Tag Archives: marriage counseling

I Guess They Meant What They Said

One of the best parts of any wedding is the reception. This gives those in attendance time to share their initial impressions of the ceremony while it’s fresh in their minds. Following my own wedding back in 1995, my wife’s mom, Barb, had a special moment with one of her friends. Barb recounted this story to me following our honeymoon. Barb said, “most of the weddings I attend, I’m not sure whether it’s going to last. However, based upon their vows and what they said, I have a good feeling this marriage is going to last a lifetime.” Nearly 28 years and counting.

Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

Before any young couple decides to tie the knot, there are numerous ways to prepare. Some choose marriage counseling, others attend pre-marriage Christian conferences, and others simply read as many books on the topic of marriage as possible. My wife Leanne and I did all three of these options. Yet, this doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage. Having spiritual mentors can help you through the highs and lows in life, but ultimately marriages that pray together tend to stay together. The last missing link is developing a will to love your spouse like Christ loves the church.

Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken, Ecclesiastes 4:11-12.

As for my own marriage, my long hair is gone, I’ve put on forty pounds, and following my emergency eye surgery, it’s hard for me to be in a picture without sunglasses on. Nonetheless, my will to love my wife Leanne has enabled me to keep my wedding vows. Yet, like any human being, I have bad days that may turn into weeks. Thank God that faith isn’t a feeling; it’s a mindset and way of life. Just like the words of Jeremiah in Lamentations 3:19-24, God’s forgiveness is new every day. This biblical promise and many like it have helped Leanne and I mean what we said long ago.

by Jay Mankus

A Marriage Makeover

In the beginning of this year, the Lord opened up my eyes to several areas in my life that I have neglected.  Unfortunately, my marriage of one of these, taking it for granted without putting the energy and time God desires for a Christian husband.  Thus, I’ve spent the last few weeks reflecting and praying about the best solution to revitalize my marriage.  The answer has come in the form of a marriage makeover.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25.

After having three kids, one of our favorite television shows to watch as a family was Extreme Makeover: Home Edition with Ty Pennington.  ABC and corporate sponsors gave families who were down on their luck or recovering from a loss to have a fresh start.  Movies like The Ultimate Gift and Fire Proof have added practical ideas to apply daily which individuals can alter their perspective on life and enhance their ability to love.  These influences have inspired me to put a formula for a marriage makeover into my movie script.

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord, Proverbs 19:14.

In the last two weeks, I’ve heard two sermons which have convinced me that I am on the right track.  Since a portion of my current script has a couple going through marriage counseling, I hope that I am able to communicate and portray a useful tool for struggling couples.  In a society that is trading in marriages like a used car, I pray that the final edit of Dragged Behind the Devil’s Door will be the next film to impact America in a positive manner.  Below are the themes I have woven into my script.

  1. Turn the television off and begin to create your own reality show.
  2. Invest time weekly in an activity of the others choice, talking about it over dinner or a walk so you don’t stop getting to know one another.
  3. Serve one another by stopping what you are doing to listen, love and pray together.
  4. Display unexpected acts of kindness to ignite passion and physical intimacy.

by Jay Mankus