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Tag Archives: soul mate

Growing Old and Apart

As one of the newest  members of the AARP club, this is a sign of getting old.  Yet, as I reflect upon my current state of relationships, time has caused me to forget and ignore special friendships from my past.  Part of this is due to my desire to be a good father, spending as much time with my children as possible.  Unfortunately, without a healthy balance at the moment, I am growing old and apart.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him,” Genesis 2:18.

After creating the heavens and the earth, God recognized that a pet could not replace a human soul mate.  Subsequently, the Lord created the first woman out of Adam’s rib.  This miracle set the stage for the institution of marriage, Genesis 1:23-24.  When two people become one, a special bond is formed.  Yet, this doesn’t mean you should forget the people that you have crossed paths with over the course of your life.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit, Psalm 51:12.

Following king David’s affair with Bathsheba, a spirit of conviction consumed his soul.  After hearing the prophet Nathan’s analogy of a little ewe lamb, David became painfully aware of his transgression.  Psalm 51 serves as a prayer of confession, asking the Lord to pardon him from sin.  In my case, before my home becomes an empty nest in 3 years, I need to reconnect with old friends.  While I may not be welcomed back with opened arms, I need to follow the prayer of David above so that I grow old and reunite with old friends.

by Jay Mankus

The Circle of Life

Twenty two years ago, my wife Leanne received confirmation that she was pregnant with our first child.  While I was able to share this good news in person with my mom, my father was away on a business trip.  This good news was replaced by sorrow as my grandmother passed away on this same day.  Following the funeral of my dad’s mother, new parenting classes attempted to prepare us for raising a child.  Twenty one years ago over Memorial Day Weekend, Leanne endured 29 hours of labor to give birth to James.

I assure you and most solemnly say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone [just one grain, never more]. But if it dies, it produces much grain and yields a harvest, John 12:24.

Fast forwarding 19 years, another tragedy illustrates the circle of life.  Leanne’s father was in a bad car accident, battling to stay a live for a couple of weeks.  Away at college, James wasn’t able to be there as his grandfather passed away.  However, James did call the hospital, breaking the news over the phone of a new girl friend.  Jim’s funeral introduced Emma to our family, fitting in naturally.  One year later, James shared he proposed to Emma, setting the date of his own wedding this Memorial Day Weekend.  As death takes one soul away, the birth of a new relationship sets the stage for the circle of life to be completed.

The one who loves his life [eventually] loses it [through death], but the one who hates his life in this world [and is concerned with pleasing God] will keep it for life eternal, John 12:25.

As I experience hosting my first rehearsal dinner tonight, I am passing the torch to my oldest son.  After tonight, James is on his own, starting a new journey with his soul mate Emma.  I’m not sure exactly what to say, but all I know is to pass on words of wisdom from the Bible.  As I think of the perfect thing to say, I am reminded of Jesus’ comments in the passage above.  In the context of marriage, two will become one.  Just as individuals must die to self so that Christ might live, couples must yield to God to take the wheel, direction in life.  As my wife and I complete one task, raising James, we look forward to becoming supportive parents in Emma and James’ future endeavors.

by Jay Mankus

Its Always Better When We Work Together

At the moment you enter this world from your mother’s womb, human nature causes a new born to cry out.  Whether this is out of hunger for food, frustration or a sign of a dirty diaper, selfish natures don’t hide very long.  Perhaps this may explain why its hard for married couples to put aside childish ways as they attempt to become one flesh.  Those marriages that fail can blame individuals who continue to work alone, unable to yield to a team concept.  In an ideal setting, its always better when you work together with your soul mate.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh, Genesis 2:24.

There is a scene in the 2017 film the Shack which illustrates this point.  Mackenzie Allen Phillips played by Sam Worthington has a near death experience where he spends a weekend with God and Jesus.  Following the tragedy of his daughter’s death, Mack spirals into a deep depression as well as developing bitterness within his heart toward God.  During a series a conversations, Mack begins to come to grips with his flawed mindset.  Like a disciple trained by Jesus, Mack is a slow learner, struggling to place his faith in God.  After walking on water with Jesus’ help, Mack tries this on his own, sinking to the bottom.  Laughing initially at Mack’s surprise, Jesus turns to him replying, “Its always better when we do it together.”

Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; 10 for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

One of the wisest men to walk the face of the earth stresses the importance of a soulmate.  Sure, not everyone is meant to become married, electing to remain single to follow their dreams.  Yet, when couples work together as a team, joy, satisfaction and peace is found.  After watching the Shack I felt compelled to consider how I can become a better teammate with my wife.  When my wife Leanne and I first got married, each of us thought we would spend years serving in youth ministry together.  Nearly 25 years later, its time to figure out how my wife can become a part of my blog Express Yourself 4Him.  Although I’m not sure the role Leanne will eventually play, marriage is always better when you work together.

by Jay Mankus

Missed Opportunities

There are moments in life when you are at the right time and place.  However, if you are on the verge of doing something special, obstacles such as awareness, discernment and time can be hindrances.  Depending upon the state of your emotions, you might just miss a golden opportunity to accomplish God’s will.

I can recall several encounters with people over the course of my life.  Some of these friendships never developed because I did not make a good first impression.  On other occasions I sensed the leading of the Holy Spirit, yet an individual or stranger was distracted by trials in life.  If I was more prepared or they were spiritually sober, perhaps my life would be much more engaging, full of conversational experiences.

Despite my past failures, I did make the most of one opportunity.  While attending a youth ministry conference in Chicago, I happened to meet my future wife.  The atmosphere at this facility made it conducive to slowing down to meet, interact and develop permanent meaningful lasting relationships.  Little did I know that one of the girls in my small group would become my soul mate.  Similarly, if you have failed to cease the moment like me, apply the words of Colossians 4:2-6 so that you won’t miss the opportunities that the Lord provides.

by Jay Mankus

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