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Tag Archives: glaucoma

When God Has a Change in Plans

Back in 2016, I had emergency eye surgery in my right eye to prevent glaucoma from escalating.  After this operation, my surgeon informed me of a cataract that would need to be addressed in the future.  The initial goal was to wait a year then have cataract surgery.  However, this got pushed back until yesterday or least that’s what I thought.  When my blood pressure went from 130 over 80 Tuesday morning to 177 over 130 Thursday morning, God had a change of plans.  This procedure that involved six months of planning was abruptly cancelled.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps, Proverbs 16:9.

The older I get, the more analytical I become, pondering the reason for this delay.  Could I have died during this operation?  Did God prevent an accident from occurring?  Can God heal my eye supernaturally foregoing the need for this procedure?  Or did God want me to become painfully aware of a more pressing health need in my life?  As I ask these questions to God, I am still awaiting a clear response.  Nonetheless, King Solomon prepared the nation of Israel by warning people of God’s ability to alter, change or redirect your path.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand, Proverbs 19:21.

Currently, I find myself perplexed, essentially placed on bed rest until my blood pressure returns to a more normal level.  A few weeks before my senior year of college began, I broke my foot playing sand volleyball.  Instead of enjoying the final weeks of summer, I laid in bed, elevating my foot to reduce the swelling.  Five years ago a sledding accident resulted in 2 broken ribs and a collapsed lung, forced to take a medical leave of absence from work for five weeks.  When God quickly changes your plans, it’s not fun.  Yet, as I lie around in bed for a few days, I have time to reflect.  As I do, this is God’s way of reintroducing me to his plans, not mine.  Thus, I sit here quietly, listening intently and writing down for others in a blog what I am learning as I go through this tryin time in life.

by Jay Mankus

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One Year Later

A few days before Thanksgiving, an annual eye check up revealed a serious condition.  Unsettled by these dangerous symptoms, I was sent to an eye specialist the following week.  During this visit, the pressure in my right eye skyrocketed to eighty, fifteen is considered to be normal.  Afraid glaucoma might cause me to lose vision in my eye, this doctor called his friend, the top surgeon at Wills Eye Center in Philadelphia to schedule an emergency surgery.  This is a glimpse of the emotions that I endured just one year ago today.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light, 1 Peter 2:9.

Following a successful surgery, I looked like someone from a senior center, forced to wear those big wrap around sun glasses with dark lenses to protect my right eye.  To make a full recovery, I made routine trips back and forth from Philadelphia.  Initially, I took four different kinds of eye drops until I was slowly whittled off all of them.  Since I was taking one of these drops for nearly twenty years to battle iritis of the eye, my eye sight suffered, gradually becoming worse.  When I went to renew my driver’s license over the summer, I failed the eye test, unable to drive lawfully until this condition was resolved.  This stressful situation brought me back to the start, forced to rely solely on God for healing.

But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious, 1 Peter 3:4.

To the average person, December 4th is just another day on the calendar unless it’s your anniversary or birthday.  However, for me two life changing events transpired.  After hearing Skip Wilkins share his testimony at a Fellowship of Christian Athlete’s Speakout in high school, I dedicated my life to God in 1984 during an altar call.  I refer to December 4th as my spiritual birthday.  Thirty two years later, I trusted the Lord that my doctor would use his God given gifts to bring restoration to my worn out eyes.  Sure, it would be great to possess the 20/10 vision of my youth, but these life altering moments have drawn me closer to God.  One year later, I am thankful to be alive, to drive, see and write one blog a day until the Lord takes me home.

by Jay Mankus

A Race Against Time

When you hear someone mention the term race, it’s often in reference to Track & Field, Horses or Nascar.  Yet, my use is in the context of a personal battle.  Currently, I have fluid in my left eye along with a recent collapsed cell wall.  The sad thing is that this is my good eye.  Following emergency glaucoma surgery in December, a cataract has developed in my right eye to blur my vision.  Subsequently, I’m in a race against time to finish the book that I started this Spring.  Meanwhile, I still have a collection of screen plays I need to edit and an additional script in my head.  God willing I am hoping to complete these projects while I can still see.

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him, 1 John 5:14-15.

Seeing and believing are two different aspects of faith.  According to the verse above, prayers should be based upon God’s will.  However, if what you are asking is foreseeable in the context of God’s will, you should be confident in having this request honored.  The only problem with my current dilemma is I’m not sure if it’s in God’s will for me to write full time.  As for now, I am trying to maximize my time away from work so that I can make the most of the gift of sight.

And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith,” Matthew 21:22.

This second verse on prayer refers to overcoming mountains, persisting despite obstacles blocking your current path.  Since last winter, I wake up daily not knowing if my vision will be blurred or clear.  I have the faith for the Lord to heal and restore my sight, but a medical miracle has not arrived.  The only thing I can do is press on like the persistent widow.  This woman of faith did not stop praying until she received the outcome she desired.  Perhaps, perfect vision is illogical to hope for in prayer.  Yet, I cling to the promises in the Bible waiting for a miracle to occur in connection with God’s will.  This is my race against time.

by Jay Mankus

 

No Barriers

I was having one of those humbling/trying weeks where nothing seemed to go right.  As I was about to have a pity party for myself, I stumbled upon an article on the top 25 most adventurous men of the last 25 years.  Number 23 on this list was Erik Weihenmayer for kayaking through the Grand Canyon.  This feat may seem relatively obscure unless of course you consider the fact that Eric is blind.

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed,” John 20:29.

This incredible journey is detailed in the book No Barriers.  While I have had my own eye issues over the past 20 years, I am still able to see the beauty of God’s creation.  As someone who has canoed and kayaked down river rapids, past guides trained me to look for the V.  This is the safest place to enter rapids.  However, down one sense, Erik Weihenmayer has to rely solely on his hearing.  This is where ability and faith meet, trusting in God to get you down stream safely.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen, Hebrews 11:1.

It’s only fitting that I discovered No Barriers while waiting to see my eye doctor.  Despite my fears of glaucoma, I experienced a divine appointment with the Lord this afternoon.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself, this article was like a kick in the butt to persevere.  If Erik Weihenmayer can kayak blind through class four rapids on the Colorado River, then the Lord can still use my decaying body to bear spiritual fruit.  The only barriers that exist are seeds of doubt which cause many individuals to give up before obtaining your dreams in life.

by Jay Mankus

Hoping to See Another Sun Set

The image at the top of Express Yourself for Him was taken during a family vacation back in 2012.  The sun was setting upon Seal Beach, just south of Los Angeles when I began taking pictures with my ipad.  This is one of the few times in my life I actually slowed down to enjoy God’s creation in its infinite beauty as the sun set over the Pacific Ocean.

The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises, Ecclesiastes 1:5.

Five years later, doctors are wondering if my right eye will overcome glaucoma to see another sun set.  Tomorrow’s surgery is science’s logical answers to my disease.  Yet, in the heavenly realm, there are angels agreeing with prayers lifted by the saints.  Perhaps a combination of the two may be what I need for a miracle to arrive.

God set the earth on its foundations, so that it should never be moved, Psalm 104:5.

Either way, the future is a mystery, waiting to be unpeeled one day at a time.  I wish I could say that I am confident of my eye condition, but I can only take things one day at a time.  Therefore, I will press on with the Lord’s help savoring each sunset I get to see.

by Jay Mankus

The Will to Move On

When I was sixteen, a doctor told me I would never run again.  After tearing all the tendons in my left ankle, the bone twisted 90 degrees in the wrong direction.  The best case scenario given to me prior to my operation was that I would walk with a limp after placing a screw to hold this bone in place.  Despite the obstacles I faced, the prayers of the saints gave me the faith to move on.

And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; Mark 16:17.

By the time I reached my 21st birthday, stuttering was the next trial standing in my way of expressing myself verbally.  Attacks would come out of no where, causing me to lose my breath and confidence to speak.  One evening, a college roommate named Mike had a vision as I walked into our apartment.  Hanging out with a few believers from church, a circle engulfed me as these men began to lay hands on me.  The prayers proclaimed pleaded with God to free me permanently from stuttering.  Subsequently, God gave me the will to persevere.

“While you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your holy servant Jesus,” Acts 4:30.

My latest dilemma may be my greatest to date, a bout with glaucoma.  Once again, the odds are not on my side nor is science in my favor.  Yet, I serve a God who has raised the dead, cured the sick and given sight to the blind.  The mystery of the unknown will be tough to handle.  Nonetheless, I trust in a living God who has performed miracles in the past.  Therefore, I stand in awe, leaning on God’s grace who provides the will to move on.

by Jay Mankus

 

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