Tag Archives: constructive criticism

The Tug of War between Self-Esteem and Pride

On a level playing field, there isn’t much between winning and losing.  Whoever possesses confidence often comes out on top.  While talent does make a difference, self-esteem either strengthens or weakens individuals.  Too much success can go to your head, creating a false sense of security.  Thus, the tug of war between self-esteem and pride commences.

I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses, 2 Corinthians 12:5.

The psyche craves encouragement, wanting to receive positive feedback.  Although constructive criticism can be beneficial, compliments boast one’s self-esteem like a pat on the back.  Yet, balance must be achieved by surrounding yourself with people who are  honest, realistic and truthful.  Maintaining this atmosphere is crucial to keeping you from going back and forth between self-esteem and pride.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me, 2 Corinthians 12:9.

Unfortunately, wounds to the soul leave most wallowing in self pity.  In a cruel world that can be unforgiving, recovering from any defeat is tough.  Perhaps, the words of apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians was meant to console and educate those with lost confidence.  Whenever you feel like you can’t go on, reach out to Jesus in prayer and God will provide the strength to carry on.  Subsequently, as the momentum turns in your favor don’t forget to thank the good Lord above so that pride doesn’t invade your soul.

by Jay Mankus

 

 

Thank You, May I Have Another?

Although its contributed to the moral decline of America, National Lampoon’s Animal House contain several classic movie lines.  In an attempt to join a fraternity, Kevin Bacon degrades himself to become a member, famously saying, “thank you sir, may I have another” spanking.  Another funny, yet perverted movie, Airplane possesses another hilarious moment.  When the character Striker confuses his name with a command, repeated by a person from behind, leading him to punch the lady in front of him.

While woman are likely offended by this scene, God refers to a different kind of striking in Psalm 141:5.  Unless I am wrong, the Lord appears to adorn the notion of being hit hard by the truth.  In fact, King David feels so strong about this, he urges the godly to accept being struck my righteous individuals.  Since my mind often remembers movie lines, my first inclination of this passage was to proclaim; “Thank you, may I have another.”

The Bible encourages individuals to seek out the truth by testing the things that you hear daily, 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22.  The disciple whom Jesus loved eludes to this in John 1:3-5, painting the picture of God’s Word being light that shines into the dark places of this world.  Thus, to be hit or struck by a spiritual truth should be perceived as an act of kindness.  Instead of being soft, Christians should toughen up, learning to embrace correction and rebukes.  Therefore, the next time a friend speaks a word of constructive criticism respond like an eager student, “thank you, may I have another?”

by Jay Mankus

Billy Joel Was Right

For many, music serves as a time warp, taking you back to the days of your youth upon hearing a song on the internet, mp3 player, radio or television.  According to 1 Samuel 16:21-23, music contains healing powers, soothing the soul of King Saul.  When I was younger, 8 track players were on their way out, vinyl had hit its peak and cassette players were the rage.  As for musicians, I was partial toward Billy Joel, Chicago and REO Speedwagon.  Two days ago, I couldn’t get one of Billy Joel’s song out of my mind.

Honesty was released in 1979 on Billy Joel’s 6th album 52nd Street.  The more I played the lyrics over in my mind, especially the chorus below, a truth hit home.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

In this politically correct age, void of honest humor, honesty has become a lonely word.  Instead of pushing individuals toward greatness, they are coddled, hand fed and led to believe they are greater than they really are.  Public education is the biggest offender of this crime against humanity.

My high school teachers told us the truth, even when you didn’t want to hear it.  These words served as inspiration and motivation to prove others wrong.  As a parent of 3 children now, all in public education for the first time, administrators need to apply the message of Billy Joel’s song.

Students don’t need award ceremony after award ceremony, celebrating who came to school every day and who didn’t.  This generation needs to be challenged by demonstrating tough love.  Affirmation and encouragement is important, yet to be a rugged individual, you must learn to endure hardship, embrace trials and pursue excellence.  The more you hear the truth through constructive criticism, your ability to reach your full potential increases.  As you practice this for yourself, you will see Billy Joel was right, honesty is a lonely word.  Change it now!

by Jay Mankus

On a personal note, its nice to hear how great you are.  However, to be the best writer I can be, please send me comments about topics I am not covering, how I can improve my writing or flaws you pick up reading my blogs.  Perfection may be impossible to achieve, Matthew 5:48, but trying to achieve it often results in future benefits or break throughs.  Any constructive criticism you are willing to send my way is greatly appreciated.  Good day and may God bless you all!