Tag Archives: dealing with loss

A Living Hell

Posted on February 18, 2015 by expressyourself4him

While the Old Testament law promotes an eye for an eye and life for a life.  God does support a scenario of life in prison without parole.  Following the murder of his brother, the Lord refused to allow anyone to kill Cain, essentially allowing him to suffer a lifetime of regret, a living hell on earth.

But the LORD said to him, “Not so, anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. – Genesis 4:15

You don’t have to commit murder to experience a living hell.  Those who have suffered a car accident may have to live with the regret of having a friend die while they were driving.  Soldiers often endure post traumatic stress syndrome following a horrific life event in the line of battle.  Meanwhile, parents who lose a child to drowning, SIDS or fatal illness may never recover from this painful tragedy.

By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead. – Hebrews 11:4

The voice of Abel cries out today to anyone who has dealt with a living hell on earth.  Although the Bible is unclear about what Abel said, whispers of grace, hope and mercy extend to souls torn in two.  Despite these wounds, life moves on with or without you.  Therefore, as you search for a source of healing, may the promise of Psalm 34:18 mend the broken hearted and lift up those crushed by a living hell.

by Jay Mankus

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Those Were the Days

Posted on October 6, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Over the weekend, I got off the Exit called Reflection.  Trying to avoid an eat, sleep, work and repeat the same cycle over again mentality, I pulled off to take a breather, camping in the mountains with my daughter.  Subsequently, I was able to slow down enough to take my spiritual pulse.  Laying back in the wilderness, thoughts began to flood my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ6Ax3oSThQ

Healed from most of the scars from losing my teaching position to a new management group, God allowed me to see positive images from my past.  Similar to the theme song from All in the Family, the Lord brought to recall memories that made me think, those were the days.  Skipping my planning period to partake in a gym class with juniors and seniors, participating in school fundraisers like Donkey Basketball, Dodgeball, Golf Megaathon & Volleyball and developing an Ultimate Frisbee class will always hold a special place in my heart.

Although, you and I may not be exactly where we want to be currently, there’s still time to change course.  Perhaps you need to pull over, take a break or spend time reflecting.  You can start by reading Philippians 4:8; then apply this principle like a scene from Polyanna, playing the good game.  If this exercise can become a habit or daily routine, you may reach a point in time when you can honesty say, “those were the days!”

by Jay Mankus

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The One That Got Away

Posted on February 5, 2014 by expressyourself4him

My father was an avid fisherman, taking the family to Maine each summer to go bass fishing and Nags Head, North Carolina during Spring Break to catch blues coming up the Atlantic coastline.  Sure, golf was always on the agenda, but his quest was trying to catch the big one.  Now retired and residing on a golf course with several lakes, my own children enjoy nightly excursions to catch bass, perch and sunfish.  While success usually followed his line, I often wonder about the big one that got away.

Three years ago, there was a 10 pound bass spotted periodically along a canal.  Many had seen it, but no one was successful in reeling this behometh on to dry land.   Over a 3 day weekend, my oldest son James and I appeared to have something large bite our lines, only to have the line snap shortly thereafter.  As I was reeling in a small sunny, I felt a tug, like a snapping turtle had grabbed ahold of my line.  For roughly 10 minutes I battled this unseen creature, hoping it was the beast.  However, just as I was sensing victory, the line went dead.  One minute later, the only thing remaining was an empty hook.  Since there were no visible signs of a turtle, whatever attacked my rod must have ripped the sunny off the hook, swallowing it’s victim whole.  I’ve caught my fair share of fish, but I regret the 10 pounder that got away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYWRsx6OUn8

In athletics, Olympians’ shake their head over the gold that slipped from their reach.  Meanwhile, the scholar will analyze why an elite college or graduate school passed over their application.  The student ponders what went wrong to lose their high school sweetheart and the unemployed struggle to find the explanation behind why they did not receive a job offer.  Disappointment is a subtle reminder of an imperfect world, filled with empty promises and broken dreams.  Despite how painfully it is to start over in life, you need to let go of the one that got away, learning from this loss so that it doesn’t happen again.  May the truth of James 1:2-4 strengthen you to press on, to stay beat and hopeful of a date with destiny to celebrate the day the big One didn’t get away!

by Jay Mankus

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I Can’t Help You With That

Posted on October 18, 2013 by expressyourself4him
 The realist inside my heart has often led me to deviate from the script, persuaded by bored faces, uninterested glances and sleepy heads.  Perhaps, God has taught me that situations vary in life, different for each individual.  Thus, making a blanket remark or statement to anyone can be construed as inconsiderate, especially to a troubled soul.  Therefore, I have learned to be honest, saying to former students and peers, “I can’t help you with that” when I don’t know.

 

Unfortunately, Christians can come off cold as ice, unattached by responses like, “it must have been God’s will.”  When someone dies, gets diagnosed with a terminal illness or is left paralyzed by an accident, people need your love, prayers and support not a text book reply.  Maybe this is what the apostle Paul was eluding to in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.  You can have the best personality, multiple talents and good intentions, yet without love you are nothing.

 

Pride is likely involved, puffing someone up in their minds until the frailty of life comes knocking at their door.  When roles are reversed, I wonder how this person will feel if a fellow believer serves up a patented quote from the Bible.  As Job endured heartbreak, trial and betrayal from his friends, Job 8:1-4, I can’t imagine the loneliness and pain he experienced.  If only someone stood up, broke from tradition and sincerely confessed, “I can’t help you with that, but God can!” – Luke 1:37

by Jay Mankus

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