Tag Archives: disappointment

You’ll Never Know Unless You Try

Posted on July 7, 2016 by expressyourself4him

When I was younger, I thought I was better than I actually was.  I would talk smack, emotionally annoy opponents and wouldn’t back down from a confrontation.  Over time I have mellowed, learned the importance of humility and found contentment in my retirement from sports.  Yet, I’m thankful that I wasn’t afraid to fail as a professional golfer.

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come, 1 Timothy 4:8.

As I step away from competition, my son James faces a similar dilemma.  Despite being a state champion pole vaulter and 3 time all conference golfer, playing division one sports in college is a whole new ball game.  Thus, he has to decide do I risk embarrassment, humiliation or do I play it safe by avoiding disappointment?  My message to him is you’ll never know unless you try.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me, Philippians 3:12.

In my first golf mini-tour event, I shot 48 on the front nine, shaking so badly it was hard to swing a club.  I could have hung my head, quit or withdrawn from this competition.  Yet, I battled, birdieing the 10th, finding my rhythm on the back nine.  I never made any money nor did I reach the P.G.A. tour, but I walked away from this game knowing I did everything in my power to succeed.  Thus, whether you are my son, a friend or a stranger I meet along the road called life, you’ll never know your ultimate destiny unless you try by utilizing your God given talents.

by Jay Mankus

 

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The One that Got Away

Posted on July 3, 2016 by expressyourself4him

One of the certainties in life is that you will experience disappointment at some point in time.  Despite having an ideal or perfect day, there will be outcomes that surprise you.  These twists and turns having lasting effects, especially when you are so close to victory.  Thus, everyone has a story, as painful as it may be about the one that got away.

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, 1 Peter 1:6.

As a student in high school, I was one dimensional.  Although I eventually improved my grade point average, my sole concern was with sports.  I guess you can say I lived and died with each victory and loss.  While I was blessed to be apart of many great teams, I never won a state championship, finishing second in cross country, third in a swimming relay and fourth in golf.  If only I was healthy, stronger or I could putt, the ending may have been different.  Since there is no time travel device or vehicle to go back, all I can do is think about what might have been.

These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed, 1 Peter 1:7.

Each of these failures digs up a certain degree of anguish.  As a junior I watched my cross country team lose by 7 points as I sat on the sidelines after reconstructive ankle surgery.  This was excruciating, but losing the state golf championship as a senior probably stings more, letting a first round lead slip away, clawing back to within one on the back nine, only to fade down the stretch.  Exactly why God allows individuals to endure heartbreak is hard to say.  Yet, in every defeat, there is a life lesson, something to learn from so you can overcome the one that got away.

by Jay Mankus

 

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Pierced with Many Griefs

Posted on June 27, 2016 by expressyourself4him

The term pierce refers to a foreign object which accesses, enters or penetrates someone’s body.  This can be by choice for those who enjoy earrings or nose rings.  Meanwhile, sometimes piercings can occur without your permission, unexpected and without warning.  This is what the apostle Paul refers to as being pierced with many griefs.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs, 1 Timothy 6:10.

If every day is like a box of chocolates without any labels, nobody knows for sure what you are going to bite into and taste.  Therefore, preparations must be made to guard yourself against invisible piercings to your soul.  According to the passage above, contentment is a good place to start.  This should prevent individuals from the love of money which causes people to lose sight of the giver of life.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows, James 1:17.

When you don’t get the results that you want in life, disappointment can be like a blow to the stomach, knocking the wind out of you.  While the unfortunate are often stuck in misery.  The influential, powerful or wealthy tend to purchase the outcome that they want.  Perhaps this is the root of all evil, especially when people attempt to supersede the will of God.  Whatever the apostle Paul means by this verse in the Bible, don’t forget to ask the Lord for strength when the piercing of many griefs come knocking on your door.

by Jay Mankus

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The Hidden Blessing of Losing

Posted on June 2, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Over the last few decades, there has been a movement to shield young people from losing.  Whether its schools moving toward pass fail grading, youth sports attempting to not keep score or the idea that everyone should get a participation award, this notion is actually hurting children in the long run.  Whatever the reason for this trend, teenagers need to experience the hidden blessing of losing.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, James 1:2.

Losing often serves as a barometer, highlighting deficiencies that you possess.  Perhaps, you are not good enough.  Maybe, others wanted it more, worked harder than you or are simply more talented.  Either way, any type of loses provide life lessons to strengthen your character.  Some where between your last defeat and the next competition, time has a way of revealing what led to a loss and what you could do in the future to insure victory.

Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, James 1:3.

One year ago, my son James was heart broken after finishing 4th in the state in the pole vault.  Six months later, that pain reappeared, missing the medal stand once again by one place at the winter track state meet.  However, these loses fueled a desire to not let this happen again.  Thus, one week ago James not only reached the summit, winning the state pole vault title, he also led his track team to a state championship.  In the disappointment of defeat, individuals will find the hidden blessings of losing.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

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When Someone Else Screws Up

Posted on April 22, 2016 by expressyourself4him

When someone else screws up, there is a dark side within human beings that tends to come out.  Anger, disappointment and frustration converge to form a lethal combination.  If you don’t believe me, just spend a few minutes on twitter or any other social media outlet.  Words filled with venom trash, trample and attempt to ruin the life of those at fault.

But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison, James 3:8.

A few nights ago in Philadelphia this atmosphere played out at the Wells Fargo Center.  When the Flyers gave up 6 consecutive goals, three in the third period, some fans began to throw bracelets on to the ice used as a pre-game ceremony to honor their former owner Ed Snider.  This behavior led to a delay of game, allowing the Washington Capitals to play the final seven minutes of the game on the power play.  In the heat of the moment, people justify their reactions, blaming it on the person or team that screwed up.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear, Ephesians 4:29.

In life, we’ve all been on the losing side, the weakest link or the person to blame.  When the shoe is on the other foot, its not fun being the scapegoat, the one everyone despises.  Thus, whether you are the hero or the chump, its vital to remember the words of the apostle Paul.  Stay positive during periods of failure is crucial to surviving these difficult times in life.  May the encouragement of others build up and give those who screw up the grace to carry on.

by Jay Mankus

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The Energy Necessary for Making Peace

Posted on April 17, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Sometimes who you are and how you are perceived can be miles from the truth.  Yet, anyone who seeks to leave a lasting legacy may be surprised by the impressions that you make.  Such was the case for chemist Alfred Bernard Nobel who spent most of his earthly life pursuing patents, the most famous of which is dynamite.  When a premature obituary was published in a local paper, Nobel was shocked by the comments summarizing his life.  This moment of conviction gave birth to the Nobel Peace Prize investing his accumulated wealth into the formation of this annual award.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord, Hebrews 12:14.

The author of Hebrews sets a similar high standard, urging readers to do everything in their power to make peace.  This includes what I call extra grace individuals who have the gift of gnawing away at your patience.  No exceptions are made as everyone is included.  The target to aim for is holiness, imitating the life and love of Jesus.  Despite whatever human emotions you may experience, the Holy Spirit is the energy necessary for making peace.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world, John 16:33.

I wish I could say that I have arrived or am well on my way, but that would be a lie.  Unfortunately, disappointment, frustration and pain from the past has a way of developing into holding or keeping grudges.  This current place doesn’t take any effort nor is it holy.  And yet, there is one who has overcome the world.  Therefore, I take comfort in knowing God still forgives.  My job is not complete nor is the journey finished.  So I press on, praying and searching for the energy necessary for making peace.

by Jay Mankus

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The Long Road to Hope

Posted on April 8, 2016 by expressyourself4him

The long road to hope begins with suffering.  Following the aftermath of original sin detailed in Genesis 3, a cursed was placed on this earth.  God’s creation of His perfect world was ruined, leading to a life of disappointment, frustration and suffering.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 8:3.

Despite the pain often inflicted, individuals have something to look forward to the longer you walk down this road.  While your ego and pride may take a beating, glimmers of hope surface along the way.  Thus, when the sun breaks through the clouds, maturity is not that far away.

Perseverance, character; and character, hope, Romans 8:4.

If you hang in there long enough, a sense of hope comes into focus.  Beyond whatever self pity remains, God’s love still shines, radiating day after day.  When you don’t have the strength to take another step, a spirit is sent by your side to lead you to the end of this road.

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us, Romans 5:5.

The best way to describe God is like the scene in the Wizard of Oz.  Dorothy and her friends have been poisoned by a wicked witch, causing each to drift off to sleep, suddenly halting their journey.  Yet, snow is sent to awaken everyone so that they reach their final destination.  The Holy Spirit plays a similar role, the invisible force to help us persevere on the long road to hope.

by Jay Mankus

 

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A Shadow of Good Things to Come

Posted on March 27, 2016 by expressyourself4him

In Hollywood, hype is a popular form of promotion.  Thus, when producers believe their project is going to be a hit, money is invested in commercials to wet the pallet of consumers.  Sometimes this is an effective tool, but its not a blue print for success.  When a film, product or show does live up the the expectations based upon the hype, disappointment follows.  This is not the case for those who witnessed Resurrection Sunday.

The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming—not the realities themselves. For this reason it can never, by the same sacrifices repeated endlessly year after year, make perfect those who draw near to worship, Hebrews 10:1.

For the Jews, this day was like a catch 22.  The tradition of an earthly temple and priest offering sacrifices for sin was thrown out the window and flushed down the toilet.  Thus, Jesus threatened to remove those in power from their lofty positions.  On the other hand, the social outcasts, those forced to move outside of the city gates because of being labeled as unclean were provided an open door, direct access to the king of kings and Lord of lords.

For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit., Ephesians 2:18.

Easter Sunday is the culmination of years of prophecy fulfilled.  Thus, the promises of the Bible are no longer just a shadow, they are reality.  According to the apostle Paul, one of these good things is a clear connection to God the Father through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Although, temptation and the power of sin still exist, grace, forgiveness and mercy is available day after day.  Therefore, as you experience another Easter, may the good things of Christ keep bringing you back week after week.

by Jay Mankus

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Receive Your Call

Posted on March 17, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Before you can receive a call, you have to hear or sense it.  Depending upon where you are in life, distractions can delay, postpone or cause individuals to miss their call.  If you allow compromise, impatience and selfish ambition to influence your decisions, you could bypass the life God created for you to live.

So she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said, Genesis 16:2.

When individuals feel like they missed God’s calling, panic is a common response.  Thinking God was not going to honor the promise of a child, Sarah became desperate.  This fleeting act isn’t uncommon as people today often lower their standards before waiting to receive what they desire.  Subsequently, careless acts often leads to disappointment, resulting a second rate life, without any clear direction or idea if people are on the right track.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” – Isaiah 6:8.

Despite your current situation, its never too late to receive God’s call.   Therefore, remember the words of Isaiah, keeping an ear open for God’s voice.  Wait in eager expectation, ready at a moment’s notice.  Thus, when a faint whisper is spoken, you will be ready to receive God’s call.  Don’t be afraid!  Rather, trust in the Lord and God will make your paths straight.

by Jay Mankus

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To Insure Proper Service

Posted on March 6, 2016 by expressyourself4him

The concept of a tip was first mentioned in George Farquhar’s play The Beaux Stratagem of 1706.  According to the Oxford Dictionary, this 17th century term means to give or pass.  Thus, this act of gratitude has since been applied by individuals to local businesses who exhibit quality service.  Today, the acronym known as TIPS exists to insure proper service.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace, 1 Peter 4:10.

One of my first jobs was at the Concord Mall, serving as a bus boy in the old cafeteria.  Whether it was my service or not, I rarely received a decent tip, often collecting spare change left on tables.  Those who work in restaurant and service oriented positions tend to live and die by the gratuities one receives.  This element leads to jubilation or disappointment, motivating individuals to do whatever possible to insure proper service.

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another, Galatians 5:13.

If only Christians could apply this concept to daily life, the world would be a better place.  According to the apostle Paul, Jesus freed mankind from the burden of sin so that people can serve one another through love.  To insure proper service in local communities requires hearts inspired by the Holy Spirit.  Relying on your own strength, the love human beings possess is limited.  Therefore, if you want to maximum your full potential, pray that God will revive and transform you to become the loving hands of Jesus here on earth.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

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