Tag Archives: overcoming divorce

When Souls are Crushed Beyond Repair

As a teenager growing up in Delaware, divorce was a rare word. Out of all of my high school friends, I only knew of a few individuals who had experienced their parents’ relationship fall apart. Yet, as a teacher in a Christian school, it seemed like every week there was a couple who had decided to quit on their marriage. From time to time, students would approach me, bawling their eyes out, afraid of their future at our school and where they would live. I’ve seen with my own eyes souls crushed beyond repair.

And our father said, Go again and buy us a little food. 26 But we said, We cannot go down. If our youngest brother is with us, then we will go down; for we may not see the man’s face except our youngest brother is with us. 27 And your servant my father said to us, You know that [Rachel] my wife bore me two sons: 28 And the one went out from me, and I said, Surely he is torn to pieces, and I have never seen him since. 29 And if you take this son also from me, and harm or accident should befall him, you will bring down my gray hairs with sorrow and evil to Sheol (the place of the dead), Genesis 44:25-29.

Whenever a parent has witnessed their own child suffer harm, this can be heart breaking, especially for a mother. However, in the passage above, Moses writes about a father who had one of his sons die. This one event led Jacob to become extremely protective, not wanting to allow Benjamin to leave his sight. Apparently, Jacob appears to possess a soul that was crushed beyond repair as he was more concerned with Benjamin’s wellbeing than starving to death.

Now therefore, when I come to your servant my father and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life and his soul knit with the lad’s soul, 31 When he sees that the lad is not with us, he will die; and your servants will be responsible for his death and will bring down the gray hairs of your servant our father with sorrow to Sheol. 32 For your servant became security for the lad to my father, saying, If I do not bring him to you, then I will bear the blame to my father forever, Genesis 44:30-32.

The book Restoring the Foundations by Becky and Chester Kylstra introduced me to the term Soul/Spirit hurts. Soul/Spirit hurts are wounds to the soul, emotional hurts that individuals have yet to take time to deal with in their lives. As I read the words of Moses, Jacob had not yet overcome the pain of Joseph’s death. As a son of Korah writes Psalm 46:10, it’s a remainder that Christians need to slow down to heal broken hearts and or crushed spirits. May today’s blog help readers allow you to begin this healing process.

by Jay Mankus

A Nagging Sting that Doesn’t Go Away

My first bee sting came as a child in a blue berry patch. Fortunately, my mom was an EMT at the time. As a teenager, I ran over a hornet’s nest while cutting grass resulting in multiple stings. Despite being young, the pain from these stingers lingered for a month. In the last days on earth, a creature will arise that will be leave stung victims with a nagging pain for five months.

The locusts resembled horses equipped for battle. On their heads was something like golden crowns. Their faces resembled the faces of people. They had hair like the hair of women, and their teeth were like lions’ teeth. Their breastplates (scales) resembled breastplates made of iron, and the [whirring] noise made by their wings was like the roar of a vast number of horse-drawn chariots going at full speed into battle, Revelation 9:7-9.

You don’t have to have an encounter with a bee to get stung in life. Maybe you lost an important friendship, endured a heart-breaking divorce or were betrayed by someone you trusted. Whenever a relationship ends badly or has been permanently damaged, this can be like a nagging sting that doesn’t go away. With just the sight of this individual, phone call or text, this pain you tried to hide remerges.

They have tails like scorpions, and they have stings, and in their tails lies their ability to hurt men for [the] five months, Revelation 9:10.

The disciple whom Jesus loved has a vision of what life will be like in the last days on earth. Following a series of tribulations, locusts with a stinger most powerful than a scorpion will inflict devastation over the earth for five months. While no one will be killed by these locusts, the pain will be too much to bear. As you endure present trials on earth, remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30 so that you will find rest for troubled and weary souls.

by Jay Mankus

Allowing Relationships to go Their Own Separate Ways

Separate Ways debuted in 1983, two years after Music Television was launched on August 1st, 1981.  This Journey song was recorded on the Frontier’s album, peaking at #8 on the Billboard’s Top 100 chart.  While Separate Ways did reach #1 for four weeks on the Top Tracks Chart, there is more to this song Behind the Music.  The lyrics of Separate Ways was inspired by the painful break ups and divorces Journey band members experienced.

After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us go back and visit the brothers and sisters (believers) in every city where we preached the message of the Lord, and see how they are doing.” 37 Now Barnabas wanted to take [his cousin] John, who was called Mark, along with them, Acts 15:36-37.

I experienced divorce for the first time when my neighbor’s mom got divorced twice in a three year period.  Spending every other week or once a month with your father must be confusing and difficult for any teenager.  Meanwhile, when the stability of a family collapses, fear of broken and severed relationships leave soul spirit hurts behind.  When I researched Separate Ways, Worlds Apart is italicized like a sub-title that becomes a reality when relationships go their own separate ways.

But Paul kept insisting that they should not take along with them the one who had quit and deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone on with them to the work. 39 And it became such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took [John] Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, Acts 15:38-39.

The Bible refers to a different type of separate ways in the passage above.  Luke highlights a disagreement between Barnabas and Paul over missionary partners.  Barnabas allowed family ties to blind him from his cousin’s desertion during their first missionary journey.  While Paul does forgive John Mark in future epistles, he was unwilling to take the risk of relying on someone who recently abandoned the mission field.  Subsequently, Paul and Barnabas go their own separate ways, serving the Lord in their own unique manner.  While I am sure there were hurt feelings by both parties, sometimes it’s better to go your own separate ways.

by Jay Mankus