While listening to a sermon last weekend, a spirit of guilt began to consume me. Like a movie playing within my mind, highlights of the person I could have been flashed before me. Yet, a lack of faith, money and resources has caused me to chose a different path. Part of me wants to make the most of what God has given me, but for now all I can see is a bunch of lost opportunities.
From Paphos, Paul and his companions sailed to Perga in Pamphylia, where John left them to return to Jerusalem, Acts 13:13.
I guess you call this a crisis of faith or a mid-life crisis. Either way I feel like I could do so much more with my life, but have lost the desire and passion to fulfill my potential. In the book of Acts, Luke writes about someone who becomes homesick, leaving the mission field to return home. This same individual eventually won back the apostle Paul’s trust and wrote the Gospel of Mark. Since I am not a finished project, perhaps there is still hope for me.
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil, Ephesians 5:15-16.
After reviewing the Old Testament, I am reminded of the long detour taken by Israel on their way to the Promised Land. A trip that was suppose to take a little over a month ended up lasting for 40 years. This past failure helps me realize that I am not alone. Though I don’t feel any better, this example provides insight about how disobedience disrupts your journey. While lost opportunities will bring future disappointment, there is still time for a U-Turn here and there to arrive at the place where God wants me to be.
by Jay Mankus