulnerable to numerous attacks.  Beyond physical ailments, there are various trials which can upset, puncture or wound this precious organ.  As women lose a child to complications, a miscarriage or still born death, one can only imagine the grief experienced by this poor soul.  Beside the obvious, accidents, illness and shattered relationships can bombard an innocent heart, leaving pain that lasts a lifetime.

According to King David, another element inflicts jabs to the heart, Psalm 69:19-20.   Scorn is like a deadly weapon, poison on the tips of human tongues which derides a bystander, resulting in a sense of worthlessness.  In an attempt to get ahead in life, words cut like a knife using contempt, disdain and mockery.  When thoughts become verbalized, the Holy Spirit grieves, Ephesians 4:29, recognizing that a heart has been bruised by sticks and stones with names that do leave a scar on one ‘s soul.

Beside watching what you eat, it’s impossible to control or predict the circumstances in life.  Thus, it’s essential to guard your heart with the word of God, Psalm 119:9-11.  No matter where you live or work, unless you’re prepared for the future, you will likely fail,   Hosea 4:6.   Although heartbreak may be a way of life for some, you don’t have to accept this negative mindset.  Yet, when a piece of your heart does break, remember the promise of Psalm 34:18.  In God’s timing, He will mend your broken heart.

by Jay Mankus

A Pedestal of Disappointment

There are certain individuals which possess gravitas, tempting family, friends and followers to place them up on a pedestal.  These dynamics personalities make it hard not to jump on the bandwagon as some become held in high regards as a cultural hero.  However, when you choose to place someone up on a pedestal, its a matter of time before you will experience disappointment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHgcHfc6z9Q

According to Romans 3:23, no one is perfect.  Regardless of your efforts and motives, sooner or later will you fail, mess up or make a mistake.  This blunder often shatters the image of your fans, causing many to jump ship.  In the aftermath of sin, its difficult to come with terms with the failures of leaders.  The painful reality of this disappointment will make you think twice before placing another treasured soul on a pedestal.

The relational aspect of life makes people vulnerable to pain.  Perhaps, a growing number of adults are forgoing marriage to avoid the heartbreak of unfilled vows.  While you may believe this is a good idea, there is only One who is worth placing up on a pedestal, Hebrews 4:14-16.  Don’t blame the creator for imperfect people.  Rather, lift up the only One who is worthy to be praised, Romans 5:8.

by Jay Mankus

 

Deep Wounds

As a child, you tend to place your favorite people up on a pedal stool, doing no wrong in your eyes.  However, when reality sets in as these people shatter your perfect image of them, heart break often follows.  Subsequently, deep wounds open, inflicting your soul with anguish unlike anything you’ve experienced before.

During the days of Israel’s exile, the prophet Jeremiah pours out his heart in a letter entitled Lamentations.  Weeping through his writing, Jeremiah refers to wounds as deep as the sea floor, Lamentations 2:13.  Perhaps Jeremiah is struggling with his expectations of God’s promises compared to the reality of his current condition.  Like being rejected by the man or woman of your dreams, deep wounds form which some never recover from or take years to heal.

If you stop for a moment to look around, you are probably surrounded by individuals hiding their pain.  Whether it’s the reckless driver on your way to work, the disgruntled employee or quiet neighbor, each is trying to cope with their pain.  Depending upon your response to their needs, you will either sooth or worsen their wounds.  Let your light shine today, Matthew 5:13, to help others begin to heal from the deep wounds of life.

Please comment on how you have been healed or helped someone else start this process.

by Jay Mankus