Tag Archives: coping with losing

After a Loss

Posted on May 14, 2016 by expressyourself4him

Whether situations in this life or the actual grieving process following the loss of a life, neither is a pleasant experience.  In the moments afterward, raw emotions are stirred causing an individual to teeter between depression and frustration.  How you handle disappointment will influence the person you will become.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, 1 Corinthians 13:5.

Last night I was a substitute baseball coach during the final scrimmage of the preseason.  Over matched by better athletes, competitors and talent, I think the final score was 24-0.  The game was called in the bottom of the third after the opposition stole home on 3 consecutive wild pitches.  Its bad enough to get beaten, but when you have to wave the white flag to surrender, its a hard pill to swallow.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, James 1:2.

During my final year in Chicago, I spent most of that time working for Michael Jordan Golf, serving as a sales associate before being promoted to Assistant Manager and Store Manager.  This allowed me to rub shoulders with people close to Michael.  While I never met him directly, no one hated to lose more than Michael.  Thus, he was relentless, coming back more determined than ever.  Although this has nothing to do with the Bible in particular, this is the mentality you should possess after a loss.

by Jay Mankus

 

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The Cruel Reality of Sports

Posted on January 13, 2015 by expressyourself4him

When the clock strikes zero at the end of any competition, their is usually a winner and loser.  Though a regular season game may result in a tie, in the playoffs, this isn’t an option.  Whether you’re talking about the National Championship, Super Bowl or Olympics, only one team or individual will walk off as the victor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhASCL-3GwU

From a personal perspective, I once blew an eight shot lead during the Club Championship; then lost in an 18 hole playoff.  When things start to slip away, as momentum goes in the opponents direction, a helpless feeling grips your body.  This tide often results in the agony of defeat, something I’ve tasted on numerous occasions.  Unfortunately, this is the cruel reality of sports.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. – 1 Corinthians 9:25

Therefore, as Ohio State and Oregon fans go to sleep tonight, one will celebrate into the midnight hours while the loser will ponder what could have been.  For the senior players, several will be playing their final game, trading in their jerseys for a career in their field of study.  Perhaps, this is why the apostle Paul wrote the words of 1 Corinthians 9:25.  Like of the motto of Little League, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game!”  May these words stick with you the next time you experience the cruel reality of sports.

by Jay Mankus

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The Sound of Defeat

Posted on February 1, 2014 by expressyourself4him

Silence, groans and hushed voices are just a few signs of losing.  Meanwhile, body language slumps, slows down and expresses defeat without a word.  On Sunday evening, around 9:45 pm Eastern Standard Time, the sound of defeat will visit one sideline after the final seconds tick off the clock in Super Bowl XLVIII.  As confetti falls, cameras flash and reporters get their microphones ready to interview the champions, the loser will slip away in obscurity, pondering what might have been.

In the arena of life, the sound of defeat is less subtle.  Sure, there will always be Debbie downers and depressed Davids, yet most will hide their emotions until no one is around or only their family is in view.  However, in sports, the agony of defeat occurs under a microscope, often with life shattering results.  Skip Dillard went to prison because he missed 1 free throw in an NCAA Basketball Tournament Game as a star for the Depaul Blue Demons.  Tonya Harding turned to thuggery in an attempt to win an Olympic Gold medal in figure skating.  Finally, Donavon McNabb, upchucked as the closing moments of the Super Bowl got too big for him, beyond what he could handle.

In biblical times, there was a different sound heard by Joshua and Moses as each had their own suspicion.  From afar, Joshua heard what sounded like the sound of war in Exodus 32:17.  Stepping in like a Jedi Knight, playing a similar role to Yoda, Moses corrects this young rising star, “It’s not the sound of victory, it’s the sound of defeat;” Exodus 32:18.”  Perhaps Moses understood the concept of 1 Corinthians 9:24-25, with 1 winner and multiple losers.  Therefore, instead of resting in a pit of despair, pick your head up out of the gutter and focus on a crown that will last forever so that the sound of defeat doesn’t cripple your soul for a lifetime.

by Jay Mankus

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Perfect No More

Posted on January 21, 2014 by expressyourself4him

As a youth pastor living in Columbus, Indiana, I spent many hours of my free time attending high school sporting events.  To support members of my youth group, I often traveled to cross country invitationals, cheering on the girls team of Columbus North which was usually perfect leading up to the state meet.  Unfortunately, Kokomo’s team, just east of Indianapolis seemed to have their number, falling a few places short of perfection.  Across town, Ashley was on the fast track to make the Olympics, never losing a high meet until the state finals her junior year, swimming for Columbus East.  Winning all of her qualifying races, Ashley was invincible until 1 bad flip turn cost her, staring at the scoreboard revealed a 3rd place finish, heart broken and perfect no more.

Several years later, I had the pleasure to coach high school golf for 10 seasons.  My first crop of athletes were destined for greatness as one is now a P.G.A. professional and the other is flirting with the mini-tours.  Experiencing growing pains my first 2 seasons, one of my golfers didn’t taste defeat until his senior season.  Sure, John had lost to other golfers in AJGA events, yet he was undefeated in match play.  Playing as an 8th grader, John regularly shocked and surprised seniors.  Strangely enough, John lost his final 2 matches 5 years later, as Goliath was beaten and perfect no more.

The average athlete tastes defeat every season, forced to cope with losing.  Regardless of the level or sport, only 1 team or individual is crowned a champion, leaving every one else a loser.  When trials come, one of 2 outcomes occur: individuals become mentally tough or visibly shaken as confidence and the memory of victory fades.  While perfection is unattainable on earth, Jesus urges his followers to set lofty goals, Matthew 5:48.  The words of the apostle Paul are a good starting point for those looking to pick up the pieces of their ego, Philippians 3:13.  Since you can’t change or control past results, “forget what is behind and look forward to that which is ahead!”

by Jay Mankus

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