In a sense, every day at some point is like a scene from The Truman Show starring Jim Carey. Whether you are at home, work or out in your community, someone is going to ask you sooner or later, “how are you doing?” The protocol response is typically “I’m fine,” maybe you chit chat for a moment or two, then you carry on with the rest of your day. However, what happens when you deviate from the norm? Does this inquiring mind drop everything to give you their undivided attention or are they simply going through the motions like you, afraid to find out what’s really beneath the surface?
Whenever I have an opportunity to converse with others, I tend to have code words which suggest what lies beneath the surface of my heart. If I say, “I can’t complain,” this means that I am just doing okay, not great. However, when I use “I’m surviving,” I am giving people a cue, an invitation to go deep into my life. Unfortunately, many of my colleagues often miss this sign, too focused on their life, specific tasks or too busy to get involved.
For3 years, Jesus invested his time and energy into 12 men. Though most of their early discussions were likely superficial, Jesus demonstrated what it meant to be a relational person in John 4. At their Last Supper together, Matthew 26:17-30, Jesus poured out his heart to his disciples, revealing the anguish and emotions deep inside. Later on in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus pulls onside his 3 closest friends, Matthew 26:27-28, further sharing the painful burden he was carrying. These 3 men were so touched, they each fell asleep, unable to tarry in prayer with their brother.
Although we were never with Jesus in this garden, we have all fallen asleep on our brothers and sisters. Cell phones, game systems and the internet have lured many of us away from developing intimate relationships with the people we love. What are we fearful of? Why do we settle for mediocre conversations? Don’t let another cue fade away into the distant future. Rather, lend an ear and take a chance by asking a follow up question so that you can get to the bottom of what lies beneath the surface of the people you love.
by Jay Mankus
ExpressYourself4Him 