Tag Archives: deepening your relationships

One On One

 

According to a 2012 article at The Week Magazine, Friedhelm Hillebrand is credited with the initial concept of texting.  In 1984 Hillebrand recognized most of the information he wanted to convey could be condensed to 160 characters, serving as the limit for early text messages.  Eight years later, Neil Papworth sent a good friend the first SMS message to express “Merry Christmas.”  Since this pioneer revolutionized the way people communicate 21 years ago, society has never been the same.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkpWk8FJsys

Today, young people prefer to use their fingers than pick up the phone.  In fact, to avoid confrontation, adults now use Facebook, texting or Twitter to replace face to face encounters.  Though texting is a convenient and efficient means of communication, it should be no way replace one on one conversations.  God designed human beings to be relational creatures, interacting with one another.  However, I am afraid that future technology will continue to disconnect individuals from forming permanent meaningful lasting relationships.

Like most Monday mornings, I drove to Star Bucks to meet a close friend and former colleague.  While not every conversation is life altering, there is something special about sharing your burdens, good news and relating past events to current situations.  Pouring out my soul and spilling my guts has established a tight bond of fellowship, rare in the fast paced life style on the East Coast.  If you ever feel like you’re missing something, void of a missing ingredient, its probably because you don’t have enough one on one conversations.  Reach out today to a friend from the past or present, making room on your calender, to connect with another soul one on one.

by Jay Mankus

What Lies Beneath the Surface

World's

In a sense, every day at some point is like a scene from The Truman Show starring Jim Carey.  Whether you are at home, work or out in your community, someone is going to ask you sooner or later, “how are you doing?”  The protocol response is typically “I’m fine,” maybe you chit chat for a moment or two, then you carry on with the rest of your day.  However, what happens when you deviate from the norm?  Does this inquiring mind drop everything to give you their undivided attention or are they simply going through the motions like you, afraid to find out what’s really beneath the surface?

Whenever I have an opportunity to converse with others, I tend to have code words which suggest what lies beneath the surface of my heart.  If I say, “I can’t complain,” this means that I am just doing okay, not great.  However, when I use “I’m surviving,” I am giving people a cue, an invitation to go deep into my life.  Unfortunately, many of my colleagues often miss this sign, too focused on their life, specific tasks or too busy to get involved.

For3 years, Jesus invested his time and energy into 12 men.  Though most of their early discussions were likely superficial, Jesus demonstrated what it meant to be a relational person in John 4.  At their Last Supper together, Matthew 26:17-30, Jesus poured out his heart to his disciples, revealing the anguish and emotions deep inside.  Later on in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus pulls onside his 3 closest friends, Matthew 26:27-28, further sharing the painful burden he was carrying.  These 3 men were so touched, they each fell asleep, unable to tarry in prayer with their brother.

Although we were never with Jesus in this garden, we have all fallen asleep on our brothers and sisters.  Cell phones, game systems and the internet have lured many of us away from developing intimate relationships with the people we love.  What are we fearful of?  Why do we settle for mediocre conversations?  Don’t let another cue fade away into the distant future.  Rather, lend an ear and take a chance by asking a follow up question so that you can get to the bottom of what lies beneath the surface of the people you love.

by Jay Mankus