Tag Archives: discipline

When God Pushes You Toward Maturity

Posted on December 2, 2023 by expressyourself4him

In my initial years of transitioning from following religion toward seeking a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I read way too much into my daily life. Rather than endure spiritual growing pains, 1 Peter 1:6-7, I questioned “why is God doing this to me?” After listening to a sermon series on Thanksgiving, I realized that there are moments in life where God simply pushes you toward maturity.

Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. 3 Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. 4 But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing, James 1:2-4.

The earthly brother of Jesus learned this following the crucifixion and resurrection of his big bro. During a recent Harvard University study, researchers discovered that “active learning helps students learn better by engaging them physically. Perhaps, this same lesson applies to developing spiritually. The more God places you in trying circumstances, this invisible nudge pushes you closer to maturity.

Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither. 26 Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary. 27 But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit], 1 Corinthians 9:25-27.

When addressing the avid sports fans of Corinth, the apostle Paul uses a training analogy. If you want to compete and beat the best, discipline is essential to reach new heights. Burgess Meredith in the initial Rocky films makes life a living hell for Syvester Stalone. Without tough love, Rocky would have never been prepared to fight Apollo Creed. Likewise, if God never puts you in challenging situations, you’ll never know what you capable of spiritually. Therefore, the next time God pushes you toward maturity, consider this a pure joy, a step toward becoming complete.

by Jay Mankus

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A Father’s Duty to Bless Their Children

Posted on November 12, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Before I got married, a Christian friend recommended that I read a book entitled the Blessing. Co-written by John Trent and Gary Smalley, this book touches on the need of a son to ask for his father’s blessing prior to starting a new life on your own. While it was awkward, my father blessed my decision to propose to Leanne in 1994. Yet, the more I study the Bible, I’ve discovered that its a father’s duty to bless their children as well.

When Israel [almost blind] saw Joseph’s sons, he said, Who are these? 9 And Joseph said to his father, They are my sons, whom God has given me in this place. And he said, Bring them to me, I pray you, that I may bless them. 10 Now Israel’s eyes were dim from age, so that he could not see. And Joseph brought them near to him, and he kissed and embraced them. 11 Israel said to Joseph, I had not thought that I would see your face, but see, God has shown me your offspring also. 12 Then Joseph took [the boys] from [his father’s embrace] and he bowed [before him] with his face to the earth, Genesis 48:8-12.

The book of Genesis is filled with examples of fathers blessing their children and grandchildren prior to their death. While some fathers may not feel comfortable placing their hand on a child or adult’s thigh, this is Israel’s blueprint. Although the elderly may not be able to see who they are blessing, Joseph places Jacob’s hand upon his children. From a traditional sense, the firstborn son receives the father’s blessing. Yet, Jacob broke this trend as a son and a father.

But his bow remained strong and steady and rested in the Strength that does not fail him, for the arms of his hands were made strong and active by the hands of the Mighty God of Jacob, by the name of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel, 25 By the God of your father, Who will help you, and by the Almighty, Who will bless you with blessings of the heavens above, blessings lying in the deep beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb. 26 The blessings of your father [on you] are greater than the blessings of my forefathers [Abraham and Isaac on me] and are as lasting as the bounties of the eternal hills; they shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him who was the consecrated one and the one separated from his brethren and [the one who] is prince among them, Genesis 49:24-26.

Beside a biblical blessing found in Genesis, Moses suggests that fathers should also verbally affirm, bless, encourage, and praise their children. These kind words shouldn’t come in the form of exaggerations or lies, but an honest assessment of what your child’s full potential may look like. This doesn’t mean discipline shouldn’t be ruled out when necessary, Hebrews 12:5-7. Whatever you end up doing as a parent, remember to bless, inspire, and motivate your children in the Lord.

by Jay Mankus

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Exposing the Iniquities of Our Past

Posted on October 5, 2023 by expressyourself4him

If you read the Bible long enough, you’ll see that you can’t hide from your past. Whether it’s the sins of the father developing in your own children or receiving what you have previously sowed, time has a way of exposing the iniquities of your past. This is the conclusion that Judah came to as the trick that he played on his brother Joseph was coming around to burn him once again.

Joseph said to them, What is this thing that you have done? Do you not realize that such a man as I can certainly detect and know by divination [everything you do without other knowledge of it]? 16 And Judah said, What shall we say to my lord? What shall we reply? Or how shall we clear ourselves, since God has found out and exposed the iniquity of your servants? Behold, we are my lord’s slaves, the rest of us as well as he with whom the cup is found, Genesis 44:15-16.

Whether you were called to the principal’s office as a child, questioned by your parents for suspicious behavior or pulled over by a police officer for going over the posted speed limit, these previous encounters serve as a form of discipline. Following an entire chapter known as the Hall of Faith, Hebrews 11, the author follows this up by writing about the importance of discipline. According to Hebrews 12:11, discipline is designed to expose any sort of iniquity.

 Pray, therefore, like this: Our Father Who is in heaven, hallowed (kept holy) be Your name. 10 Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven ([e]left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have [f]given up resentment against) our debtors. 13 And lead (bring) us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. 14 For if you forgive people their trespasses [their [g]reckless and willful sins, [h]leaving them, letting them go, and [i]giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their [j]reckless and willful sins, [k]leaving them, letting them go, and [l]giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses, Matthew 6:9-15.

During one famous first century speech, Jesus adds another dimension to iniquity and transgressions. At the end of the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus points out a condition to forgiveness. If you are willing to forgive and overlook any iniquities and transgressions made against you, God will show mercy by forgiving all of your sins. However, if you aren’t willing to forget the iniquities of others, God won’t forgive you. Therefore, as the Holy Spirit exposes the iniquities of your past, may God give you a heart of compassion and mercy.

by Jay Mankus

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An Adult Who Actually Takes Responsibility for Their Actions?

Posted on June 3, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As I have traveled up and down the east coast of the United States, I see a common trend within adult leaders. Whether this is inside a church, local government or workplace, “do as I say, not as I do,” is demonstrated by daily actions. Subsequently, it’s rare when an adult actually takes responsibility for their own actions. While studying the life of Isaac, I was surprised by Rebekah’s actions in the passage below.

But Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Listen, Esau my brother is a hairy man and I am a smooth man. 12 Suppose my father feels me; I will seem to him to be a cheat and an imposter, and I will bring [his] curse on me and not [his] blessing. 13 But his mother said to him, On me be your curse, my son; only obey my word and go, fetch them to me, Genesis 27:11-13.

In this age of wokeness, discipline is now considered racist according to CRT. Subsequently, if rules are no longer able to be enforced, chaos ensues as crime rises. If America could return to their Judeo-Christian heritage, personal responsibility would one day become the norm again. As for now, there are hints of adults who actually take responsibility for their actions in the Bible like Rebekah.

Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked [g]by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and [h]that only is what he will reap. 8 For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life, Galatians 6:7-8.

While Rebekah tells her son Jacob, let any curse fall upon me, there’s another principle in play. The apostle Paul writes about the Sowing Principle in the passage above. You reap what you sow which also may explain the passing on of the sins of the father upon their children. Although Rebekah’s plan does accomplish her goal, Jacob’s life is filled with other people like Laban who deceives him as he deceived his father. While taking responsibility for any wrong action is important, don’t forget the consequences that will follow.

by Jay Mankus

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Like Father Like Son

Posted on May 26, 2023 by expressyourself4him

Whenever a family is gathered together, there is always one acquaintance who will suggest that you look just like your parents or siblings. Meanwhile, mannerisms develop at an early age which often emulate or mimic one of your parents. Subsequently, as you grow older, you may see a quality or trait that you despise vowing to never pass this down to your own children. Unfortunately, the sins of the father are passed down to children, Exodus 34:7, proving the old adage like father like son.

Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram [b]went down into Egypt to live temporarily, for the famine in the land was oppressive (intense and grievous). 11 And when he was about to enter into Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, I know that you are beautiful to behold. 12 So when the Egyptians see you, they will say, This is his wife; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Say, I beg of you, that you are [c]my sister, so that it may go well with me for your sake and my life will be spared because of you. 14 And when Abram came into Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. 15 The princes of Pharaoh also saw her and commended her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into Pharaoh’s house [harem], Genesis 12:10-15.

As for my life, my father played IAA football in college, playing both ways as a defensive end and tight end. Unfortunately, my five foot 100-pound frame wasn’t a good fit for football. However, I excelled in baseball, running, golf and sand volleyball. Meanwhile, I turned down an offer to play professional ultimate frisbee after graduating college which would have conflicted with my new job. In the end, my father passed down to me the discipline and work ethic to succeed in life.

So Isaac stayed in Gerar. 7 And the men of the place asked him about his wife, and he said, She is my sister; for he was afraid to say, She is my wife—[thinking], Lest the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah, because she is attractive and is beautiful to look upon, Genesis 26:6-7.

In the case of Isaac, Abraham passed on the generational sin of lying to his son and grandchildren. However, based upon the crops and herd that Isaac developed during his time living with the Philistines, Abraham passed on the trait of hard work as well. Perhaps, this is a good life lesson for soon to be fathers, working out their flaws and imperfections before becoming a dad, Philippians 2:12. Any child gets a mixed bag, the good with the bad. Therefore, confess your sins and pray for a spiritual transformation so that generational sins will cease now.

by Jay Mankus

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Law and Order or Chaos?

Posted on March 26, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As a student at the University of Delaware, I became intrigued with Sociology and Psychology. From time to time, individuals would asked to partake in experiments based upon a hypothesis. My most memorable occurred over a week as I was asked to wear certain clothes to class. The first day was pajamas, the second a full suit and the third normal attire. When I dressed down, no one noticed or said anything to me. However, when I dressed up, I received several glances and was treated with more respect by my peers and professors.

The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination and intention of all human thinking was only evil continually, Genesis 6:5.

Over the past five years. politician’s have participated in their own modern-day experiment. If you follow statistics like successful companies cling to metrics, there’s a clear distinction between states that embrace and support law and other and those who want to reinvent America’s justice system. As district attorneys in liberal states fail to prosecute anyone who breaks the law, crime is incentivized. For example, if you reside in California and take less than $900 from a store without paying for it, you go undisciplined.

You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood. 5 And have you [completely] forgotten the divine word of appeal and encouragement in which you are reasoned with and addressed as sons? My son, do not think lightly or scorn to submit to the correction and discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage and give up and faint when you are reproved or corrected by Him; 6 For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes, Hebrews 12:4-6.

In the chapter of the Bible known as the Hall of Faith, Hebrews 11, the author writes about the importance of discipline. Like an athlete who strives to improve daily, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, discipline serves as a means to highlight areas in life where you need to improve. During a sermon series at Willow Creek Community Creek, Lee Strobel examined the life of Dennis Rodman who was a member of the Chicago Bulls at this time. Strobel discovered that Rodman was never disciplined as a child. This shaped the person who he became. While progressives may not want to admit their error in judgment, most Americans prefer law and order over chaos.

by Jay Mankus

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Not the Answer You Wanted to Hear

Posted on March 14, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As someone who grew up in a military family, discipline was always part of my childhood. Whenever I was unruly to my mother, I became fearful as soon as I heard, “wait until your father gets home.” Despite attending a public high school and state-run university, discipline played an important role. My senior year of high school I got an afterschool detention for taking during the morning announcements. As King Solomon wrote the Book of Proverbs, rules are designed for your own spiritual protection.

But [a]the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness on the road to Shur. 8 And He said, Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where did you come from, and where are you intending to go? And she said, I am running away from my mistress Sarai, Genesis 16:7-8.

Running away from home is one of those things that I thought about, but never did. Sometimes adults run away, sometimes in the form of divorce to try to start over from scratch. Following Hagar’s decision to run away from her jealous owner Sarai, Hagar believed that running away for good was the best decision she could make. However, the wilderness is not a safe place to live, let alone have a child all by yourself. Subsequently, this angel gives Hagar an answer that she didn’t want to hear.

The Angel of the Lord said to her, Go back to your mistress and [humbly] submit to her control. 10 Also the Angel of the Lord said to her, I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be numbered for multitude, Genesis 16:9-10.

This same concept also applies to prayer. Some prayers result in clear answers in the form of blessings. Other times in life you will receive a clear no, often in the form of a closed door, denying you the career, job or position that you really wanted. The final way that God answers prayers is by subtle, “not now or not yet.” This response could be a way to test your patience or a way to prepare you for what God has in store for you in the future. If you’re presently like me, disappointed by the answers God has for you, read Luke 18:1-8 so you can discern and learn from a persistent widow who wrestled with God in prayer.

by Jay Mankus

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We’re Not the Only Ones to Experience Regret

Posted on January 17, 2023 by expressyourself4him

As a parent, there are many things that I regret doing or saying. Yet, the fallen nature within me has caused me to overreact through the years. From a discipline standpoint, I lost my temper a few times as well as being a pushover in other areas, too soft when I needed to be firmer. While I’ve tried to do my best over the years, I’ve fallen short like everyone else on earth, Romans 3:23. This is nothing compared to what God the Father experienced from heaven as He watched His son die on a cross.

The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination and intention of all human thinking was only evil continually. 6 And the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved at heart, Genesis 6:5-6.

From God the Creator’s perspective, his children didn’t get off to a great start. Adam and Eve broke the only rule God set in the Garden of Eden. This was quickly followed by the first murder due to a jealous heart. While godly individuals like Enoch came along every once in a while, to habitually walk with Him, human nature gradually perverted the inhabitants of the earth. Subsequently, as God watched from heaven, He regretted what had become of His grand design of earth.

So the Lord said, I will destroy, blot out, and wipe away mankind, whom I have created from the face of the ground—not only man, [but] the beasts and the creeping things and the birds of the air—for it grieves Me and makes Me regretful that I have made them, Genesis 6:7.

As an artist in the context of a writer, I know what it feels like what when you have to scrap everything you’ve been working on by starting over from scratch. Yet, the Lord was emotionally invested in the human beings He had created. It’s one thing to throw away pieces of paper. In God’s case, we’re talking about ending the lives of people. Before reaching a final decision, Noah followed in the footsteps of Enoch to curry favor with God. As you reflect upon 2022 as 2023 was ushered in on New Year’s Day, may you remember that you’re not the only one to experience regret.

by Jay Mankus

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Cut It Out… Or Be Cut Off

Posted on November 7, 2022 by expressyourself4him

There were two common expressions the parents of teenagers in my neighbors used while trying to discipline unruly kids. The first was “knock it off,” but my dad often said, “cut it out.” When your father is a former defensive end and tight end in college, you do exactly what he says. One Old Testament prophet and Jesus make similar points in the passages below:

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened at all, that it cannot save, nor His ear dull with deafness, that it cannot hear. 2 But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear. 3 For your hands are defiled with blood and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue mutters wickedness. 4 None sues or calls in righteousness [but for the sake of doing injury to others—to take some undue advantage]; no one goes to law honestly and pleads [his case] in truth; they trust in emptiness, worthlessness and futility, and speaking lies! They conceive mischief and bring forth evil! – Isaiah 59:1-4

I came face to face with this expression during the summer before my senior year of college. While playing sand volleyball with my good friend Eddy, I broke my ankle. Instead of enjoying my final month of summer, I was bed-ridden for two weeks. While lying in bed, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper “cut if out or be cut off”. Like the Laodiceans in Revelation 3:15-16, I had become a lukewarm Christian.

 I am the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser. 2 Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit [that stops bearing] He cuts away (trims off, takes away); and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit. 3 You are cleansed and pruned already, because of the word which I have given you [the teachings I have discussed with you]. 4 Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. 5 I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing, John 15:1-5.

In the days that followed, I had come to a crossroads of faith. This was God’s way of saying, “make Jesus Lord of your life, Romans 10:9-11, or live for yourself.” At college I was a strong Christian, but at home in Cleveland I was chasing after earthly pleasures. August of 1991 altered my prodigal journey as I came to my spiritual senses to return home for good by beginning to cut out my former way of life, Colossians 3:5-9. May my personal journey inspire you to go all in by making Jesus Lord and Savior.

by Jay Mankus

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The Ground to Play

Posted on August 6, 2022 by expressyourself4him

If it wasn’t for recess, I wouldn’t have survived my twelve years in public education. The playground was a place of refuge for me. This was the only place in school where talking wasn’t necessary. Despite being short for my age until high school, my passion for sports quickly shined through. I may not have been strong, but I was fast and obsessed with winning. Meanwhile, this ground to play hid my severe stuttering from my peers. The more I competed at recess opened my eyes to the kind of athlete I could become.

Listen then to the [meaning of the] parable of the sower: 19 [h]While anyone is hearing the Word of the kingdom and does not grasp and comprehend it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the roadside. 20 As for what was sown on thin (rocky) soil, this is he who hears the Word and at once welcomes and accepts it with joy; 21 Yet it has no real root in him, but is temporary (inconstant, [i]lasts but a little while); and when affliction or trouble or persecution comes on account of the Word, at once he is caused to stumble [he is repelled and [j]begins to distrust and desert Him Whom he ought to trust and obey] and he falls away, Matthew 13:18-21.

At a recent LIV Golf clinic for kids in New Jersey, Commissioner Greg Norman shared a power message about competing in sports. Norman encouraged these youngsters to play as more sports as possible as these avenues provide a ground to play. Sports helps you see your strengths while revealing weaknesses as well. Meanwhile, if you want to get better, sports teach the competitive discipline to reach your full potential in life. Yet, for now sports provide the ground to compete and play for kids.

As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the Word, but the cares of the world and the pleasure and delight and glamour and deceitfulness of riches choke and suffocate the Word, and it yields no fruit. 23 As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the Word and grasps and comprehends it; he indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundred times as much as was sown, in another sixty times as much, and in another thirty, Matthew 13:22-23.

Jesus shared a first century parable based upon the different environment’s children are born into and are forced to confront in life. After speaking to a crowd, the disciples wanted to know further details about Jesus’ parable. Uses farming an analogy, there are 4 different types of soils farmers face. The first three all have limitations that stunts growth. The ultimate goal is to manage farms so that after years of discipline and hard work, fertile soil yields a great harvest. In the meantime, find ground to play with.

by Jay Mankus

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