Category Archives: Truth

Now the Hard Work Begins

Posted on August 19, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As a young student, nothing came easy for me. Assignments that took my classmates a few minutes to complete, took me 15 minutes or more. Perhaps, this deficiency forced me to learn to grind things out at an early age. While I never became a great student, discipline and hard work propelled me to become who I am today. As newlyweds return from their honeymoon, now the hard work to become one flesh begins.

Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. 24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, Ephesians 5:22-26.

Since many first century Christians were illiterate, pastors of churches would read the apostle Paul’s letters out loud to their congregation. Based upon the words of today’s featured passage, God has high expectations for married couples. Learning to love your spouse as Christ loved the church doesn’t happen overnight. Rather, this spiritual transformation takes a lifetime of studying the Bible, prayer, and practice.

That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30 Because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, Ephesians 5:27-31.

The hardest part of any marriage is ridding your life of all of the bad habits that you’ve picked up from your parents, friends, and acquaintances. These flaws will cause you to do something or say something at the wrong time, hurting your spouse. This is what I mean by the title, “now the hard work begins.” Therefore, if you’re newly engaged or married, commit yourself to the words of Colossians 3:5-17 so that the Holy Spirit will slowly transform your life and marriage.

by Jay Mankus

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The Crossover Connection Week 29: A Christian Version of America’s Top 40

Posted on August 19, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Prior to Casey Kasem’s weekly radio program America’s Top 40, Dick Clark was host of the original show Dick Clark Countdown America. Before the Internet and You Tube, teenagers would listen to their radio and wait in anticipation to see who moved into the number one spot this week. When I listen to Reliant K, their music reminds me of popular pop rock songs of the 1980’s and 1990’s.

Jesus said to her, Mary! Turning around she said to Him in Hebrew, Rabboni!—which means Teacher or Master. 17 Jesus said to her, Do not cling to Me [do not hold Me], for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to My brethren and tell them, I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God, John 20:16-17.

Reliant K is a crossover group, playing both fun secular songs as well as spiritual songs with touching lyrics. If you were wondering, the band is named after guitarist Hoopes’ automobile, a Plymouth Reliant K. Depending upon the album, Reliant K is a mix of alternative, soft rock with a bit of punk to wake you up. I hope you enjoy listening to Reliant K this week.

by Jay Mankus

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Til Death Do Us Part

Posted on August 18, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Modern marriage statistics relay a troubling trend in the United States. Depending upon what survey you reference, the current divorce rate is nearly 47%. The average length of marriage in the United States in roughly 8 years. Women file for divorce more than men, wanting out of their marriage covenant 66% of the time. Unfortunately, til death do us part is rarely being fulfilled.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate). 7 They said to Him, Why then did Moses command [us] to give a certificate of divorce and thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife? – Matthew 19:6-7

The context of today’s featured passage is a conversation between Pharisees and Jesus. A couple religious zealots tried to trick Jesus into de-emphasizing the marriage covenant. The initial question above serves as a fishing expedition. Subsequently, Jesus exposes their intentions with his response in the passage below. Jesus lays out the only escape clause with a strict consequence to consider.

He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been [b]so [ordained]. 9 I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, [c]and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery, Matthew 19:8-9.

To summarize Jesus’s comments, God’s ideal scenario is for couples to fight through the trials they will face throughout life. Some of these will be self-afflicted, usually from poor choices made by one or both spouses. Other storms that you’ll face will be out of your control. May the Lord give each of you the will to love one another so that you’ll endure til death do us part.

by Jay Mankus

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When Two Become One Flesh

Posted on August 17, 2023 by expressyourself4him

When I try to imagine two people becoming one flesh, the best analogy I can come up with is a three-legged race. The last time I participated in one of these was at a church picnic. Two individuals have their middle legs tied together, forced to work as a team. The most successful couples get into a rhythm, communicating as one flesh to outpace all of their opponents.

Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man. 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence, Genesis 2:23-25.

Moses explains the origin of marriage in the passage above. Since God created Eve out of pieces from man’s body, Adam is blown away by what has just taken place. While modern day couples may hold hands in public, when newlyweds have intercourse, they become one flesh. Unfortunately, many couples focus on the sexual aspect of marriage rather than communication.

Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power. 13 Food [is intended] for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will finally end [the functions of] both and bring them to nothing. The body is not intended for sexual immorality, but [is intended] for the Lord, and the Lord [is intended] for the body [[a]to save, sanctify, and raise it again]. 14 And God both raised the Lord to life and will also raise us up by His power. 15 Do you not see and know that your bodies are members (bodily parts) of Christ (the Messiah)? Am I therefore to take the parts of Christ and make [them] parts of a prostitute? Never! Never! 16 Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh. 17 But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him, 1 Corinthians 6:12-17.

The apostle Paul interjects how free will influences relationships in the above passage. The key phrase is Paul’s first century later comes in the form, “not every choice is beneficial.” When two people enter into the covenant of marriage, it takes time to transition from living for yourself to pleasing your soulmate. Sacrifices will have to be made by each person. If success is the process of arriving, when two individuals become one flesh, this journey takes a lifetime to grow closer as one.

by Jay Mankus

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Developing the Will to Love Your Soulmate

Posted on August 16, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Developing the will to love is similar to Olympic and professional athletes who develop the will to win. The context of today’s featured passage is referencing the Corinthian Games, also known as the Isthmian Games. This first century Track and Field event would take place in the years opposite of the Olympic Games held in nearby Athens, Greece.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but [only] one receives the prize? So run [your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] and make it yours. 25 Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither, 1 Corinthians 9:24-25.

Developing your own athletic and spiritual abilities have one thing in common: practice. As a former cross-country runner in high school, I forced myself to run five days a week every summer. Since my parents always spent a few weeks every August in the state of Maine, this included running in the mountains and being chased by stray dogs. Developing the will to love your soulmate can be just as painful.

Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary. 27 But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit], 1 Corinthians 9:26-27.

Like Slyvester Stallone in Rocky IV, willing to love involves pushing your body to its limits. Meanwhile, the father of lies, John 8:44, will plant subtle selfish thoughts into your mind. Unless you learn to take your thoughts captive, 2 Corinthians 10:5-6, your will to love your soulmate will be stunted. Therefore, pump your mind with spiritual truths from Colossians 3:12-17 so that the will to love prevails with Jesus’ help, Philippians 4:13.

by Jay Mankus

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I Guess They Meant What They Said

Posted on August 15, 2023 by expressyourself4him

One of the best parts of any wedding is the reception. This gives those in attendance time to share their initial impressions of the ceremony while it’s fresh in their minds. Following my own wedding back in 1995, my wife’s mom, Barb, had a special moment with one of her friends. Barb recounted this story to me following our honeymoon. Barb said, “most of the weddings I attend, I’m not sure whether it’s going to last. However, based upon their vows and what they said, I have a good feeling this marriage is going to last a lifetime.” Nearly 28 years and counting.

Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

Before any young couple decides to tie the knot, there are numerous ways to prepare. Some choose marriage counseling, others attend pre-marriage Christian conferences, and others simply read as many books on the topic of marriage as possible. My wife Leanne and I did all three of these options. Yet, this doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage. Having spiritual mentors can help you through the highs and lows in life, but ultimately marriages that pray together tend to stay together. The last missing link is developing a will to love your spouse like Christ loves the church.

Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken, Ecclesiastes 4:11-12.

As for my own marriage, my long hair is gone, I’ve put on forty pounds, and following my emergency eye surgery, it’s hard for me to be in a picture without sunglasses on. Nonetheless, my will to love my wife Leanne has enabled me to keep my wedding vows. Yet, like any human being, I have bad days that may turn into weeks. Thank God that faith isn’t a feeling; it’s a mindset and way of life. Just like the words of Jeremiah in Lamentations 3:19-24, God’s forgiveness is new every day. This biblical promise and many like it have helped Leanne and I mean what we said long ago.

by Jay Mankus

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When Your Prayers Come True

Posted on August 14, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As someone who struggles with prayer, I tend to repeat myself rather than spiritually connect with the Lord when I pray. The best way to compare my prayer life is to a scratch golfer who doesn’t have their A Game, but grinds out 18 holes to find a way to shoot par. What I decided to do beginning in college is to keep a prayer journal, writing out my requests to the Lord. Since I tend to forget what I prayed for last week, keeping a detailed record allows me to see if any of my prayers become reality.

Also when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by people. Truly I tell you, they have their reward [d]in full already. 6 But when you pray, go into your [most] private room, and, closing the door, pray to your Father, Who is in secret; and your Father, Who sees in secret, will reward you in the open. 7 And when you pray, do not heap up phrases (multiply words, repeating the same ones over and over) as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard for their much speaking. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him, Matthew 6:5-8.

As a former coach and teacher, I learned early on that you can’t force someone to do exactly what you want. You can give directions, hints, and suggestions, but you have to let free will take its course. While I was a disciplinarian when my children were young, I’ve transitioned into a life coach by sharing my perspective when I was my kids age. However, as I listened to my son Daniel’s wedding last weekend, the words that I lifted up as prayers in my journal have come true.

Keep on asking and it will be given you; [f] keep on seeking and you will find; [g]keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened, Matthew 7:7-8.

Perhaps, as Daniel struggled to find a job after graduating in May, I was forced to intensify my prayers with specific requests. When days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I kept on knocking as Jesus urges in the passage above. Although doubts did enter my mind, I never gave up hope. Subsequently, Daniel received a job from Liberty University and is committed to following God’s will for his life. Prayers can come true as well as long as you can knocking on God’s door in prayer.

by Jay Mankus

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Wedding Vibes

Posted on August 13, 2023 by expressyourself4him

A vibe is a person’s emotional state or the atmosphere of a place as communicated to and felt by others. When you attend a wedding as a friend of a friend, you may pay attention to certain details that others often overlook. Are you over or under dressed? How serious is this couple taking their wedding vows? Is the pastor or priest going through the motions or personalizing their message? As an eyewitness to my son Daniel’s wedding last weekend, my vibe was positive, impressed by the spiritual nature of the ceremony as well as the emotional speeches during the reception.

And this I pray: that your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in knowledge and all keen insight [that your love may [d]display itself in greater depth of acquaintance and more comprehensive discernment], Philippians 1:9.

Vibes can be confused with discernment, gut-feelings or inclinations as you observe any formal gathering. One of the first weddings I attended with my wife Leanne, I got this overwhelming sensation that this couple’s marriage isn’t going to last. I wish my initial vibe was wrong, but there was a divorce before spending two full years together. When you encounter negative vibes, watch out that you don’t end up speaking this into existence a self-fulfilled prophecy by dwelling on negative thoughts over and over again.

So that you may surely learn to sense what is vital, and approve and prize what is excellent and of real value [recognizing the highest and the best, and distinguishing the moral differences], and that you may be untainted and pure and unerring and blameless [so that with hearts sincere and certain and unsullied, you may approach] the day of Christ [not stumbling nor causing others to stumble], Philippians 1:10.

During a first century letter to the Church at Philippi, the apostle Paul urges this congregation to focus on the positive things in life. The passage above highlights this point which Paul follows up on in Philippians 4:8-9 as a reminder to dwell on the excellent and praiseworthy things in life. Meanwhile, for anyone who takes vibes too seriously, 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, make sure that you take your thoughts captive, making them obedient to Christ. Any concerns or worries that you may have from negative wedding vibes can be lifted up in prayer so that help arrives in the form of the Holy Spirit, 2 Peter 1:3-4.

by Jay Mankus

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Don’t Let Envy and Jealousy Ruin Your Heart

Posted on August 12, 2023 by expressyourself4him

When one of the wisest individuals in the Bible urges readers to guard their hearts, Proverbs 4:23, this warning should be heeded. If King Solomon compares human hearts to the well spring of life, erosion and ground water runoff can contaminate this spiritual well. Based upon Moses’ suggestion in the passage below, envy and jealousy filled the hearts of Joseph’s brothers with hatred.

Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age, and he made him a [distinctive] long tunic with sleeves. 4 But when his brothers saw that their father loved [Joseph] more than all of his brothers, they hated him and could not say, Peace [in friendly greeting] to him or speak peaceably to him, Genesis 37:3-4.

From a sociology perspective, the study of the development, structure, and functioning of human society, there will be certain personality types that will get under your skin. These individuals tend to be more boastful, confident or outspoken. Despite how blessed, gifted and talented people in your life may be, remember that God has a specific plan for everyone, 1 Corinthians 12:1-7.

You have heard that it was said to the men of old, You shall not kill, and whoever kills shall be [ac]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court. 22 But I say to you that everyone who continues to be [ad]angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of heart) against him shall be [ae]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court; and whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his brother shall be [af]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, You [ag]cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall be [ah]liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of fire, Matthew 5:21-22.

Jesus uses the Sermon on the Mount to warn those in attendance of the dangers of envy and jealousy. While the apostle Paul writes, “in your anger do not sin,” Ephesians 4:26, Jesus goes deeper, pointing to your heart. Luke 6:45 reveals that your mouth speaks out of the overflow of your heart. Therefore, before hatred is conceived in your heart, stop the root of bitterness in its tracks, Hebrews 12:15. Clothe yourself with Christ, Colossians 3:12-14, so that love prevails.

by Jay Mankus

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The Crossover Connection Week 28: The Evolution from Soft to Hard Rock

Posted on August 12, 2023 by expressyourself4him

When it comes to music, I have a history of being late to the party. Yet, in 1989, I came across today’s featured band in one of those impulse purchases at the counter of my favorite Christian bookstore before it closed. Liaison debuted as a soft rock group, somewhere between Air Supply and Boston. Three years later, Liaison transformed into a Christian version of Cinderella.

But the [Holy] Spirit distinctly and expressly declares that in latter times some will turn away from the faith, giving attention to deluding and seducing spirits and doctrines that demons teach, 2 Through the hypocrisy and pretensions of liars whose consciences are seared (cauterized), 3 Who forbid people to marry and [teach them] to abstain from [certain kinds of] foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and have [an increasingly clear] knowledge of the truth, 1 Timothy 4:1-3.

Songs like Go and Sin No More and Kick It Down were on the Sampler CD that I purchased. These hit songs from Liaison’s debut album led to 4 total albums. Liaison’s second album Urgency served as a transition from soft rock to mainly rock songs. When Liaison released Hard Hitter in 1992, I believe this if their most appealing album. I hope that you have time to enjoy Liaison this week.

by Jay Mankus

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