Tag Archives: sibling rivalry

A Sibling Rivalry or Tattle Tale?

Working too closely with family members on a project has a history of resulting in a clash of personalities. As the youngest boy in his family, Joseph appears to care more about doing chores than his older brothers. Or like any city/government job, one person is forced to do all the work as everyone else takes an extended break. Whatever happened while tending sheep, Moses suggests that Joseph is a tattle tale, complaining to his father about the lack of effort from his brothers.

So Jacob dwelt in the land in which his father had been a stranger and sojourner, in the land of Canaan. This is the history of the descendants of Jacob and this is Jacob’s line. Joseph, when he was seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers; the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s [secondary] wives; and Joseph brought to his father a bad report of them, Genesis 37:1-2.

As the youngest child in my family, I understand what Joseph is trying to do. Joseph was still eager to please his father. Apparently, Joseph’s older brothers were going through a too cool stage or simply didn’t care any more about tending the flocks. Perhaps, Joseph should have probed his brothers with questions, inquiring more about why they feel the way they do. Nonetheless, Joseph ends up looking like a tattle tale while his brothers were merely going through the motions in life.

Now while they were on their way, it occurred that Jesus entered a certain village, and a woman named Martha received and welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord’s feet and was listening to His teaching. 40 But Martha [overly occupied and too busy] was distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord, is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me [to lend a hand and do her part along with me]! 41 But the Lord replied to her by saying, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; 42 There is need of only one or but [i]a few things. Mary has chosen the good portion [[j]that which is to her advantage], which shall not be taken away from her, Luke 10:38-42.

A first century doctor records another sibling rivalry, this time between sisters. Martha is the older sister who seeks fulfillment through working hard and making sure her house is spotless for guests. The younger Mary is a relational person, longing to find out how everyone is doing. While the oldest plays the role of tattle tale in this story, Jesus rebukes Martha for missing the mark. If there is a side to every story, make sure that you take advantage of the conversations that you have daily.

by Jay Mankus

Living Your Life Based Upon the Children You Bear

Whenever parents are expecting their first child, there is usually some sort of conversation about what their name will be. Two lists will be made, names will be added and crossed out until an ultrasound determines the sex of your soon to be child. As I recently studied the life and children of Jacob, two interesting observations stuck out. First, it appears that Jacob allowed Leah and Rachel to name all of his boys. Second, Leah and Rachel based their overall success in life on the total amount of children they helped conceive.

 When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister, and said to Jacob, Give me children, or else I will die! And Jacob became very angry with Rachel and he said, Am I in God’s stead, Who has denied you children? And she said, See here, take my maid Bilhah and have intercourse with her; and [when the baby comes] she shall deliver it upon my knees, that I by her may also have children. And she gave him Bilhah her maid as a [secondary] wife, and Jacob had intercourse with her. And Bilhah became pregnant and bore Jacob a son. And Rachel said, God has judged and vindicated me, and has heard my plea and has given me a son; so she named him Dan [judged], Genesis 30:1-6.

In the absence of television and social media, activities and conversations were likely an integral part of daily life in the Old Testament. The storyteller of the family would likely recount funny and meaningful events depending upon the audience. At some point, Jacob would have revealed the blessing that he received from Isaac as well as God’s promise to have numerous descendants, like counting stars in the sky on a clear evening. This topic likely triggered a competition between two sisters who appear to place their success is life based upon how many children they each bear.

And Bilhah, Rachel’s maid, conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. And Rachel said, With mighty wrestlings [in prayer to God] I have struggled with my sister and have prevailed; so she named him [this second son Bilhah bore] Naphtali [struggled]. When Leah saw that she had ceased to bear, she gave Zilpah her maid to Jacob as a [secondary] wife. 10 And Zilpah, Leah’s maid, bore Jacob a son. 11 Then Leah said, Victory and good fortune have come; and she named him Gad [fortune], 12 Zilpah, Leah’s maid, bore Jacob [her] second son. 13 And Leah said, I am happy, for women will call me blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied); and she named him Asher [happy], Genesis 30:7-13.

Like two guys trying to outdo their friend, Leah and Rachel go back and forth, thanking God for each child born either by them or their maid. Unfortunately, Jacob appears to be caught in the middle, trying to please two fragile women and their maids. As this quest continues, the twelve tribes of Israel are being formed, named after Jacob’s sons. While Leah may be the winner on paper, bearing the most children, Rachel’s first boy that she conceived is the most famous, Joseph. Despite this sibling rivalry, it’s clear from Moses’ words that God is still in control through it all.

by Jay Mankus

When You’re Rejected by God

Rejections come in various forms like having a credit card declined, being dismissed by an employer or being turned down for a date.  However, whenever prayers go unanswered, problems continue to mount or nothing ever seems to go right, individuals feel rejected by God.  Confused by God’s lack of action and silence, wounded souls struggle to make sense of their current dilemma.

Following their banishment from the Garden of Eden in Genesis 3:23, the first family resembled a soap opera more than God’s well pleased creation.  To make matters worse, a sibling rivalry commenced in Genesis 4:3-5.  When big bigger, Cain, had his offering rejected by God, resentment and jealousy flowed toward his younger brother Abel.  As disappointment gave birth to depression, a wicked scheme tempted the mind of Cain.  It’s one thing to be honest with God, yet revenge led Cain to overreact, ending the life of his little brother.

Although the Lord does predestine certain leaders to fulfill the great commission, there are clear indications why God rejected Cain and accepted Abel’s offering.

1) God honors those who give their best, Matthew 5:48.  Genesis 4:3 suggests there was no sense of urgency within Cain to give the Lord his first fruits.  Cain waited until his belly was full and his family had enough food to eat before he got around to it.  Foregoing Matthew 6:33, Cain appeared to trust in his own ability and not God.  Meanwhile, Abel gave to the Lord his first and most precious sheep, believing God would replace these in the near future, Genesis 4:4.

2) Offer your body as a living sacrifice, Romans 12:1.  If everything that is good comes from above, James 1:16-17, when people honor God with their bodies, you get the Lord’s attention like Abel.  On the other hand, its easy to become lukewarm about things in life, picking and choosing when its convenient to serve God.  I guess you can say, Cain’s heart wasn’t into his offering.  Therefore, when you fall into this habit or pattern, its essential that you receive a spiritual heart transplant, Ezekiel 36:26.

3)Be your brother’s keeper by holding others accountable, James 5:19-20.  Cain tried to avoid any responsibility for his brother’s death.  Whether you’re the oldest or the youngest, each believer should set the example for others to follow, 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12.  Whenever someone does stray off course, its vital to steer wandering souls back toward the narrow path, Matthew 7:13-14.  Thus, the next time you feel rejected by God, reflect upon these 3 indicators so that you won’t regret or overreact to the hand you have been dealt like Cain.

by Jay Mankus