Tag Archives: overcoming suicidal thoughts

S.A.N.S. Episode 150: Slow Motion Suicide

Posted on June 30, 2022 by expressyourself4him

I was a big fan of the rock group Kansas as a teenager. Carry On Wayward Son and Dust in the Wind were my two favorites. Looking back, the lyrics of these two songs have spiritual elements which likely influenced lead singer Kerry Livgren to transition to a solo career. Today’s featured song Slow Motion Suicide comes from Livgren’s AD album. Not many artists have a PHD in music, but Kerry was way ahead of his time in using a variety of instruments and sounds during his career as a Christian artist.

And casting the pieces of silver [forward] into the [Holy Place of the [b]sanctuary of the] temple, he departed; and he went off and hanged himself, Matthew 27:5.

While the topic of today’s song isn’t positive, there is a reason I selected this tune. As someone who planned my own suicide as a child, most people don’t just wake up one day and decide to kill themselves. Rather, this thought is planted inside fragile minds by the Devil. As children are bullied, made fun of and or teased, ideas like “if I was dead nobody would care anyway” pop into depressed heads. Unless someone intervenes, this slow motion mindset will give birth to suicide. Stop these thoughts via prayer.

by Jay Mankus

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When Death Lost It’s Grip on Me

Posted on November 9, 2021 by expressyourself4him

If you have ever walked through a Haunted House or Forest, one of the methods used to inflict fear is by being grabbed by an unseen hand. Part of this role play often involves taking and keeping a firm hold of your arm or leg without warning. Despite how scared you may be during this experience, it is only temporary. In the passage below, the apostle Paul explains why and when fear of death lost it’s grip on human beings.

For this perishable [part of us] must put on the imperishable [nature], and this mortal [part of us, this nature that is capable of dying] must put on immortality (freedom from death). 54 And when this perishable puts on the imperishable and this that was capable of dying puts on freedom from death, then shall be fulfilled the Scripture that says, Death is swallowed up (utterly vanquished [h]forever) in and unto victory, 1 Corinthians 15:53-54.

My junior high years were the lowest in my life. Despite attending church every Sunday, I struggled with depression daily. In my darkest days, I was suicidal, thinking of ways to end my life. Little did I know that God began to send loving Christians and mentors into my life to keep me alive. These individuals encouraged me to seek God not in a religious manner, but pursue a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Now sin is the sting of death, and sin exercises its power [i][upon the soul] through [j][the abuse of] the Law. 57 But thanks be to God, Who gives us the victory [making us conquerors] through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be firm (steadfast), immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord [always being superior, excelling, doing more than enough in the service of the Lord], knowing and being continually aware that your labor in the Lord is not futile [it is never wasted or to no purpose], 1 Corinthians 15:56-58.

I resisted these offers until a nervous breakdown during a cross country practice. When a girl that I liked messed with my mind, this was the last straw before I lost complete control. Shortly after this experience, I was invited to a Fellowship of Christian Athletes event. Following an inspirational speech my Skip Wilkins on December 4th, 1984, I gave my life to Jesus, Romans 10:9-10. The moment I made this decision, death lost it’s grip on me, 1 John 5:13.

by Jay Mankus

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